Link to Prologue: https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work/Aspawn/Sharp-as-Steel--Prologue-162217
thirty years later...
Annie watched the two girls play. One a human, something her plain browness revealed- brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin. The other was a young faery, with pale green skin and eyes that twinkled mischievously like impish stars. They ran around the trees, giggling their little heads off. It seemed they were playing some form of tag, where the two girls would take turns chasing each other around. She watched with a wisp of a smile on her lips.
She missed it, sometimes, that innocent age where it seemed as though nothing was wrong in the world, that age where the Fae Folk were simply another friend to play with, as natural to be around as grass or stone. But, alas, reality caught up with everyone at some point. Some earlier than others.
A cry- deep and male- blew through the wind, snapping her attention back to the present quite forcefully. "Annie, you old girl!"
She whipped around, groping for her adder stone necklace. "Ezer," she let out a breath, relaxing as she spotted the tall faery, "What brings you here? I thought you were in Evreshe."
He just winked, ruffling her dirty-blonde hair. "I was in Evreshe. Emphasis on was. But you never said you were coming to the market!"
Batting his large hands from her head, she rolled her eyes. "I always come. Did you really think I'd miss it when I literally live in Liftane?" Ezer raised his hands in surrender. "Gosh, woman," he said in a serious voice, "I think you may be suffering from a serious fae-glamour. Unless I am recalling incorrectly, you did miss it last year- the day before Beltane, no less."
Annie blushed. She had forgotten to turn her coat inside-out before leaving to the market that time, and a mischievous pixie had led her through the woods for nearly an hour before she fell into a river and came to her senses. A common risk as a human in the Land of the Ever Young. "That was a one-time incident," she insisted, "You know as much as I d- wait, what serious fae-glamour?"
"Did I say that?" he asked innocently.
She slapped him across the face. "You know just as well as I do that fae can't lie. Who's glamouring me?"
"Well, see," Ezer said in that mock-serious voice of his, "You are suffering from a glamour- just, happens to be you're also wearing that charm of yours, so you just aren't affected by it."
A high-pitched chorus of giggling, like twittering birds erupted behind them. Annie raised an eyebrow pointedly at the small group of pixies- literally small; pixies were around a handspan tall, with glittering dragonfly wings- then gave Ezer a look. He shrugged. "They dared me. I told them it wouldn't work."
Sighing, she turned and walked away.
"Wait, Annie!"
"You can join me when you learn to act your age," she called back, fighting to hide her grin but failing miserably. Dear, sweet, irritating Ezer. Their friendship has been ongoing for some fifteen years by now. Ever since that time when he, a young boy of just five years like her, strode up to her with the words "My mother said not to play with humans, but I think you're pretty."
Yes, she missed childhood.
But she had other places to be now.
Annie jogged to the market, the main road of Liftane that had colorful merchant stalls on either side, running all the way through the town. It was already decorated for Beltane, though the holiday would only be held in three weeks. Flowers in fiery reds and oranges decked the stalls, strands of golden stardust streaming down the sides like bejeweled vines. Great tongues of smokeless fires burst out at random, startling those passing by. And that wasn't even the best to come. Annie remembered her father's stories of Beltane in the human world, where they'd walk their cattle between the bonfires to protect them from spirits; his face was wistful as he recalled the sugar plums the kids would get as treats.
Fae did things a little...different.
At midnight of Beltane, the main road of Liftane would burst into golden flames, and fae, cheering their prize cattle on, would race them through the fire, and the first one to make it out would win the bet for its owner. These cattle would be marked by the flames, charming them to have the best meat and be--- for lack of a better word- unstealable. Beltane meat could easily reach twenty times the price of regular steak, and it was the only type of meat most faery would eat- though other Fae Folk aren't as discerning. It was Annie's favorite holiday, ever since she had been a kid.
But this year, she had bigger plans than Liftane.
Hurrying over to Darnonn's stall, Annie rummaged in her pocket. She had found an extra adder stone, and knew that the old leprechaun- a male pixie- was fond of collecting fae warding charms. He had a whole wall in his hut designated for them. Though why he was interested was beyond her. She just wanted to get a good trade out of it.
