Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
I write by the light of a candle. And no, it's not because I live in the time before electricity. It's because it was the only light we could afford to show, for fear of being seen. Also the dang thing doesn't need to be included with batteries or electricity; which was a plus.
My cousin's form crossed the candle light, for the fiftieth time; making a shadow fall across my paper yet again. She continued to pace, trying to comfort the baby in her arms, while praying that he would stay silent.
Oooh, this is an interesting way to start a prologue. Quite often we see starts with things jumping either right into the action or a building sense of fear of some sort. Here we're seeing a very careful construction of a scene taking place and despite not necessarily building up tension, you can see a sort of unease in the atmosphere. The little details that you include show that this is a family going about their normal day and yet there are lots of red flags showcasing that they are stuck in some sort of dire situation, and most interestingly of all, it seems like a situation they've come to terms with and are quite used to.
Stuffy breathing of a dozen other children could be heard throughout the room; if you could even call it that. Our shelter was nothing more then four stone-cut, moldy, damp walls; roof and flooring made out of bug-infested dirt; and a lonely, broken window cut into one wall, several feet above our heads.
Gee, you say, sounds like your average Halloween, or maybe a common nightmare. It is. You see, we're the only ones left, the thirteen of us. We're the ones they're hunting, we're the ones they want.
Hmm, powerful ending there...at first we get the feeling this is a family, but now it seems to some sort of common survival shelter and they we see that it looks like this is what's left of humanity if I'm reading this currently. I've seen some go as low as one occasionally, but other than that, 13 is a really low number that can make things very interesting for a story cause at that point you barely know if there's a chance for humanity, it just seems doomed from the start. It is pretty intriguing though, despite this being perhaps not the most unique of idea, I still find myself wanting to know more about what could be happening here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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