Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Literature

E - Everyone

Being an artist

by Beautifulsparkle

I'm sitting still imagining blue flames

Moving serpentine-like, setting ablaze

The entire witty core of a poet's soul

Treacherous ruby lips wispering more...

To be or not to be an artist

Is that the question?

To be subjected to sweet torment allday

Beating your head against the wall, I say

Seaching like a miner for a diamond in the rough

Wondering whether your art will ever truly amount

To the giants that have paved the road you take

Are we secretly Shakespeares waiting for a break?

Before inspiration will strike smoother than any flux

Am i a performing creature, waiting to relax?

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
64 Reviews

Points: 4504
Reviews: 64

Tue Jun 02, 2020 6:39 pm
StarlitMind wrote a review...

Hey there!
I love your poem and your unique phrases. My favorite lines are "Moving serpentine-like, setting ablaze/ The entire witty core of a poet's soul." I also love the allusion to Shakespeare. Nice job!

I don't have much to say, but I have a couple things I'd like to point out.

"Treacherous ruby lips wispering more..."
I believe you meant "whispering" instead of "wispering"

"Seaching like a miner for a diamond in the rough"
I believe you meant "Searching" instead of "Seaching"

I also think you should separate this poem into stanzas. It makes a poem easier to read and flow better. Of course, this is just a suggestion, and you don't have to take it.

Overall, this is a lovely poem, and I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!

User avatar
5 Reviews

Points: 332
Reviews: 5

Sat May 30, 2020 3:45 pm
Scribbler20 wrote a review...

Hi Beautiful sparkle! This is Scribbler20 here for a quick review. I’m new around here, so don’t mind if my review sounds bit lousy.
First thing I love about your poem is that you started off with some strong imagery in your poem. I guess the blue flames stands for inspiration and ideas. I also like the rhythm and rhyme of the first stanza.
Secondly, I love how you pulled Hamlet into this. I love Shakespeare, and Hamlet holds a special place in my heart. Hamlet’s question if it is better to live or to die is a question of great intensity, and your imitation highlights that to be an artist is a question that holds equal significance. The overflowing ideas and the dearth and paucity of words that blocks them, the mind that keeps thinking of myriad things and the heart that feels too deeply of things far, near and those that never existed, the pain and pleasure that follows all these, holds a great intensity and significance that are worth being compared to question of life and death.
I also loved the imagery that flows after, especially the miner searching for a rough diamond. As someone who has just started writing, I have felt the same and was often faced with the same doubts and questions.
One more trivial thing,
“Wondering whether your art will ever truly amount

To the giants that have paved the road you take”
I guess the giants refers to great writers who have inspired us. Who is the correct conjunction that should have been used rather than that.
The end is bit obscure to me though I like the sound of it. I can’t understand the break thing. Somehow, I don’t feel the end fits in with the flow. But that could just be me, so don’t mind. And I made this comment only because I didn’t understand the last stanza. I want to make one more suggestion, since this poem imitates the style of Hamlet’s soliloquy, I feel it would have been better if you had brought the other opposite half too. I’m referring to the simple life of not being an artist, accepting things just as they are, worrying only about one’s worldly affairs, living a life unawares to the beauties and brutality that resides within every atom and abstract things in the Universe. But then, this is just my suggestion.
Overall, it is a good poem. Keep writing! Hoping to read more of your works.

Than you for your review.

User avatar
25 Reviews

Points: 1553
Reviews: 25

Fri May 29, 2020 10:43 pm
KahleneTenorio wrote a review...

Hi! This is Kahlene, I saw that you posted this so I wanted to do a review!

This poem is a little short so there is not a lot to review. Anyway, I love what you did here. The whole poem follows together, never dragging on. The way you added Shakespear references in here made me smile, I am a huge fan of his work. Then, again who isn't, he made a huge change in literature and in the writing industry.
I did notice that there was a tiny error, in the last stanza your I was capitalized. Not a big deal I know, but make sure you check everything before you publish.

Like I said not a lot to review here, so I'll conclude with a compliment.

Nice job! I love this poem! '^'

If I were a girl in a book, this would all be so easy.
— Jo March