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Seeing You

by Snoweary


 
© 2012 JJW All Right Reserved
I've submitted this poem on deviantArt as well. I just wanted to know what fellow YWS think about it :D
I'm aware if there are so many errors and it caused confusion to readers. Please forgive..




I see you in darkness,

It's not because I have superhuman sight.

It is just your awe-inspiring light-

Sparkling,

Glittering.
 


I see you through your masks,

It’s not their faults for revealing you.

But blame yourself for being-

Outstanding,

Not anyone but your own self.


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318 Reviews


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Fri Sep 24, 2021 11:59 am
RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey!

RandomTalks here with a short review!

I have to admit that I was a little confused when I first read this. Mostly because, I did not get what you wanted to portray through this poem, especially because the two stanzas seem to contradict themselves and do not stand to much meaning together. However, if we take them apart and view them separately, it seems to have different meanings that are beautiful in their own entirety.

I see you in darkness,

It's not because I have superhuman sight.

It is just your awe-inspiring light-

Sparkling,

Glittering.

This one seems to be in praise of someone else, someone that this person admires and respects. I like how you have formatted it, so that there is more emphasis on the adjectives and the person this is meant for understands how brilliant he/she is. Every person has this light about them that attract a similar flame in the world and it is up to them to envelop as many in their warmth as they can. I think you have portrayed that very well here.

I see you through your masks,

It’s not their faults for revealing you.

But blame yourself for being-

Outstanding,

Not anyone but your own self.

The second stanza takes on a different tone, especially with the inclusion of 'masks'. It makes me feel that there is more to this person than just their warmth and gives us the idea that there is darkness behind every light but it should not stop us from being the bet versions of ourselves that we can be.

Overall, I thought that this poem had a really beautiful message for everyone in the world. I loved that you kept it simple so that everyone can understand.

Keep writing and have a great day!




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Points: 937
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Tue Apr 03, 2012 1:19 pm
GeorginaMay wrote a review...



The first time I read this, yes, I was a little confused! But *don't* dumb it down, without the complexity of the layout and content, it wouldn't give so many meanings. I especially love the the phrases:

"But blame yourself for being-
Outstanding"

It's so original and very loving. It is genuinely a pleasure to read and really very interesting, please write more!! :D

Hope this helps :)





"The adventures I enjoy are usually of a literary nature."
— Henry Winchester