Hi, J here for a review.
I Love Star Wars. I may have eight different fandoms but Star Wars is the main one. I will start with the things that I did not like then move on to the good things.
You introduced about 5 characters in the first paragraph but only 3 were part of the main action, it was very confusing.
What the crap? Why Seppies it would have sounded tons better to just say Sepratists.
What is up with your timeline? in the first bit it sounds like this team is gong to go defeat Dookoo then Vader comes in and they were not alive at the same time, then Kylo starts and I'm like WHAT? Not to mention that the sepratists are a part of the prequel trilogy. Basicly you go from Prequel to Original to Sequel. It's bad you need to educate yourself on Star Wars timelines.
Is Dorian supposed t be Obi-Wan if so why not just say Obi-Wan?
On to good things.
If I understood right Chie is the main character and she is a mighty fine one at that. Her voice and attitude is really great. And that fighter she brings down with her bare hands!
Great detail in the saber fight between her and the knights of ren and ren.
I liked the nice emotional ending it topped off the already good story.
Good Job and Keep Writing!!
Points: 5229
Reviews: 80
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