• Home

Young Writers Society

E - Everyone


by LavaBlossom, Lib

I made a bubble mountain.
On a water fountain.

The bubbles flew away,
but I still stay.

I smile as a bubble
lands on the rubble.

It goes POP!
And I drop!

And why exactly do I?
'Cause I saw a bee fly!

Is this a review?



User avatar
616 Reviews

Points: 122617
Reviews: 616

Sat Jun 01, 2019 10:29 am
View Likes
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello, I'm here with a short review for you on this lovely day, and I saw this was your first poem, so I new I had to come have a look.

Okay let's start with the review shall we?

Right so this poem, was really sweet and it gave me a flash back to my childhood. And it's really nice to no there is still poems like this so sweet, something that will make you read over it a million times.
I just adore the little story behind this poem, it just something I saw myself doing as a child.
I think your punctuation was spot on, everything was in the right place, giving this poem the best flow, making the read easy and enjoyable.
I think this would be a really good poem to read to a child before bed.
And I just love these types of poems. So I hope you will write more like it and post it on YWS soon. Have a great day or night.

your friend
Reviewing with a fiery passion.

LavaBlossom says...

Thanks for the review! I'll be posting more poems for sure. :)

FlamingPhoenix says...

That's great to hear. I'll keep an eye out for them.

User avatar
64 Reviews

Points: 733
Reviews: 64

Sun May 26, 2019 2:50 am
View Likes
Aliceinhorrorland wrote a review...

Hallo, I’m here with a short review! This poem is really pure and simple, which I like. I feel like this is some reminder that not everything is always deep, and this poem is lighthearted enough to make you smile~

I feel like you would write awesome children poems :3

Oh and the picture reminded me of spongebob for some reason XD

Annnnywayyysss~ That’ll be all from me


LavaBlossom says...

Thanks for the review! I think the reason it sounds so much like a childrens' poem is maybe because I am a child? XD I dunno. Thanks though! This means a lot to me. :)

User avatar
232 Reviews

Points: 1978
Reviews: 232

Sun May 19, 2019 8:55 pm
View Likes
LadyBug says...

This was cute and pretty lighthearted! Made me smile and I really enjoyed it.
The picture is pretty, too!

LavaBlossom says...

Thank you! :D

User avatar
455 Reviews

Points: 7578
Reviews: 455

Sun May 19, 2019 6:54 pm
View Likes
Horisun wrote a review...

What is that? Over there? It's a review on the Horisun!

This poem was really good! I love the randomness, and I finished with a smile on my face. There wasn't to much I want to point out about this, because I feel this is one of those poems that are simply perfect the way they are.
Though, I don't know, maybe someone else will come along, and nitpick this to the core. Though really, I don't see anything that needs pointing out, great job!
As always, keep writing! :D

LavaBlossom says...

Aww, thank you so much! This means the world to me!!! :D :D :D :D

Horisun says...


Most people ignore most poetry because most poetry ignores most people.
— Adrian Mitchell