z

Young Writers Society


12+

Dear Anne

by EllieMae


15 Letters found on the burned ruins of St. Catherine’s home for disturbed children , inside a small locked box, all addressed to Anne Cowdery between November 11 1926 and January 11 1927, but never mailed. All letters are being examined for further observation and clues.

November 11 1926

Anne,

How are you??? I haven’t seen you in forever! Please tell me how you are doing. How is your family? I’m doing so well. My mom has been working a lot, but she had enough time to stay for supper a few days ago. That was nice. Please keep me updated.

Your friend,

Sydney

November 17 1926

Hi Anne!

Yay! It is so nice to be able to talk to you again!!!!! I am so sorry about your cold. I hope that you feel better soon. Do you remember when my dad would write me those letters when I was sick? I think I showed them to you once. Anyways, I don’t have that much time to reply right now because I’ve got a session with Dr. Larson...

Talk soon!

Sydney

November 23 1926

Anne!!!!

Thank you for replying again. I’ll try to reply to you every day. Since I don’t go to school anymore I’ve got lots of time. I’ve been quite bored actually. Today was double boring. Mom was busy, so I didn’t get to see her like I usually do. Nate stopped by during his lunch break, but he could only stay for a little while since he had to return to school. There is nothing to do, except write and draw. I’ll send you one of my drawings!!

Your very bored friend,

Syd

November 25 1926

Hi Anne,

So what did you do today? I was wondering if you were going to come and see me soon? I’m allowed to see friends now. Mom and Nate and Andrew came today. Andrew was acting so annoying so I said I didn’t want to see him. Please come see me soon. I’m going a bit crazy.

-Sydney

November 26 2020

Helloooooo Anne!

Are you getting these? You took two days to reply last time. Don’t worry about it though, take your time. I really miss you. No matter what Dr. Larson says, we’re still friends. Have you talked to my dad recently?

Your BESTEST friend, Sydney

December 3 1926

Hi Anne,

Thank you so much for coming to see me yesterday!!! It was so nice to finally see each other. Hopefully we can be alone next time, and not have to deal with Dr. Larson and his annoying pen scribbling. Honestly, does that guy ever stop? It’s like he’s obsessed with everything we do and say. Oh well. I hope I can go home soon. Maybe I’ll even get to see dad again.

Syd

December 7 1926

Dearest ANNE,

Hello!I really don’t like it here, Anne. You need to help me. They are driving me crazy. Everything Dr. Larson says makes so sense at all. I know you’re there.

-Sydney

December 10 1926

Hi Anne,

So… I need to apologize for last time. Sorry if I sounded super desperate. I don't want them to think I am crazier than I already am. Everything is fine. I’m okay. Please ignore what I said last time. It’s fine. Please come visit me soon. Please talk to my dad for me. Tell him how much I miss him.

-Syd

December 12 1926

Anne,

Things are getting worse. Please help me. Dr. Larson doesn’t believe anything I say. He says you’re not real. They are trying to change what I believe. They are making me feel like I am losing my mind. I don’t even know what is real. Are you there?

Please reply,

Syd

December 19 1926

Anne,

Sorry about that. When I wrote my last letter, I was super overwhelmed after my session with Dr. Larson. I’m not going to listen to them, I know they are all liars. I wonder why they don’t believe in you? I know you’re there, because I see you and hear you.

Miss you! Come visit soon so they see you.. -Sydney

December 23 1926

Dear Anne,

Do you remember when we went sailing with my dad? Mom showed me a photo earlier today. She was crying a lot and telling me that he’s dead, but I know that’s not true. He still talks to me a lot, just like you do, Anne. I hope you can visit soon.

Sydney

December 27 1926

Hi Anne,

They are trying to change me. Dr. Larson would not let me eat until I said that you are not real. They don’t believe me. Anne, I need to do something. I just want to go home and see you and dad. I’m not allowed to have visitors anymore. Dr. Larson claims I am “possessed by an evil spirit”.

