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i don't know where i am

by AvantCoffee

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Points: 24
Reviews: 4

Sat Oct 26, 2019 9:42 pm
F0xTr0t wrote a review...

this is very beautiful work.

you had me hooked at "closing in closing in"

however the variation between first person and third person is a little confusing where you first reference "so you keep walking in" and then to "i sucked in between". are the readers supposed to be reading from your point of view or from our own??

This poem could be about a number of things in my opinion, the sea, depression, anxiety perhaps? Whatever the situation i feel like the readers can relate to it from lots of different perspectives!

Very great poem with even better ideas behind it!

Keep up the great writing and i look forward to reading more of your work!

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79 Reviews

Points: 1923
Reviews: 79

Fri Oct 25, 2019 5:30 am
dahlia58 wrote a review...

"I waited, and waited, to be filled." I can sense the despair and sadness in these three lines. The entire poem itself paints an image, to myself at least, of a person who's wandering in a dark, scary wood. And he or she doesn't know what they're looking for. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if this were a poem describing chronic depression.
My favorite line is "where a twig snap has no ear to hear itself." I feel that this line conveys the speaker's absolute solitude clearly, although I could be wrong.

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Points: 87
Reviews: 4

Mon Oct 21, 2019 3:32 pm
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bkk99 says...

this is absolutely beautiful.

You're going to go through tough times - that's life. But I say, "Nothing happens to you, it happens for you." See the positive in negative events.
— Joel Osteen