Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
We've been together for so much time, I lost track counting the years. I had felt you in multiple ways, Physically, mentally, emotionally. I felt I was a broken heart when my parents went their ways. I felt you as depression. I felt you as a bruised leg. I felt harassed, disappointed as an abandonment. As this sharp pain in my back that doesn't seem to fade. I felt as loneliness crept up on me and just swallowed me down whole. I still to this day feel like an orphan in my own home. There's more but you know all about the late-night crying. The sleeping pills I had to take for me to just sleep. The waking up at the crack of dawn because it felt like someone just took a knife and implied it to my chest so I wake up with chest pain. You know it all.
As much as I'm used to having you around I think it's time we go our separate ways. See times change and the past is long gone. Even know it haunts me to this day but I can't keep doing this. You are pushing me to the point I just don't want to live. My life has become a constant nightmare. The reason why I feel you in my back well is that I've been carrying these past events for too long this story that I keep repeating to myself the same symphony that's been playing over and over again. I'm tired of rereading it. I'm tired of putting up with it. I'm tired of listening to it.
Nothing is forever and neither is our relationship, I love you and I'm thankful for you because if it wasn't for you then I wouldn't be able to realize what everyone was too blind to see. That the world is dying, but that's a story for another day. I wouldn't be able to learn all these valuable lessons. I can't give this life up, not yet. I think we're better off not spending so much time together anymore.
You gave me a lot but you also took a lot out of me. Especially energy and I hereby take my power back. You're a big part of my story but, I won't let the story go so far and you have all of its control over me in the present moment anymore. I'm fully aware of what's wrong with me. I'm fully aware of the looks I get when friends walk in the doctor's office and see me sitting there getting blood taken out of my arm. I'm fully aware of everything now. Thank you for making me feel what others were too blind to know. I have to let you go now. We're probably going to see each other again sometime but just know next time I won't let you stay. I won't make myself suffer. I'll take the lessons and then you'll have to go. Thank you, I love you but from a distance.