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Two Kittens

by CocoaCat

There once were two cats; white and black.

Sibling cats; hunting skills they lack.

They both were still kittens,

The white cat named Mittens,

My brother named the other Jack.

(I had to write this in class and I wanted to know what you guys thought, so what the heck, here is my limerick that doesn't make much sense)

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48 Reviews

Points: 174
Reviews: 48

Tue May 23, 2017 4:55 pm
CocoaCat says...

Holy heck you guys, I really did not think anyone would even read this but you guys LOVED it. Thanks so much!
I was away camping this weekend and there was no wifi signal or any way for me to see what was going on. So, this morning, I checked out Young Writers and was totally excited to see it made it into the literary spotlight. Since you guys seemed to really enjoy it, I'm going to try my hand at more poems.
Again, thank you guys SO very much for all your support!

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Points: 11
Reviews: 9

Sun May 21, 2017 3:07 pm
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rohan wrote a review...

I like this poem mainly for its childlike singsong rhythm.
The good thing - It follows the rules, and has a flow which makes the poem enjoyable. Also, selection of words is good that successfully forms images in the head while reading it.
Limericks generally tend to be humorous, with a twist in the last line so that it stays in the mind of the reader for its uniqueness. This aspect is missing and you can surely experiment on it. A piece of advice: whatever you write it in the class or as an assignment, try to edit it the day after. It becomes more beautiful and meaningful!
Overall, I found the poem really cute.
Keep writing.

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6 Reviews

Points: 47
Reviews: 6

Sun May 21, 2017 12:13 am
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I like this! It is very cute, very simple, very.....KITTENY! This deserves to be seen! Glad you posted it! There isn't very much more to say. I shall sign off. God Bless!

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126 Reviews

Points: 624
Reviews: 126

Fri May 19, 2017 1:58 pm
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Thisislegacy wrote a review...

Legacy here for a review.

I like this. It's cute and simple like kittens. You have a great use of imagery without needing to use many words at all. That is a skill; being able to use only a few words to bring about a whole scene.

Some people see the last line as awkward, but I think it works and keeps you to the rhyming scheme of a limerick. Plus it's okay to have a quirky line every once in awhile. It spices everything up a little bit.

Overall, this is a good poem and a final draft in my opinion. Legacy.

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268 Reviews

Points: 550
Reviews: 268

Thu May 18, 2017 7:37 pm
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marms says...


CocoaCat says...


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68 Reviews

Points: 794
Reviews: 68

Thu May 18, 2017 5:31 pm
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Midnightmoon says...

Cute! I like the rhyming and there is absolutely nothing wrong with limericks! The last line is a little awkward, but sometimes it can add something to the poem! That's all I have to say! :D.

This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.
— T.S. Eliot