Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
I sometimes sit and gaze into the murky ravine while sitting in the dilapidated shack, riverside.
This was our secret place.
Garlands of fluffy clouds are wrapped round the gold horizon in peachy hues. The scent of evergreen pierces my nostrils and leaves them tingling, the dark trees in a cloak around me. I always ask myself why you left, I thought you would care the most about this enchanting place, even without the memories, the beauty of it makes me ache, convulse.
Well this is an interesting one. It definitely has a very melancholy sort of tone to right from the get go and its quite clear what we're hinting at there in terms of that. The whole imagery and the general sort of light feelings on display there also add to the effect and we get the sense of someone going through a bit of a loss here.
I can feel your touch now, delicate and caring, it swirls round me, brushes my skin and makes me shiver. I do not care that this is only the breeze; I relish it and close my eyes.
I take a cigarette, carefully from the packet and light it, the tip glowing amber. The drag makes me exhale everything, all the memories that leave me restless and pierce my heart. I inhale the bitter smoke, knowing that my lungs are swiftly turning black.
OKayy...well it seems we've somewhat connected some of what this person if feeling and going through at the moment through the idea of this cigarette and what's happening to it. That certainly adds an interesting extra dimension to the whole thing here, and I love the depth of the feelings you manage to convey here despite it being rather short on the surface.
I hope my heart is too, if it is I won’t get hurt again.
My cigarette is finished; I drop it on the veranda and pick a fresh one, my head facing the searing stars, shining like white fire, as I breathe in.
Here’s to new beginnings.
Hmm well with this I kind of find myself torn between thinking this has to do with the death of someone but also if this is maybe just something around heartbreak and this person losing someone they loved for a reason that's maybe not quite death. At any rate, it does make you think quite a bit there at the end. On the whole a pretty solid piece here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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