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Prologue

by ChibiBear


Hello everyone, I've recently started planning and writing the start of a story that seems like it could become something interesting. I'm a bit worried that I don't have the skill (or patience) to make my story idea work, so I decided to post the prologue here to see that other writers think. It gets better and less angsty soon, I swear! Please critique and tell me if it's worth continuing! :D

Word count: 306

Prologue

Happiness. It is a word that is often used, but very rarely actually understood. What is this strange thing that is called happiness? There are far too many examples of it to list, and yet, there is not one example that everybody in the world could agree on. It could be as simple as receiving a gift from a friend, or it could be something like seeing a family member for the first time in many years, or even just sitting and reading your favourite book. Happiness is different for everybody.

If you asked somebody what happiness is, most people would have trouble defining the word, and end up saying something along the lines of “It means that you are happy”, but that isn’t really a decent definition of the word happiness, is it? However, if you asked them what happiness means to them, people would generally say something like: “It is something very important to me”, because finding happiness and being happy is what makes life interesting, and in the end, worth living.

So many people say that happiness is important to them, but actually just take it for granted most of the time, because really, it is those who cannot experience happiness that are able to value it the most.

But to me, the meaning of the word happiness is different, as I do not know what it means to be happy. I have never received a gift from a friend, as I do not have any friends. I have never seen a family member for the first time in many years, as I do not have any family members who care about me. I cannot even sit and read my favourite book, as I was never taught to read. These small yet significant things, like the word happiness, are entirely meaningless to me.


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Thu Dec 09, 2021 6:58 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression:

Anyway let's get right to it,

Happiness. It is a word that is often used, but very rarely actually understood. What is this strange thing that is called happiness? There are far too many examples of it to list, and yet, there is not one example that everybody in the world could agree on. It could be as simple as receiving a gift from a friend, or it could be something like seeing a family member for the first time in many years, or even just sitting and reading your favourite book. Happiness is different for everybody.


OOoh, this seems like an oddly philosophical question to start off on there. It seems like the sort of sentence you'd open a discussion like that with anyway. The answer provided there also definitely supports that not to mention it makes things very interesting for a prologue because naturally a question like that makes you wonder about its origin. At any rate, I think that's a great little opening line there, let's see where this ends up going.

If you asked somebody what happiness is, most people would have trouble defining the word, and end up saying something along the lines of “It means that you are happy”, but that isn’t really a decent definition of the word happiness, is it? However, if you asked them what happiness means to them, people would generally say something like: “It is something very important to me”, because finding happiness and being happy is what makes life interesting, and in the end, worth living.

So many people say that happiness is important to them, but actually just take it for granted most of the time, because really, it is those who cannot experience happiness that are able to value it the most.


Hmm, this one certainly circled to its main point quite fast there. My initial suspicion about where this question could originate from appears to be correct. This appears to be the musings of someone that maybe hasn't had too much happiness in recent times and is just sort of reflecting on it. It creates a lovely little mystery here. This is certainly going along in a rather interesting direction at the moment.

But to me, the meaning of the word happiness is different, as I do not know what it means to be happy. I have never received a gift from a friend, as I do not have any friends. I have never seen a family member for the first time in many years, as I do not have any family members who care about me. I cannot even sit and read my favourite book, as I was never taught to read. These small yet significant things, like the word happiness, are entirely meaningless to me.


Okay...well this is slightly different from what I was expecting, but it certainly quite a situation nonetheless. I don't quite know how this is going to play into a story because it simple describes a state this person is in with nothing about how they ended up in that state of what the future holds, but since this is a prologue, that's not too bad, I think you've generated enough mystery here to make things interesting. Overall, not a bad piece here. I think its good enough that I'd potentially read more. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall:

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:47 am
ChibiBear says...



Thanks guys, I'm going to fix up the last paragraph and repost it soon :)
This prologue was actually a part of my chapter 1 but it didn't really seem to fit so I decided to separate it, which is why there is not much information about the character yet, there's more in the first chapter ^^

Edit: Repost of the prologue, hope this is a bit better! :)

Word count: 267

Happiness, it is a word that is often used, but very rarely understood. What is this strange thing that people call happiness? There are far too many examples of it to list, and yet, there is not one example that everybody in the world could agree on. It can be as simple as receiving a gift from a friend, or it could be something like seeing a family member for the first time in many years, it could even just be sitting and reading your favourite book. Happiness is different for everyone.

If you asked somebody to define the word happiness, no doubt they would respond with something along the lines of “It means that you are happy”, but that isn’t really a decent definition of the word happiness, is it? However, if you asked them what happiness means to them, many people would say that it is something very important to them, as finding happiness and being happy is what makes life interesting, and in the end, worth living.

So many people say that happiness is important to them, but actually just take it for granted most of the time, because really, those who cannot experience happiness are the ones that able to value it the most. Those small and seemingly insignificant things that so many people just overlook are things that I had never been able to do, things that I had always wished for. To understand the feeling of being happy, and to find a new meaning of the word happiness for myself, is something that I always have, and always will strive for.



Uh oh, I just realised that I probably posted this in the wrong forum... Might take chapter 1 over to the general fiction section...




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Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:37 pm
AllyGrLxOX wrote a review...



Heaay, heaay heaay! Welcome to YWS! :D

I can say that I thoroughly enjoyed this prologue and found it intriguing!
I'm not going to nitpick your work for that's not my strongest skill... :P

However I'm not very fond of :

These small yet significant things, like the word happiness, are entirely meaningless to me.


I don't really understand the point of this sentence, I find your MC's feeling's about being happy confusing.
Is your MC okay with not knowing how to read and those other things? Or does your MC long to feel the rush and the joy of being happy?

I know I said I wasn't going to nitpick but I just must point out this sentence:
those who cannot experience happiness that are able to value it the most.


it should be:
those who cannot experience happiness are the ones that are able to value it the most.

or something along the lines of that!


Your prologue was still good, however we didn't learn much about the MC or what the story's going to be about, maybe you could add to the prologue?

Well keep up the good work! :D

~Ally~




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Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:18 pm
sodapoplunchbox wrote a review...



Hey ChibiBear, Welcome to YWS!

I think this prologue is interesting, however, I've seen this type of prologue before. Not saying that you can't use it, but I'm just giving you a heads up about the competition. So make sure when you write this piece, you set it apart from all the rest and truly make it unique.

The only critique I have is for this paragraph

But to me, the meaning of the word happiness is different, #BF00FF ">as I do not know what it means to be happy. I have never received a gift from a friend, as I do not have any friends. I have never seen a family member for the first time in many years, as I do not have any family members who care about me. I cannot even sit and read my favourite book, as I was never taught to read. These small yet significant things, like the word happiness, are entirely meaningless to me.

The part I've highlighted in purple sounds whiny to me, almost as if he/she is throwing their problems in the readers face and saying "Be sorry for me!" Because of that, I can't really sympathize with the character. Maybe if you wrote this differently it would work better!

PM me with any questions!
-SodapopLunchbox





All my life I've wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
— Jane Wagner