I can't help looking at you, but when you look at me I turn away.
I feel so shy when I catch your eye,
But I can't help looking at you.
Do you feel the same?
I'm too afraid to know.
Am I falling for you, or is it just a crush?
Should I listen to my head or is my heart what I should trust?
As I look at your innocent smile and beautiful eyes
I see deep thoughts and hidden lies.
Why do I feel this way, why are words hard to say?
Maybe I'll know in time, when maybe you'll be mine.
I do not understand how the idea of love can be clichéd. With such a judgment you won't be writing at all stating that everything has been said already before. I do like the line "I feel so shy when I catch your eye": perfect rhyme! We need more creative writers at http://pimion.com for client's orders to be unique and special.
Sorry to say, but the idea is very stereotypical. Nothin new to anyone. It's cliched... ugh I hate using or hearing that word but it is. I personally didn't like all the questions in it. It's ok.
Wow, I can really relate to this poem!!! It was nice a short and sweet, and I don't think I could have done it any better....lol...we must have something in common! 
Yeah, as soon as I read this poem, I was like...hang on, that sounds like me!!!
To capitilize the 'I' or not to; that is the question your poem presents! Go with one or the other, but don't go with both. My suggestion: capitalize all 'I's.' A lower case 'I' is just way too conspicious.
I think that is a very personal piece, and thus it's hard to relate to or even review. Your describing emotions from within, and posing questions that you're trying to answer. It's a good glimpse into another soul, but it's hard to relate to.
Your rhythm (is there any?) is sporadic
Your innocent smile and beautiful eyes
Gives me a funny feeling inside
120,137 Literary Works • 648,749 Reviews
Points: 200
Reviews: 0
Donate