I awoke in the middle of the night with a sharp pain in the pit of my stomach.
Not again, I thought as I turned on my side and hugged my knees to my chest. The muscles in mycalves and my thighs ached. I felt like they were beginning to eat away at themselves, ripping and tearing until it hurt just to walk everyday.
The knot in my stomach was beginning to twist. It was tossing and turning, begging me for food that I refuse to give it. I began to recognize the salty taste of tears on my tongue.
I'm sotired.I'm physically and mentally tired. I'm tired ofbeing me. I'm tired of having to see all the other people in my lifebe happy, while I'm wasting my life away. I'm tired ofhaving to look in themirroreveryday and notbe happywith what I see.Sometimes I wishthat I couldjust sleep forever, because in my dreams I'm the skinniest girl you've ever seen. In mydreams,I'm happy with my life. I wishI could just sleep forever, becauselife has thetendency to fallapartwhenI'm awake.
Ihugged my knees tighter,hoping it would ease the pain in mystomach, but all that did wasdeepen the pain in my legs.It's allbecause that one stupidgirl.Since that day,I vowed to make her regretall the timesshe ever calledme "fat."
I glancedat the clock on my bedside table.12:37 AM. I realized that it wasn't thatlate at night, and it was a Friday. Most of my friends were probably at parties, enjoying their lives.I refuse to go to parties for two reasons. The first reason is thepain in my muscles,it makes it almostimpossible towalk.And secondly, I'm too fat to go out in public. Until I'mskinny, I don't want people to seemeunless it's absolutely necessary.
Before this started, I used to almost enjoy my life. I used to go shoppingwith my friends, Iused to go to parties, like anynormal teenager would. But my life changed forever when I chose not to eat.
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Note: This story isreally short, but I haven't really wrote anything in a really long time and I want to start getting back into writing again.This isn't about me, nor do I actually know anyone personally that has an eating disorder. But please say a prayer for those who do. <3