Young Writers Society

Hey here to give you a review.

This poem is so adorable and cute and so sad! I enjoyed reading it greatly so much so I read it out to my little cousin to entertain her for a bit and she also loved it. In the span of 3 hours I have had to read it out 3 times to her xD

Anyways, here is the review:

Very sweet concept and although this is a story about a weed it is very relatable to real life. This is because the major theme that I identified was futility due to stigma. The weed can represent any minority group (and even majority groups) in today world, it ranges from belief to race. The stigma of the weed being a 'pest' is what causes its death hence no matter how much begging or proof of its 'innocence' its pleads are futile.

The fact that it was never asked to be one but its the way it was made is also a very touching concept which gave the poem a very realistic view.

Although the format isn't the traditional one I think it fits the poem as a whole since its a first person narrator and has a very sweet and childish feel to it. (Please don't take it the wrong way i mean this as a compliment since creating something that suits adults and children is a hard thing to do)

Keep on writing!
~RS

Hey there!

I agree with herbgirl: original idea, great choice of topic, but figure out what story you want to tell with it. Is it just "it's not my fault I'm considered in a negative light, don't hurt me"? Or can you go deeper? I disagree with herbgirl in that I think going deeper and being humorous do not have to be, and should not be, mutually exclusive. It sounds like you've got a metaphor for a good political/social message here, but it's a message we've heard before. How are you going to put it in a new light or take it to a more nuanced level? AND how are you going to tighten it up into something even funnier? You have a lot to work with there!

I'd also love to see some more "show" than "tell". More "yank", "Eugenia", etc. Specifics about the garden. What kind of weed? Dandelions? Or something more toxic?

Keep going with this, you've got a good idea!

Hello! herbgirl here for a review!
To be completely honest, and I don't mean to be rude here, I'm not sure I understand what you were trying to get at with this poem. Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful idea, very original. However, I felt the way you executed it left the piece somewhere between humorous and deep and emotional. For example, the opening line, "I'm only a lonely weed, and my roots go deep." Whoa! That could really take you somewhere, you could detail how everyone can relate to this weed at some point, how we're all lonely weeds, why the roots go deep. However, the next line, "Can you please do me a favor and not pull me out?" seems to me to take us back up to a more humorous, surface level poem. I think this more humorous theme is also contributed to by the last two lines, which seem to me to mock the weed, perhaps because of their simple rhyme.
Anyways, I suggest you pick one or the other. If you want to make the poem deeper, try adding more figurative language. Compare the weed to flowers more, or to humans. Describe the weed, physically and, I suppose, emotionally. Make the readers understand what it is to be a weed, and why it is important to understand. Wow, that sounds really funny.
If you want to make the poem funnier, remove your deeper and metaphorical comparisons. Allow the weed to make fun of itself, or the situation. Perhaps let the weed tell more about its family or predicament.
Anyways, sorry if that review seemed really harsh. You have a good idea, but I think you should work on it a little bit more.
herbgirl