*** Just a note! I found this story on my computer. I remember writing this a few years ago... I was probably 12 or 13. It's not really a complete story. I'm just posting it so you can see my development over the last few years.*** -Ellie Mae
Is it possible that my soul is not actually inside of me? Is that screaming feeling my soul begging or am I just crazy?
Sometimes, I try not to go to this but, sometimes I wonder why am I here, what is the point of life? is my whole life is just pain and sorrow?
I lay awake, unable to pierce sleep. My arm burns from the feeling of the stairs, stair after stair after stair. They just sat there, they knew I was hurt, they knew I needed someone, someone to tell me I was going to be okay. From the ground I looked into their cruel eyes, staring me down like I was prey. Hope, I sat there, motionless, please I thought, just this one time can you help me. like I was trying to send them a message, a message of why is everything my fault?
Suddenly I snapped out of it, out of a glimpse of sleep. They were at it again.
“You terrible man! I did not marry you to work! Who do you think I am, I will not work as your slave”
! Oh shut up woman I am in charge here and you will do what I say!”
“ Oh look who is so tough, if you are so tough why don’t you get a real job!”
My muscles tighten as I hear a scream. My mothers scream.
“I said shut up woman!”
And with that I hear the front door slam closed. focus I say to myself. The feeling of emptiness returns, is my soul begging to leave?
My mother cries, I hear her sobbing and sobbing. I lay thinking to my self, is this my fault. All I hear is, this is your fault, or shut up! Should is go downstairs? Should I see what has happened? I decide I should, I need to do what I can.
I slowly step down the steps, step after step after step. Finally I enter the kitchen. My mother is sitting at the kitchen table with her head down, sobbing her eyes out.
“Mom” I say,” is there anything I can do to help?”
No answer. I decide to take a few steps closer. I slowly put my hand on her back to see what she will do.
“I’m really sorry for what happened to you. Please mommy what can I do to help you? What did he do to you?”
She looks up to me, our eyes meet. For a second I think she is going to give me a hug but then her eyes change, they change back to that dark, evil, and terrifying eyes.
“This is all your fault, everything is your fault, I hate you, never come into my sight again.”
Just like that she stops and slaps me, hard and firmly against the face.
“Go!” she barks.
Just like that my heart shatters, I feel shocked. It takes a minute to understand what happened. Back in my room I bury my face into my pillow, tears come. Why does she hate me so much, what did I do to her
The next morning my mother has a black eye. She didn’t even give me breakfast, straight out the door, straight to school. As I walk I feel my senses come back to me. I calm myself, inhale, out, in , out. I see all of the cars drive by, parents driving their children to school. Laughing and talking about what they are going to do on the weekend.