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by Elizabeth


I don’t like to chop wood, but I have to. It’s a part of my training and sometimes I wonder why training for anything but being a lumberjack would otherwise involve chopping wood. Mother and father have always had things for me to do but as soon as I turned seven a lot of things have changed. I was seven nearly eight years ago, and I never worried about chopping wood but then all-of-a-happy-sudden here I was with a mighty axe that was heavier than my wolf-dog, Knife, who was probably heavier than I was.

I would spend many an hour chopping wood for my sage, Dee-call. Dee-call is the highest form of respect that you may give a man. You may take away his money, his clothes, his food and his home but you may never take away his respect and dignity once he was given this name. Of course, he is my teacher, he is the one making me chop wood for no particular reason, only so that the entire village might bask in the warmth on those unpleasantly cold nights as the snow and wind nipped on your wooden doors. Nobody but Dee-call had a metal door which in my view was a very strange factor considering that the temperature was more or less the same each and every season.

PS. HELP ME!!! Give me ideas!


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Mon May 23, 2022 11:29 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

I don’t like to chop wood, but I have to. It’s a part of my training and sometimes I wonder why training for anything but being a lumberjack would otherwise involve chopping wood. Mother and father have always had things for me to do but as soon as I turned seven a lot of things have changed. I was seven nearly eight years ago, and I never worried about chopping wood but then all-of-a-happy-sudden here I was with a mighty axe that was heavier than my wolf-dog, Knife, who was probably heavier than I was.


Well this is an interesting start to proceedings here. We've got an intriguing backstory going on for our protagonist here. I don't quite know what to say on that one. On one hand some of these things sound crazy enough that it definitely catches our attention as readers and makes us want to know more about what's going on but at the same time you also end up going a bit overboard in a couple of places and that then results in making this break the immersion somewhat since we don't quite know the limits of this world yet either.

I
would spend many an hour chopping wood for my sage, Dee-call. Dee-call is the highest form of respect that you may give a man. You may take away his money, his clothes, his food and his home but you may never take away his respect and dignity once he was given this name. Of course, he is my teacher, he is the one making me chop wood for no particular reason, only so that the entire village might bask in the warmth on those unpleasantly cold nights as the snow and wind nipped on your wooden doors. Nobody but Dee-call had a metal door which in my view was a very strange factor considering that the temperature was more or less the same each and every season.


OKayy so we're going all in on this wood chopping things somehow and I have to say I have never seen something like that used in a context like this ever before and well the sheer uniqueness there is definitely dragging me into this story quite a bit here. I do wonder where you're trying to go with this world. Its a bit more on the odd side but I love that because it makes it that much more interesting and you have a decent start lined up here at the moment.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:58 am
Firestalker says...



This is a complement.


This is the strangest story i ever read.

Improving it would be making it longer.




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Sat Mar 26, 2005 8:41 pm
Rei wrote a review...



The lumberjack thing is kind of strange. Whenever I think of lumberjacks I think of the Monty Python bit. But that's my problem. Yours is that you're jumping into this too quickly. Do some world and character building, and a little more planning before you try writing this again.




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Thu Mar 24, 2005 6:47 am
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Elelel wrote a review...



Well, a good idea would be to say exactly what this person is being trained for. Because right now that's confusing a lot of people, and could easily be fixed. Also some of it sounded quite awkward, but that is probably just because you were stuck for ideas, as you said. I suppose the biggest question is "what is this person being trained for exactly?" if you don't know yourself, then find out because that's where any ideas are going to come from. If you do know ... then pick through it with a fine tooth comb for stated reason of ideas.
Good luck with this!




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Thu Mar 17, 2005 6:17 am
the_red_gem wrote a review...



Hmmmm.....Sounds cool. The seriousness lacked in some places only. The name should be like "the cutter of wood" or "The heavy axe" or maybe even ".....". Hang on a minute I have no more ideas. Sorry. Maybe the blurb should start with like Whoever said manual labour makes you feel good was seriously seriously wrong but thats only if you want to write the blurb in 1st person. My opion only. I may have no idea what im talking about.




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Wed Mar 16, 2005 8:15 pm
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Ego says...



of course they can! (where'd that come from?)

TBR, when are you going to get more of this story up so you can show Sam what the actual training is for? I'm sure we all want to know...




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Wed Mar 16, 2005 5:20 am
ohhewwo wrote a review...



I trained to be lumberjack one time. A :twisted: demon :twisted: lumberjack!!! It sucked.



Can doors be made of metal...?




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Fri Mar 11, 2005 3:20 am
Elizabeth says...



... It was some sort of sarcastic remark!
SAM!!!
We have gone through this 1,000 times, don't meddle in adult related affairs!

:Scolds: Now shoo: gives rock candy:




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Fri Mar 11, 2005 3:10 am
Ego says...



I'm almost positive they're not trainng to be a lumberjack Sam




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Fri Mar 11, 2005 3:09 am
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Sam says...



'Tis pretty good...although, if you're going for a serious story, you have to work at it. Training to be a lumberjack...





It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and THEN do your best.
— W. Edwards Deming