She could tell by Darnonn's greedy eyes that he knew she was bringing something good. "What's it today, miss?" he called out in his high-pitched voice as he landed on top of his stall, folding back his glittering beetle wings. Annie didn't say anything, simply held out the adder stone. It was a big one, almost a hand-length and nearly the same height as Darnonn, though he was tall for a leprechaun. She had heard that in the human world, pixies and leprechauns took on a human-sized form. That was a weird mental image.
"Hmmm...that's a beauty, all right. Let's see, what do I have that's worth that?" The leprechaun hopped down from his stall, and began rummaging through the back. After about twenty seconds of humming and muttering under his breath, he popped out, dragging a long, gaudy orange-and-red necklace. "Here! In honor of Beltane, miss! It's rowanberry, too!"
Annie took it uncertainly. "Um, it's a little-" she paused. "bright. Plus, I already have several rowan berry charms. Perhaps you have something a little more...useful? I've been looking to find a ride to the City of Gold," she added helpfully.
Darnonn's eyes widened, and he let out a deep- for him- laugh. "Ah! The City of Gold! You set your price high indeed, miss. Tell you what," he said, giving her a large, obvious wink, "I know this goblin- Blacktooth's the name-who's bringing a convoy to the City of Gold for Beltane. I can get you on there, if that's what you want."
"He wouldn't happen to be a redcap, is he?" Darnonn had some interesting friends.
The leprechaun squirmed. "Well...he may have had a past- hasn't murdered anyone for years by now, though- trusted wagon driver...hasn't bloodied his cap in years!"
Annie laughed. "I'm not taking my chances. But you can keep the charm." She winked. "In honor of Beltane." She thought that Darnonn actually teared up at her words, grabbing the adder stone and giving it a fond kiss right above the hole.
"My word lady! This is too great a kindness. I say-"
Annie waved away his fervent thanks, and turned to walk back home. She could already hear him telling his next customer the story.
Cost me an adder stone, and I still don't have a ride, she thought, frowning. How would she ever make it to the Golden City in time? Unless she took Darnonn upon his sketchy offer...
Almost without realizing, Annie had wandered up to her house, the iron horseshoe over the door shaking softly from the wind, as if greeting her. Her father didn't want any unwanted fae wandering in. She pushed open the small wooden door. "I'm home!"
Her father walked out from the kitchen, a large, blonde man with a weary smile. "How's the market today?"
"Fine." Annie looked around, frowning. "Where's Kennedy?"
"Out with Gisa, buying new brooms or something." Gisa was their brownie, a fae species that hold pride in housekeeping.
Annie wrinkled her nose. "He's so boring. In other news," she continued, wandering into the kitchen and poking her nose into the pantry, "I couldn't get a ride for the City of Gold in time. Unless you want me traveling with a maybe-retired redcap. Are you sure Mom can't just take me?"
Her father pursed his lips. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that...Annie, the Faery Courts? Are you really sure you want to do this?"
"Father. There's nothing to talk about," Annie said firmly, "I'm already twenty. Most young women my age have already been married off. Anyways, haven't you always wanted a higher rank?"
"All I wanted," he said, running a hand through his hair, "Is for you, Kennedy, and Ben to be safe. I don't trust those Court Fae. Not even the Seelie." Of course. Father had never trusted fae, no matter the species.
But she had ambition. Even humans could join the Seelie and Unseelie Court, the high noble court of the City of Gold, capital of Faeryland. She was going to join the Seelie Court, rise up as high as she could go, talk face to face with merchants, nobles, and kings.
And Annie Ashworthe will prove her value.
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Hello!

I really loved 'Sharp as Steel' so far (I also read the prologue) I enjoyed the mysterious vibe and how you used enough known information to make the story understandable while leaving out some of it to make the reader (us) wonder what will happen next!
I found several parts interesting, like when you described how the fae in the prologue says 'faery' instead of 'fairy', and how you hinted that humans don't play with faery at the beginning of the chapter. I also really like your writing style, and some of the techniques you used, like repeating the same sentence at the start and end of the prologue, and using Annie's full name for the first time at the beginning of the chapter.
I also really liked how you wrote the beggining of the chapter, but I didn't understand how she got into that setting - was she just walking around? - and who the two girls are - will they be important later or are they just side characters? - I think that the 'walking around' plot fits, but I also think that it would be a good idea if you included, even just shortly, the two girls in some other moment of the story? Maybe you already planned this, or maybe it's just a bad suggestion from me, if so just ignore it.
