"In the shadows, there she is,"
said the little girl, all giggles,
pointing at the critter,
stuck in a cage for a sad show.
"Boring!" shouts the little girl,
"I thought you liked lions," mom says.
"Not anymore, lasts weeks thing.
Now they're just meh, not cool."
-
They stroll away, leaving the little lion,
taking a breath, her smile drops.
Now she's by herself,
thousands of miles from home.
-
But weirdly, it feels right,
being alone in this cramped space.
"What am I now? Same old cage,
no distractions, just me, alone."
No one to rescue,
no one knows my scars, my tears.
-
The lion stands, takes a few steps,
then crashes to the ground,
sinking into the gloomy mud,
a strange comfort, like a dark hug,
but bites like poison in her veins.
-
The little girl returns to the cage,
few words, but they sting,
"Less than me, lion,
zebras are the new cool."
The girl heads home to her comfy place,
blind to the hurt she threw,
but that night, the lion cries,
alone, hurt, and strong.
-
She sobs, but hides it well,
In a cage, but dreams of freedom.
Underneath the moon's gentle glow,
the lion's tears paint a silver stream,
whispering unheard stories of pain,
echoing in the stillness of the night.
-
Her heart, aching symphony,
plays the melody of loneliness,
as she longs for a home that never was,
and friends who only left scars.
The cage rattles with silent sobs,
yet, within, a resilient spirit stirs,
dreaming of a world beyond the bars,
where she roams free, unburdened.
-
In the quiet of the night, the lion weeps,
not just for herself but for every soul,
imprisoned, unseen, yearning for release,
a silent cry echoing in the vastness.
-
Someday I will be free.
Poetry was never my strong suit but I do enjoy reading them from time to time. I was very captivated by your words. I had this picture in my head as I read on and any type of storytelling that allows a reader to picture what’s going on, means it’s well written in my book. Very well crafted. I love the emotion that your poem is clearly trying to convey. Keep it up and I can’t wait to read more of your work.
Hello there, friend!
I would like to start off by saying poems are not my specialty and I do not claim to know what I'm talking about, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy reading them, and I have to say I did enjoy this one.
It was beautifully crafted and had an astonishing flow that made it so much fun to read. And the way you drew parallels between a lion being trapped in a cage and a girl being trapped was indescribable. And so incredible.
You also used a beautiful and refined vocabulary that worked unfathomably well with all the details and descriptions. I have to repeat, it is quite impressive and really well crafted.
The poem also has, at least in my opinion, the perfect length. It's not too short or so long that the reader loses focus, and with that engagement. And the ending did a tremendous job of rearticulating those parallels mentioned before and wrapping everything up.
Overall, this was a very good poem, and I have nothing bad to say because, like I stated before, I have almost no idea what goes into a poem or what makes it a good one. But I can say, in my unbiased opinion, that this one was pretty good, and actually better than a lot of the poems I've read.
So with all of that, I hope you continue to put out work that is just as good and maybe even better than this one. Have a great day (or night) wherever you are!
121,222 Literary Works • 654,028 Reviews
Points: 31
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