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2 poems "is like" and "lonely"

by Anma


Lonely

I'm so lonely, 

Why wont you love me?

I'm Tired of searching 

For someone who ain't worth it.

Someone hold me,

I'm fallen to pieces. 

My heart is broken

But its still beaten.

Somebody be there,

Treat me like I'm something 

Even if I'm nothing.

I'm so lonely 

This ain't worken

I'm drunk on sleeping 

Hear bout nothing

See bout something 

Somebody's lonely 

Just like me



Is like

*Sadness is like a broken bridge,

It only can be fixed.


*Love is like a crashing car,
it comes quick but leaves in a hurry.

*Hatered like shattered mirror,
It ruins your imagery.

*Life is like a test,
it doesn't end tell you pass.

*Death is like an ugly sickness,
it never goes away.

*Happiness is like a piece of candy,
its good when its there but it never stays.


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138 Reviews


Points: 7915
Reviews: 138

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Sun Mar 31, 2019 3:56 pm
Liberty500 wrote a review...



Hi Anma!

Hope you’re doing well today or tonight. I’m here to give you a review. :D Let’s get right into it, now, shall we? Alright!

These were beautiful poems! My favorite one is… god, it’s so hard to choose. I like… both! <3 Anyways, There were a few mistakes here and there that I’d like to point out. So lemme start with ‘Lonely’ first okay?

Why wont you love me?

I'm Tired of searching


The first bold word needs an apostrophe… And the second one doesn’t need to be capitalized.

I'm fallen to pieces.


I’m pretty sure the bold word needs to be --> Falling or if you meant it to be without the ‘ing’ then it would’ve been: Fallin’.

But its still beaten.


The same thing here. Either it’s: Beating or beatin’.

This ain't worken


Same thing here again. Either: working or workin’.

Hear bout nothing

See bout something


The bold words are meant to be with an apostrophe in the beginning of both words.
So that’s it for ‘Lonely’. I give it an 100 out of 10. Which is great!! :D Okay, now I’ll move on to ‘Is like’. Honestly, I think I like this one better. I like how you tell your reader how different things are like different things. Extra fantastic job! Oh, just one thing:

*Hatred like shattered mirror,


The bold word is spelt wrong; it’s supposed to be like this: Hatred.

Okay, that’s it for now! Happy review day and…

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500




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27 Reviews


Points: 257
Reviews: 27

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Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:28 pm
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Morgan wrote a review...



Wow!!!


I really liked that you posted 2 poems at once here.. It gave the readers more than one thing to review, and a chance to really get themselves thinking. I really loved your first poem. What’s so funny about it, is that I could actually say it as if it were a song which was really not something that would usually happen when I would read other poems. It’s not a bad thing, it’s actually different and I like different. So good job.

Your second poem was really nice as well. I liked how you listed some things and then explained in full detail what each one was like. It was a poem of metaphors!!! Lol.

For suggestions, which aren’t that much, I think that you should.........keep on writing. Told ya there wasn’t that much. Lol. But seriously, you have the right idea for poems and your wording is really nice. I can’t wait to review more of your work.




Anma says...


Thanks so much!



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39 Reviews


Points: 861
Reviews: 39

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Fri Mar 15, 2019 10:11 pm
shieldmaiden wrote a review...



I really like your poety "Is Like". Neat comparisons - some of them sad but true. I really liked the part with the mirror. I could picture it in my head and found it very vivid. However instead of "Hates" did you mean "Hatred"? And the part about life being a test, is "tell" supposed to be "till"?
Deep stuff and very inspiring. Keep up the great work!




Anma says...


Yep, thanks!




"She doesn't even go here!"
— Damian Leigh