Otherwise this is a really good story and I love it all so keep going and I can't wait to read more chapters! Have a nice day
Thanks for the review! I actually didn't plan anything for the two girls; they were just supposed to be an introduction to the Fae world, but hmm... now that you mention it...
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - This takes place thirty years later, with twenty year old Annie Ashworthe, who lives with humans and the fae alike. She has a faerie friend called Ezer and must make a journey for Beltane. Surely, this journey will be alright for her, right?
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then you may.
Chocolate Bar - I like the interaction between Annie and Ezer, it feels like they’re very close friends…and uh…something else between them might be brewing…and I think that her father might be Alwin as an adult. If it is, then it makes sense that he’s wary about faeries, since he was trapped by one. The way you described the world with the fae and the humans seems so magical, I love that they all just mingle together.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a lovely first chapter to your story! I will be sure to read more when you post them and I do hope that Annie’s journey will be alright! I don’t know how safe this journey will be for her…but I’ll be sure to check it out! And now…
I wish you a fabulous day/night! ^v^
Thanks for the review! And...you guessed it! Alwin IS Annie's father! If you noticed, they both have the last name Ashworthe, as a hint.
Cool! ^v^
I agree with noridori, we have no idea what is with the fae. They seem to have taken over since Alwin's time (I read the prologue), but we only get a few facts about this one holiday and something about how they "do things differently". I do like the way you described everything. For example, the whole paragraph where Annie goes through the market is almost perfect, I can clearly picture it in in my head. I see that there aren't any more chapters posted so oh well. Overall, I'd rate this chapter an 8/10.
Have a nice day!
Thanks for the review! About the "they seem to have taken over since Alwin's time", this chapter (and future ones) actually take place in the Fae home-world, as opposed to the human world, where the prologue took place.
hmm, i have a pretty limited knowledge about the fae. i did read 'these hollow vows' by lexi ryan and had a great time, but that was a while ago by now.

though i did know they can't lie, and this piece did make me ponder a little on the logistics of that. like, if they read a fictional story out loud, would that be a lie? what if they lied in a language they didn't know, so to them it's technically just random sounds?
anyway, lets get into the review :3
i was thrilled when you told me chapter one was out, so obviously i had to go read it as soon as i could! i really liked this piece as well. we get good description of the characters, but less of the environment. you might consider sprinkling in some details of where they are, except for when you describe Beltane of course because i think you did a great job of that. poor cattle
personally, i did stumble a little over Ezer's introduction, though.
'A cry- deep and male- blew through the wind, snapping her attention back to the present quite forcefully. "Annie, you old girl!"'
this could definitely be a me-thing, but at first i thought Annie was the one calling out, which made me forget who Annie actually was for a minute. at first read i thought she was calling out to one of the girls playing.
i don't actually know all the pesky grammatical rules about this, if there are any, so i'll just try to explain my experience as simply as possible:
when the action in a paragraph comes before the dialogue instead of after (e.g. 'I huffed and he opened the door. "There's nothing there."' instead of "There's nothing there," I huffed and he opened the door) i tend to assume the person speaking is the last person mentioned. for example, you start by saying a male voice blew through the wind, but then mention Annie right before the actual dialogue, so i instinctively assumed Annie was speaking as a reaction to the voice, instead of... like, the voice being the speaker?
hope that makes sense lol
anyway, i do like Ezer and Annie's dynamic, and i hope we get to see more of him. i'm also really curious what he looks like, because he doesn't get much physical description if i'm not mistaken. this is very subjective but i'd love if you added just one or two details of his appearance.
i really only have one critique for this piece, her just giving away the adder stone felt a bit unmotivated, especially because she complains about it afterward.
i suppose it would be good for her to have Darnonn's help available just in case, but she seems very against the idea to me. and even then, couldn't she just keep the adder stone and give it to him when she actually knew she needed his services? like i said i don't know if these stones are rare or not, so take this with a grain of salt.
personally i'd recommend maybe making it a bit clearer why she actually gives away the stone, other than Darnonn really liking it, though.
anyway, that's one girl's opinion, and overall i really liked this piece. great work and thanks for sharing, i'll be looking out for more in the future!
Thank you! This was actually very helpful, and I'll try to edit it soon. About the adder stone, it was an old extra one Annie had lying around her house; adder stones aren't particularly rare. But perhaps I should have made this more clear. Again, thank you, and keep those critiques coming!