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Dreams!!!

by Bhaavya Singh


Make a wish upon the star

A dream,that was in your heart so far. 

A desire to get what your goal has been

Dreams are there to be seen.

Give wings to your aspirations

With a heart full of determination.

Let them fly in the open sky

Dreams are there to be kept high. 

To reach beyond the clouds

To make yourself stand proud,

Stay strong in life's every phase

You have your dreams to chase. 

Challenging situations and gloomy days

Will lie on your path ahead.

Years of hard work,patience and sacrifice

Will ultimately help you win the prize.

Sometimes it will seem so difficult

You would want to give up. 

But to experience success's pleasant scent

You would need to be diligent.

Don't fear of failures and flops

They will pave your way to the top. 

One day your dream will come true

And success will be with you.


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6 Reviews


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Reviews: 6

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Mon Dec 09, 2019 6:12 pm
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KaPo21 wrote a review...



This is a lovely poem. I enjoyed reading. I believe it is necessary to have dreams and goals you want to complete, no matter what life situation you are in. I liked the last two lines:

"One day your dream will come true
And success will be with you."

It sounds good, it just does. It is also very, VERY well written. Your grammar, spelling, and punctuation was on point. Keep on writing and have a lovely Christmas holiday!




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17 Reviews


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Reviews: 17

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Mon Dec 09, 2019 3:25 pm
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Softballgirl333 wrote a review...



Hello Bhaavya Singh!

I do not wish to be critical, and all of my suggestions are with the best intentions!

Suggestions

Bhaavya Singh wrote: A dream,that was in your heart so far.


This line is quite confusing to me, and I feel like it was a forced rhyme. That may not be true, but it feels that way. Is the dream far away because it is hard to reach? Honestly I feel like the line would do just fine without the "so far."


Bhaavya Singh wrote: Give wings to your aspirations

With a heart full of determination.


I really enjoy this line and the emotion it conveys about the reader/narrator.


Bhaavya Singh wrote: Years of hard work,patience and sacrifice


Just a small thing is that there should be a space after your comma. Just a small grammatical thing.

Overall

I really enjoyed this poem and it reminded me of parts of my childhood. I think the opening line "Make a wish upon a star" reminded me of the song, and Disney which puts me in a place of remembrance. One thing I will say is that I think this poem would benefit from being pieced into stanzas. I really liked how for the majority of the poem you didn't force a rhyme scheme, which in places where the lines don't exactly match the AABB rhyme scheme, it still fits the flow of the poem and nothing feels too out of ordinary. I love how you portray both sides of reaching a goal, and all of the emotion I could feel through this poem. Really well written and a great plot line to your poem. Great Job.

Happy Writing,
SBG




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91 Reviews


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Reviews: 91

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Thu Nov 28, 2019 12:49 am
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dahlia58 says...



This is a very positive poem. I enjoyed reading it a lot. It's good to have dreams and things you want to do, no matter what happens. I especially liked the first line "Make a wish upon the star." It just rings well, for reasons even I don't know. Please keep writing your positive pieces. ^^






Thanks




Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
— Thomas Edison