Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
In the beginning of the New World, there were only two creatures. Two dragons. Kalashein, Goddess of the Moon. And Morako, God of the Sun. The pair were lonely in their New World, and so they decided to create more beings to populate the lands. Humans were first. Morako gave them his fire, Kalashein gave them her understanding. Next came the Elves. To them Morako gave his love of life, Kalashein gave them her secrets. They also made other creatures. Animals for the Humans and Elves to hunt, to take care of, and to be wary of. Finally, the first Dragons were born. Morako and Kalashein gave them the task of watching over all the other creatures. When they were done, the great pair, the First Dragons, named their new world Alanmeir. Satisfied with their work, they ascended to the heavens, where they were made into constellations. But in their absence, a new power rose. A darkness that descended over all of the Dragons. A powerful enemy rose up from the depths, and the creatures of Morako and Kalashein named him Paficeit. Under his rule, the Humans and Elves were made into slaves, with the exception of those that chose to join him. While he raided and plundered the many villages that dotted the landscape, and enslaved the Dragons that he could find, or enslave and bend to his will, a small band of rebels gathered in the Forest of Yanin. This group included runaway slaves of all races, and those few Dragons that were able to escape the notice of Paficeit. As the rebels grew, so did their army. Soon a war erupted between those loyal to the new lord, and those that prayed for the day when Morako and Kalashein would come back.
Okayyy it appears we've got quite the creation story here. Now as it stands it actually does flow well and kind of work despite being without any paraphing but I would honestly still recommend for ease of reading if nothing else because this is quite a lot and it does get a little bit hard to follow as you read especially towards the middle there.
Now besides that little issue there, we've got ourselves a pretty neat little bit of a world being built here. It is a bit along the lines of most other stories out there especially in the realms of fantasy, but I think there's a decent touch of a unique bit here and there that it works out okay. At any rate, it seemed just about good enough to draw me in.
There also definitely seems to be the potential for a good story or two in here although it isn't necessarily evident which one would stem from here as of the way its written. But I think that's honestly even better because the potential is higher, and I think if you try and explore an angle besides the more tried and tested ones this one seems to be generally aiming for it could do even better but of course even among the guiderails of a sort this has laid down, there is quite a bit of potential to be had.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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