Young Writers Society

Hey I'dratherbedrawing!

This is a really great poem, and I think you've expressed your feelings of brokenness in a beautiful manner. I like how you compare yourself to an unsolvable puzzle, smashed glass, torn-up flowers, and a distorted reflection.

I think you've misspelt "Broken pieces" as "Broken peices" in the title.

I think there's an error in this line:

with brokenieces

Hi!! I'm here to review your work!

I found your poem very interesting..

MEANING
Your poem, according to me, described how sometimes we feel 'unfixable' as you say it. Hopeless that we can't do some things and also helplessness seizes us because a puzzle cannot be complete with broken pieces. And broken is indeed what we feel. The way your poem expressed this emotional meaning was heartwarming! And I loved reading it.

LANGUAGE
The language used in this poem was incredible! The poetic devices made it so much more appealing. Those apt analogies of puzzles, glass and flower were so beautiful! Maybe you could have elaborated them a little. But its upto you, the poem is perfect even in the form it is now.

One suggestion I'd like to give is to convert the simile in metaphor for the first stanza.
What I mean is something like this

I am a delicate glass

that has been smashed

I am a pretty flower

being ripped apart

Hello! I found your poem very interesting!

I think putting the two line stanza at the end of your poem could be a way to resolve the poem since it breaks the pattern of four line stanzas.

Maybe instead of writing, "I am a bunch of tiny little things," you could write, "I am a bunch of tiny fragments." "Tiny," and, "little," are a little bit repetitive.

I also like how you used repetition through similes to communicate the message that you feel broken into multiple pieces. Unless the lines, "my soul is like a black blanket/covering the stars," have a separate significance that add to the meaning of your poem, maybe you can change it to a simile that also has to do with being broken apart.

I really like the similes that you used, especially the one about the distorted image, and the image and idea created by them. I think it is a very well written and expressive poem!

Hello, Writing! (Can I call you that, or is there something else you prefer?)

This is my favorite part:

I am unfixable/I cannot do this

with brokenieces