z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

I Choose To Stay

by AilahEvelynMae


(Verse 1)

When you're close, I find my peace,

You lift me up, my worries cease.

With you, I see the path ahead,

You know my flaws, but love instead.

(Chorus)

Your voice, my guide through darkest nights,

With you, I find my endless light.

In your presence, I choose to stay,

With countless reasons, day by day.

(Verse 2)

I owe my life to your boundless grace,

You rescued me from a desperate place.

When I was lost, you found me near,

In your love, I have no fear.

(Chorus)

Your voice, my guide through darkest nights,

With you, I find my endless light.

In your presence, I choose to stay,

With countless reasons, day by day.

(Bridge)

Each day with you, I learn and grow,

You mend my wounds, let love freely flow.

You discovered me when I was lost,

In your embrace, I've paid the cost.

(Chorus)

Your voice, my guide through darkest nights,

With you, I find my endless light.

In your presence, I choose to stay,

With countless reasons, day by day.

(Outro)

So here I stand, my heart is true,

Lord, I'll always choose to follow you.

Every single day, come what may,

You're the reason I won't lose my way.


Is this a review?


  

Comments


User avatar
164 Reviews

Points: 177
Reviews: 164

Donate
Tue Oct 03, 2023 7:06 pm
View Likes
AyumiGosu17 wrote a review...



Love, love, love the lyrics! I was picking up early on that this might be a Christian lyric, and the final stanza/outro confirmed it. Your use of inference/implication is very clean. Good job there! I also love that you maintain meter and scheme throughout the entire work. I'm no poet, and I'm definitely no rhymer, so high five to you!

Beautiful words. I'm looking forward to what this might sound like with music behind it. Would it be more of a Lauren Daigle or a Francesca Battistelli? Or something completely different? No matter the case, it's a really good piece.




User avatar
6 Reviews

Points: 67
Reviews: 6

Donate
Tue Oct 03, 2023 1:00 am
View Likes
luxeterna wrote a review...



Hi Ellie! Hope this review finds you well. To start off I'd just like to say that it's very inspiring to see a fellow believer dedicating their works to God (as alpaca mentioned below) so kudos to you for that! Alright, let's jump into the review.

Glows
I absolutely love the rhythm of this piece, it's an awesome AABB pattern you've got going throughout and it ties the song together making it feel very clean. It's a very redemptive song that brings the hope of God's graciousness into light, it's just really raw emotion that speaks to the reader, especially me personally wrestling with the ways of this world every day. I think my favorite part of this piece would be

You know my flaws, but love instead.
these few words just speak wonders and I love how you managed to fit such a huge concept in just a short phrase!

Grows
I'd like to start off by saying that these thoughts just depend on your preference, and really I can't offer too much constructive criticism considering that this is a very artistic piece. As much as I love the 4 line format, a thought pricked my mind and maybe adding more lines to some parts of the song (such as the bridge, or the final chorus/outro) could add some more variety and depth to it. Again, not really a huge thing, but I think really kneading this piece out could make it something super cool! As the name "bridge" implies, it's a section of the song that usually connects it to the overall conclusion of the listener/reader and really thinking about that while constructing a song makes a huge difference.

My impression
Overall, I think that this is a super well written piece! If you ever end up adding music to it I would absolutely love to have a listen. Thank you for blessing me with this read, definitely needed that reminder today! As always, take what you need and leave what you don't!
Have a blessed day/night
~Lux




User avatar
101 Reviews

Points: 10674
Reviews: 101

Donate
Mon Oct 02, 2023 1:33 pm
View Likes
alpacaboss says...



love this <3
I already knew from the lyrics that you were dedicating this to the Lord which is amazing!! As a fellow songwriter, just want to say keep doing what you do!




AilahEvelynMae says...


Thanks so much friend :)




"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss