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The Three Crowns - Prologue

by kingolions


‘Who are we to change the destiny that has been set for us, but not to change the meaning of the way we act?’

Prologue

MASTER MIDDLE MINOR. That was printed on the sign, on the old run down show theatre. It wasn’t a huge place. More like one of those olden places where people put on shows. The sign was only a small, A4 sheet, with the name and little more on it. It wasn’t attractive, but it stood out for some odd reason. But there was something curious about it. It read:

MASTER MIDDLE MINOR

Tonight, 7:00pm

Have the experience of a life time!!!

Free entry

But that was what was weird. Free entry. Why would people, who are so desperate, and work at this run down, worthless, shabby place, do it for free? And who on earth is Master Middle Minor? Maybe this was the reason for what happened. And maybe if it wasn’t free, many lives would be saved. But it did, and James went and saw the show.

* * *

People say, when you look into your killer’s eyes, you can see your life, and all the things that you keep at heart. But after that night, when you looked into James’, all you could see was pitch black, and the tiny spark of who he used to be, struggling to break though the bindings of what he had now become. Thus was the power of Master Middle Minor.


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Sat Jan 29, 2022 12:44 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

MASTER MIDDLE MINOR. That was printed on the sign, on the old run down show theatre. It wasn’t a huge place. More like one of those olden places where people put on shows. The sign was only a small, A4 sheet, with the name and little more on it. It wasn’t attractive, but it stood out for some odd reason. But there was something curious about it. It read:


Hmm...this is interesting. First of all, we had that little question of sorts before the prologue itself was announced and it puts you mind in a certain position before you even get to this point, then we end up running into this interesting poster of sorts there. It is a little hard to judge where this piece is trying to go at the moment, but this is a decent start herre.

But that was what was weird. Free entry. Why would people, who are so desperate, and work at this run down, worthless, shabby place, do it for free? And who on earth is Master Middle Minor? Maybe this was the reason for what happened. And maybe if it wasn’t free, many lives would be saved. But it did, and James went and saw the show.


Ooooh, now there's an extra element of surprise there. We're introducing a nice touch of mystery here by this particular paragraph here since someone seems to have been drawn to what is advertised on that and it is implying whatever happened there, it wasn't anything particularly good for that person.

People say, when you look into your killer’s eyes, you can see your life, and all the things that you keep at heart. But after that night, when you looked into James’, all you could see was pitch black, and the tiny spark of who he used to be, struggling to break though the bindings of what he had now become. Thus was the power of Master Middle Minor.


Well that was quite the ending there. I didn't expect the connection between the protagonist and this other person to be something of quite this nature...well...that is certainly making things a lot more interesting to see and I am now a lot more excited to see what this height is and what they end up doing. Overall I think this is a solid prologue right here that does really pull you in as a reader.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sun May 02, 2010 2:41 am
Elinor wrote a review...



Hi!

Okay, so you have a lot happening in this prologue! We're introduced to a creepy old theater and we learn a terrifying secret about it. However, you may have good intentions, but all just seems to come out the wrong way. We don't really need to know the secret of the theater right away. In fact, that is going to kill all the suspense, intrigue, and charm the place may have had in the first couple of chapters.

There's so little characterization that you could almost do without it and leave this prologue as a suspenseful description of the theater. Maybe you could tap in a little more to the history of the place, because I doubt that it was always what it is!

Despite all that I don't like about this prologue, I think the general story does show a lot of promise! It's intriguing, and you've definitely hooked me! I'm curious to see where this story goes. Good luck revising this, and PM me if you have any questions.

-Elinor xo





Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
— Thomas Edison