-Sydney

January 1 1927

Anne,

Things are getting quite worse now. They have been hurting me, Anne. They don’t believe anything that I say. I need to get out. I need to think of a way to escape.



January 8 1927

Dearest Anne,

I have been thinking a lot. I want to get out of here, but what I want more than anything is to hurt Dr Larson. This may be one of my last letters, but don’t worry about me. I’ll see you soon.

-Your Friend, Sydney



January 11 1927

Anne,

I have everything all sorted out. I am going to do it. I will prove once and for all that you are real. I know you’re not dead. I know dad is not dead either. I will show them that they have been wrong the entire time. What I am going to do may seem wrong, but I promise it will all work out in the end.

-Sydney

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166 Reviews

Points: 9676
Reviews: 166

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Sun Dec 27, 2020 5:07 pm
DreamyAlice wrote a review...



Hi Ailah!

Alice think it is wonderfully written and the suspense is really cool. The letter format is so unique and its impactful than writing it simply. Like Andrew said you should have slowed down a bit and when we would have realized it in the next chapters that they were all imaginary persons she was writing it would have been thrilling but you have already written it well so no need to get sad.

I am very curious to know what she will do with Dr Larson.
So please continue to write it.
I am waiting for the next chapter
Bye!!!




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178 Reviews

Points: 34
Reviews: 178

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Sun Dec 27, 2020 3:54 pm
MaybeAndrew wrote a review...



Hey, Andrew here for a review! This is a fun and interesting format, and the twist that she’s writing letters to no one is cool. As far as critiques go, I feel you could slow it down a bit and maybe be a bit less direct about their friend not being real, maybe make it something that we discover a bit more slowly and is a “discovery” and never said directly. It’s already done pretty well, but everything can be improved!
I really like the musings about the past, effectively sweet and sad. I think you could maybe even use those to help us discover the friends dead.
But into specifics!

15 Letters found on the burned ruins of St. Catherine’s home for disturbed children , inside a small locked box, all addressed to Anne Cowdery between November 11 1926 and January 11 1927, but never mailed. All letters are being examined for further observation and clues

This openings good, but I feel last sentence is not necessary. The first bit is also a kinda of a run on sentence and I would advise splitting it up for ease of reading.

How are you???

The multi question marks took me out of that. That doesn’t happen much in handwritten letters, especially letters from 1925. I feel the same way about latter multiple uses of punctuation.

I also have to agree with baranaxoy, it would be helpful if there was some more defined separation between letters.
But that’s all just my two cents! Hope it helped!

But overall I like it. The endings good where we realize she burned down the building. I actually thought her imagery friend was her sister on my first skin through XD. But I think it’s really good, but could do with a bit of a slower build.
Thanks, and keep writing,
Andrew




MaybeAndrew says...


Oh, and a late welcome to the sight!



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Points: 28
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Sat Dec 26, 2020 11:33 am
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baranaxoy wrote a review...



Hi! I hope you're enjoying your holiday.

I have read your epistolar short story and I think that it is quite good.

There are however some aspects that are bothering me:

1. It is hard to distinguish the letters, so, perhaps you could leave more space between them or put an asterisk or something like that.

2.

December 7 1926

When you give a date you have to put a coma after the number of the day : December 7, 1926.

3.
So… I need to apologize for last time. Sorry if I sounded super desperate. I don't want them to think I am crazier than I already am. Everything is fine. I’m okay. Please ignore what I said last time. It’s fine. Please come visit me soon. Please talk to my dad for me. Tell him how much I miss him.

I didn't understand why he is constantly apologizing. I mean, he "needs her help" so that makes him pretty desperate. Doesn't it?

4. When did the father die? Was he alive at the beginning?

5. Lastly, I think that you could further develop the ending bc I mean we don't know what he really does. Or maybe you could tell what happened to the institution more thouroughly, in your introduction paragraph.

Otherwise, I think that your work is genuinely good. ANd it gave me the goosebumps, while reading. :)

-Barron





I wondered why we put villains in our stories when we have plenty of them in real life; then I realized that maybe we wanted stories where the good guy wins.
— nogutsnoglory