Young Writers Society

hi Ellie its jay here to leave a review

first off Ellie all i have to say in this poem was Ellie you did a pretty good job with this poem and i also have a favorite in your poem I never believed I would fly.

Ever so softly

they raise me up

and say

"spread your wings". Ellie also you is a good poetry writer so keep up the good work Ellie


Second Ellie my compliment on your poem is how you make up these good lovely poems do you use your feelings or you write what you feel in your poems



3rd Ellie how you can improve is keep doing your best Ellie cause you making some the people proud of this site and team up and give all the best review we can give all so Ellie keep up the good effort


4th the part i didn't like in the poem was Ellie into the depths of despair yeah Ellie this was the part Ellie i didn't like in the poem


keep up the good writing by jay~

Hey There, here's my review....
Firstly your sweet poem touches the depths of dreams, ambitions and hopes that we all carry with us ....trying to convert them into reality day in and day out.....
your poem revolves around the heights of hardships that we all face in the path to success and achievement ... in your poem "flying" represents this concept with the help of strong imagery and interesting rhyming scheme ....
Your poem instils a sense of confidence and willingness to strive for challenging yet worthy risks and tasks by learning from others, falling down and getting up right after....


In a nutshell your poem has a meaning to offer that inspires!!!!

Hey There, here's my review....
Firstly your sweet poem touches the depths of dreams, ambitions and hopes that we all carry with us ....trying to convert them into reality day in and day out.....
your poem revolves around the heights of hardships that we all face in the path to success and achievement ... in your poem "flying" represents this concept with the help of strong imagery and interesting rhyming scheme ....
Your poem instils a sense of confidence and willingness to strive for challenging yet worthy risks and tasks by learning from others, falling down and getting up right after....


In a nutshell your poem has a meaning to offer that inspires!!!!

Hey There, here's my review....
Firstly your sweet poem touches the depths of dreams, ambitions and hopes that we all carry with us ....trying to convert them into reality day in and day out.....
your poem revolves around the heights of hardships that we all face in the path to success and achievement ... in your poem "flying" represents this concept with the help of strong imagery and interesting rhyming scheme ....
Your poem instils a sense of confidence and willingness to strive for challenging yet worthy risks and tasks by learning from others, falling down and getting up right after....


In a nutshell your poem has a meaning to offer that inspires!!!!

Heya, Rubes here with a review. I like to spilt my work into 4 sections: First impressions (what I think after reading once), deeper meanings (more examinations into single lines and stanzas), improvements (what I think overall can be better) and the final conclusion (what I rate the poem out of 10 and a final overview.

First Impressions: I like this; every reader can potentially relate to this in one way or another. It is a brief story line so that everyone can uniquely interpret their ideas from their lives and experiences (if that makes sense kinda?) I saw this as a story of someone being stuck, stuck down and not being able to move forward - or up shall we say - like most people around them. So you are left alone in the 'daisies' which could be something about your comfort space: daisies are a symbol of happiness and purity in my opinion.

Deeper findings/meanings:

I never believed I would fly.

Ever so softly

they raise me up

and say

"spread your wings".

I tumble and

F

A

L

L.

Until I am flying.

flying towards the sun.

Hello there!! Just wanted to say I really enjoyed your poem and it dug up certain sweet and nostalgic memories for me. So keep writing such wonderful poems<3

Pretty poem.

Hey Ellie! Incoming review!!

Wowza this was a fantastic poem. And very direct, I like direct poetry. It's a nice change from the stuff I've been reviewing this month. Let's get on with the review!

I'll start with critiques.

racing .

take the first step and try.

I tumble and

F

A

L

L.

Hello Hikari here with a review! Let's get right into it shall we?

Huh this is very unique when I first clicked on this I was expecting something to do with gal as in the season but I'm not disappointed in this being something else entirely!

I take this as someone who is afraid to do things but found a way to do it differently.

Its a great poem and I love it! Kudos ♥

Hi Ellie!

My first impression reading the poem is that the words seem filled with anticipation. The main mood throughout for me was that I felt I was waiting and waiting for something. The first few lines made me think of colours like white, blue, very light purple – ‘ethereal’ colours, so to speak, like a mid-morning sky. It also gave me the sense that the speaker was looking upwards towards the sky.

After “when I don’t know” the mood shifts somewhat towards uncertainty (though the anticipation is still there), but the speaker’s gaze seems to be directed to the ground as they run. The mood of the poem I guess is also meant to shift to sadness when the speaker ”falls” and then triumph as they rise again, but I felt like those parts were a bit vague, so the emotion conveyed to me was less intense than elsewhere in the piece.

“flying towards the sun” reminded me a bit of the Icarus myth, so I’m tempted to interpret this poem as a sort of reverse-Icarus, where the speaker is fearful of flying rather than being overeager to fly and getting themselves into trouble.

In later lines, words like “depths” made me think of darker, oceanic colours – but with a sudden switch to pale blue and gold for the “sun”.

Subject, Meaning, Narrative

Multiple read-throughs later, I’d say the story of the poem is that the speaker is afraid to fly, that they just believe they can’t even though everyone else says they can. What motivates them to really go for it though is the fear of being alone on the ground forever while others of their kind have taken to the skies. However, the first time they try, they fail, thus falling into “despair”.The next few lines are a little more ambiguous. One way I thought about it is that the speaker perhaps tries multiple times and despairs again and again until they finally succeed. Or perhaps, the speaker’s despair actively propels them to success.

Two questions I had by the end were:
1. Did the speaker manage to join their friends in the sky? Said friends didn’t make an appearance at the end, so it seems to be left uncertain.
2. Who is the ‘they’ to talks to the speaker in the beginning?

Language and Imagery

As a whole, the imagery definitely seems very nature-focused, with images like “wings” and “sun”, “ocean”, “sky”. The use of “wings” in particular made me think of angel wings (or at least pop-culture angel wings), so I imagined the speaker and company as winged humans when reading this. On a second read, though, I think they could also be birds or butterflies, especially with the line “hidden amongst the daisies” suggesting they are very small.

I thought the phrases “depths of despair” and the metaphor “ocean” used to describe tears didn’t tickle my imagination quite as much as the other images in the poem. “depths of despair” is a pretty commonly used phrase, so I can’t really attach it to a concrete visual in my mind. What kind of depth is it? The seabed? Or a dry bottomless pit? I’m not sure.

“hidden amongst the daisies” meanwhile is one of my favourite images in this piece. I’m a sucker for small-scale specific images, so this could just be my preferences talking, but I love how this evokes the image of a tiny creature of nature in contrast to the winged ones soaring way above. “daisies” just conjures up so many specific associations as opposed to, for example, just saying “flowers”. It makes me think of something really dainty and small, which I thought was appropriate for that point in the poem.

Sound and Structure

As a whole, I’d describe the structure of the poem as being ‘airy’. There are just a few words per line, and lots of enjambment, which gives the sense of there being a lot of space and room to breathe in the poem. I thought that reflected the motif of flying rather nicely.

F
A
L
L.

and say
"spread your wings".
I feel my pulse
racing .