Young Writers Society

This was so sad and perfect. This was very in-depth and heart-breaking, but in a good way. Nice job!
-Vi

That is so sad and yet, so perfect the way you described, the detail and work you must have put in. You're really talented.
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You should read this when you're listening to Demi Lovato's- Give Your Heart A Break .

It'll make you really sad.
BUT, THIS WAS AMAZING! BEAUTIFUL. I don't think I need to express anymore, Justa dahling. <3' You have proved to be THE writer! xD

Cookie

Wow. That was simply beautiful. It reminded me a lot of my friend, who is going through some rough times of her own. In a way, I can actually feel the poem. But what I'm getting from it is mostly numbness, almost as though you had sat writing it with a blank stare and blocked mind. I don't know if that's how it's supposed to come off, but that's just what I'm getting. As I said though, it was beautiful.

That is so sad and yet, so perfect the way you described, the detail and work you must have put in, and I want you to know that, I hope you are not talking about a real person doing this and I hope that you and this piece will go very far together.

So this poem is easy enough to understand and pretty enough to entice the reader to read on. My understanding of the poem is this; there is a thunderstorm, there is a girl in the thunderstorm, and said thunderstorm reminds said girl of the "stormy" relationship she had with a boy she probably loved very much. But he was abusive. Because the speaker mentions the smell of grass, that leads me to believe that she's actually outside in the rain in this thunderstorm, probably still sad from the break up.

The part here about "When you left me, but I'd already left you, in the blank stares I'd give" means that it was this abusive boy who broke up with the girl, but basically the girl had already left him because she'd become unresponsive after all the hurt she suffered from him.

The last part describes that this hurtful boy stuck around with this girl until he'd shattered so much of her that nothing was left anymore to shatter, and he "moved on".

here though, at the very end, the speaker says "Sparkling on the ground." that immediately makes me feel hopeful. Normally, if the speaker were just giving up on love, she probably wouldn't give the feeling that where she lay in the storm was beautiful. If she was hopeless, she'd just say "lying on the ground", but no, she says sparkling. This gives me the feeling that this girl knows that even though she's been broken, she is still a beautiful human being.

Then the very last line can be taken in two ways. The speaker says "Waiting for someone to sweep me away." now this could mean that she's just lying there waiting to be swept away and thrown in the trash, but I'm led to believe that she's lying there "sparkling" if you will, waiting for her prince charming to sweep her off her feet. She's hopeful that despite being broken, her beauty and wholeness as a person will attract someone else; someone who will love her the way she deserves.

That's what I'm choosing to think anyways. I can see why this poem is so popular. Good job ^_^

-The Phantom

I liked this a lot. I'm just curious as to what rhythm or timing I should read it in? Or is it an open poem? Meant to be read like a novel, but more of a heartfelt story? Just wondering

Awesome, just awesome. Very dee, and sounded as though it came from your heart. Liked a lot.

This is really nice. I don't really have anything to add but I really enjoyed the poem!

Wow this is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G I love how you intertwined the thunderstorm with the heart break. Great work. Great passion. Thank you for writing poetry and therefore adding flavor to the world, don't stop. Keep it up

Ohh my God, it is so beautifully written!!! Congratulation for your work here, Justagirl! I just love it. Sorry if I don't have something useful to say...