Wow i forgot about this. I never finish anything. I supppose i better continue... Tomorrow. *yawn
yeag my friend says she owns all the spoof books on harry potter. Also have you heard of Charly Bone? Just like harry potter.
Please post, to critique or whatever, I have been thinking of writing this story for a long time. Just to tell you there is already a published spoof novel of Harry Potter, only the kid is a drop out.
It began a few days after bring your daughter to work day where I was solely known among my dad's employees as "So THIS is Garry's daughter" the only way to describe that is irksome.
It was on a completely unremarkable day in summer, not my birthday, not a holiday, not nothing, when I found out the most important fact of life, my life at least.
I am a witch.
Of coarse at first I did not believe it, I mean come on. A witch? What type of fool would believe that without proof? I read the letter and then showed it to my parents, my two sisters, my brother and Colin. They all laughed with the exception of my little brother, Lucian, who was too young to understand.
the letter went like this:
Dear Gabrielle McDoughna and parents,
We are pleased to except you into Jefferson's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You may not yet know it yet but you are a witch. You must have some witch or wizard in your ancestors. This is completely true. Jefferson's is a boarding school for young American witches and wizards, it is less commonly known as Thomas Jefferson's School, yes, one of our founding fathers was a wizard. School starts on the first of September. We hope to see you there, as of fact you have little choice, you must attend a school, or fear you will not get your magical powers in control. It is a public school but you must, like normal mugal's public schools pay for your supplies.
Here is a list of what you need:
(list)
A teacher will pick you up on August 14Th to take you shopping for them at Unicorn's Ally. See you soon.
Truthfully and utterably sincere,
Bruce Wallace
The letter came again and I threw it out but then it came again, and again and again. My resolution to dismiss it began to waver when came as a telegram and e-mail and phone call. The telegram was just plain weird.
One day we came home and there was graffiti on are garage saying, "YOUR A WITCH GABBY!" My dad had had enough. He called the authorities and told us to get packed because were were going to our beach house early this year. I was exited to go because I love the beach. I was excited to go, I love the beach.
Wow i forgot about this. I never finish anything. I supppose i better continue... Tomorrow. *yawn
yeag my friend says she owns all the spoof books on harry potter. Also have you heard of Charly Bone? Just like harry potter.
That is strikingly similar to this book i've read but that cool. I was just thinking the other day about asking Rowling if i could write on Sirius's adventures while on the run.
This is just an expiriment I was thinking that if it was concidered a good Idea I wuold edit and continue.
Thanks for the imput!
Harry Potter spoofs are always interesting...
One line that pretty much irked me:
'He called the authorities and told us to get packed, we were going to go to our beach house early this year. I was excited to go, I love the beach.'
Try instead: "He called the authorities and told us to get packed because were were going to our beach house early this year. I was exited to go because I love the beach."
Basic rule- if you can put two phrases separated by a comma apart and they are complete sentences, then it's probably semi-colon time. If it doesn't look or feel right to you, then it's best to dump the comma all together and put a phrase like 'and' or 'because' in place of it.
'They all laughed with the exception of my little brother, Lucian, who was too young to understand. '
This is a really cool line and I would most definitely keep it in there. There's just something about it that makes the whole piece sound a lot more mature- something I'll get to in a second.
Or a paragraph. Anyway, you're going to work really hard with this piece to really pay attention to spelling, grammar, and sentence structure. When you're writing and you've got a lot of mistakes and a lot of errors in your piece, you're going to sound like you're in kindergarten, which is not especially good when you're trying to get someone to take your work seriously. This is extremely important in a piece that's not so serious or has a theme geared toward kids, another trap that young writers fall into that makes us sound like we're six too.
I would also really work on fleshing out your sentences by (you got it) adding description. We get like this BAM! moment in like three minutes so it really draws away the surprise at finding out she's a witch. I'd try to describe a little of her past and maybe why she thought she was just a normal kid, and then vividly describe her opening the letter and reading the paragraph. It'll make your writing sound a lot more advanced if you go in-depth.
Thanks for the good read! 
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