Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
It was mid December when I got the letter that said that my Grandfather had passed away. I was thinking how this could have happened so suddenly, he wasn’t even sick with anything. Three months pass and I get another letter from the hospital.
This letter said, Dear Mr. Perkinson, These past couple of months, we have done some investigating on your Grandfather’s death, and we have discovered that he died from a serious case of Untreated Pancreatic Cancer that spread to his brain and eventually killed him. Sorry for your Loss, MD. James Wilmington.
Okay...right off the bat I have to this feels a bit incomplete and in that sense I find it a bit hard to judge if this one works as a prologue or not. In some sense it could, but this sense of it not really ending isn't helping out too much. I don't know if this is perhaps intentional or if simply you decided to upload a partially complete piece but a second look is advised here.
Moving on from that particular issue, I think you've managed to do a pretty decent job here with what we have. There seems to be a pretty clear idea of where you want to go in terms of the story, and while the premise is nothing that will grab your attention as a reader too quickly in terms of being strange or unique, it is shocking enough that as a reader you do take notice of where this may be going.
Overall, I think you've got a pretty solid base here...and even though there isn't really all that much information here to judge where this may be going, from what I can see at the moment, it seems like this is headed towards some pretty intriguing territory here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 250888
Reviews: 4074
Donate