Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Dramatic


Life is Fiction

by SDWebb


I woke up with her still laying next to me. "Oh, you're up" I heard her say her head still resting upon my chest. "Didn't i tell you to leave last night?" I said, begrudgingly lifting myself up,brushing her off. I'm beginning to remember what had happened last night. An overabundance of alcohol that at the thought of began to creep its way up my throat, and all the nitrous I could get my hands on. This particular girl had been the product of a half hour of sweet talking and about 15 minutes of what i would like to call a satisfying experience. We all have to get ours somehow, I just didn't care either way. About her or about my own particular skill, or what i would like to call skill. " How could you say that? Taylor, you said...","Did I? I tend to say a lot of things I don't mean, but i did mean to tell you to leave, so do so.. Now." So with a few worthless tears and the spark of the night gone, she left.

I have always wondered why and how women are so easily manipulated when they are single, but become the manipulator when they are in a dedicated relationship. This is why i tend to swear off such fallacies of the 'functioning relationship'. Every stand up comedian in the world is right in that way. Women are horrible and they try to ruin our lives, simply put, and effective. I enjoy stand up comedy, either that or brutal honesty. But laughing at everyday coincidences that somehow tie into our own lives always makes me feel better about my own current situation.

I light my first cigarette and walk outside, it's nice out, not that it matters at all. I will probably spend all day inside doing nothing as always. Though it had not always been like this, I have honestly just given up on doing anything right or wrong, trying to be nice, caring about anyone other then myself, that sort of thing. I think I'm doing well, isn't that enough?

My phone rings, it's Steel. Yes, Steel. Steel had been a friend of mine for a pretty long time now, though recently our friendship had been taking altering turns due to the fact i had slept with every girlfriend he had ever had. So i answered his call, hoping for something in a nice tone for once.

"I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!"

Shit... What did i do?," What? What did i do?"

"Last night? Beth?"

"Oh was that her name?"

Not that I cared, she was just the exploit of a good night and fun.

"Yes you bastard! Do you even care that we were trying to get back together? Did you even care for one second about your best friend?"

Now that was where he got me, because in all honesty i didn't. I hadn't even thought about it, learning her name, thinking about what i did. I just did it, that is all.

"Hello? Are you still there? Answer me!"

"I don't know dude, i was on one, i couldn't even tell or care."

" Oh fuck you , that is just like you, not to care. Go fuck yourself, and you fucking watch your back because i'm coming for you, you piece of shit."

The phone beeps and he is gone from my good graces forever. My last true friend that i could count on gone because of a few... well many mistakes.

I'm 18 years old, now suddenly I'm 6, i drop my cigarette, fall to my knees, and cry.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
2875 Reviews


Points: 301545
Reviews: 2875

Donate
Fri Dec 03, 2021 5:48 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Okayy...this is quite the opening paragraph here. I have to say, already I really don't like this protagonist and I think I don't really like where this one attempts to be headed, although that second part is just my opinion here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I woke up with her still laying next to me. "Oh, you're up" I heard her say her head still resting upon my chest. "Didn't i tell you to leave last night?" I said, begrudgingly lifting myself up,brushing her off. I'm beginning to remember what had happened last night. An overabundance of alcohol that at the thought of began to creep its way up my throat, and all the nitrous I could get my hands on. This particular girl had been the product of a half hour of sweet talking and about 15 minutes of what i would like to call a satisfying experience. We all have to get ours somehow, I just didn't care either way. About her or about my own particular skill, or what i would like to call skill. " How could you say that? Taylor, you said...","Did I? I tend to say a lot of things I don't mean, but i did mean to tell you to leave, so do so.. Now." So with a few worthless tears and the spark of the night gone, she left.


Okayy...well that about sums up this character neatly there in the first paragraph. I love how this reflects their personality and general outlook on life rather well and I think it makes for a pretty good choice of opening paragraph here for us to know exactly who we're meeting here.

I have always wondered why and how women are so easily manipulated when they are single, but become the manipulator when they are in a dedicated relationship. This is why i tend to swear off such fallacies of the 'functioning relationship'. Every stand up comedian in the world is right in that way. Women are horrible and they try to ruin our lives, simply put, and effective. I enjoy stand up comedy, either that or brutal honesty. But laughing at everyday coincidences that somehow tie into our own lives always makes me feel better about my own current situation.

I light my first cigarette and walk outside, it's nice out, not that it matters at all. I will probably spend all day inside doing nothing as always. Though it had not always been like this, I have honestly just given up on doing anything right or wrong, trying to be nice, caring about anyone other then myself, that sort of thing. I think I'm doing well, isn't that enough?


OKayy...that sounds like an opinion which is very much an acquired taste there. Definitely quite an interesting view to have on life there and it seems they are also rather set in that particular view. Now that does add to that initial personality rather strongly here.

My phone rings, it's Steel. Yes, Steel. Steel had been a friend of mine for a pretty long time now, though recently our friendship had been taking altering turns due to the fact i had slept with every girlfriend he had ever had. So i answered his call, hoping for something in a nice tone for once.

"I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!"

Shit... What did i do?," What? What did i do?"

"Last night? Beth?"

"Oh was that her name?"

Not that I cared, she was just the exploit of a good night and fun.

"Yes you bastard! Do you even care that we were trying to get back together? Did you even care for one second about your best friend?"


Well, I guess with this particular nail in this one's proverbial coffin we aren't supposed to like this character at all. So far I'm spotting no reason to actually like that but far more than a single reason to not like them, so...uhh, thinks are off to quite the start here.

"I don't know dude, i was on one, i couldn't even tell or care."

" Oh fuck you , that is just like you, not to care. Go fuck yourself, and you fucking watch your back because i'm coming for you, you piece of shit."

The phone beeps and he is gone from my good graces forever. My last true friend that i could count on gone because of a few... well many mistakes.

I'm 18 years old, now suddenly I'm 6, i drop my cigarette, fall to my knees, and cry.


OKayy...so that sounds like someone that just suddenly gets overcome by guilt seemingly having acted without really thinking for ever so long. I find this hard to buy here and if you wanted to create any sort of sympathy for this character, I have to say that completely fails, if anything, these last few lines just make us like them even less.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I think you do a great job showing someone who cares little about what they do and has now caused a ton of problems for themselves before then just collapsing and crying once their mistakes catch up to them and attempt to play the victim almost. Its not the most likeable of starts...and I don't know what this story is so far attempting to say, but the first impression isn't great.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry





"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss