Young Writers Society

Text Version (This poem is formatted funky in Word, sorry >.> So I'll just copy and paste it here. May look different without the italics etc.)

User Manual for The Perfect Woman

Parts Included:
• 1 body, pre-measured to fit the mold.
• 1 voice, calibrated to whisper but never shout.
• 1 soul, stitched with guilt.
• 1 bag of dreams
• 2 packets of ambition

Warnings:
Fragile: prone to breaking.
Overuse may lead to cracks. Society prefers these hidden.

Instructions:
(Assembly Required)
• Begin with a girl. Add dreams, but carve them down. Keep them small enough to fit in a dollhouse, a wedding ring, or a corner office with glass walls—but never the ceiling.
• Connect the packets of ambition, but screw them in loosely. Too tight, and it will ruin the model. (Remember: confidence should smell sweet, not bitter or sharp.)

Care and Maintenance:
• Polish the smile until it blinds (A cracked grin is worse than no grin at all).
• Reapply silence daily. They like their women quiet, like the hum of a well-oiled machine.
• Hide wear and tear with makeup, concealer works wonders on dark circles and wrinkles.

Operating Conditions:
• It is crucial that the model functions flawlessly under scrutiny. Her worth is measured in stares.
• Run hot and cold as needed; don’t forget to adjust for his comfort.

Maintenance Alert*
This model requires constant upkeep. Routine adjustments may involve the occasional self-doubt recalibration. Regular affirmation patches are highly recommended to maintain a sense of worth.

My initial concern was that this would be style over substance. After all, a lot of work has clearly gone into the format for this piece. However, upon reading the substance of the poem, I can see that the style matches it rather nicely. In my case, I did not begin as a girl, and had to become one. Yet, even with that in mind, I still related heavily to this poem, the contradictory expectations of women that have existed since time immemorial. The feminist overtones render this about as subtle as a brick, but personally, subtlety is for cowards, and you don't strike me as a coward.

Hi Elektra!

Okay, this is going to be a ridiculously dumb review, but having read too many SOPs and user manuals in my life... it isn't clear who the user is in this case? Like, sometimes the manual feels like it's aimed toward society as a whole, sometimes it feels like it's what men want in a romantic relationsip, sometimes it's just what passersby may want. Like, I guess you can say that it's for all of them, except I would argue that all three of those users want different things. Similar things, maybe, but different. So, poetically speaking, I think it might be better to be more specific who your user is, since that will define what your "perfect woman" might look like in this very cynical and sarcastic poem.

So like... if the user is society as a whole, lean on the fact that women are supposed to work... but not too much... and also they need to have babies... but not too much, and they have to take care of them (constantly) and the home and everything else because they need to take care, but also they need to work and work and do it with a smile.

If the user is for a romantic relationship and you want to take the cynical approach (as you seem to be doing!), you can lean on the fact that men typically want women to assume caretaker positions, and especially take care of them... and the home... and the children... and everything else... and do it with a smile while looking pretty while not being too "crazy" while still being super sexy.

If the user is just a passerby, then you can talk about how woman are meant to be pretty and seen and not heard and smile and make everyone feel wonderful because that's what women do... they are expected to make them feel good while they get nothing in return.

Or something like this.

Anyway, I hope this helps! It's pretty late over here, so there's a chance that this review doesn't make sense... if you have any questions, just ask and I'll do my best to answer them after I have some coffee in the morning!

Hello! This piece really caught my eye, the title is very intriguing. The attention to detail is really amazing, it looks like an actual User Manual, which really adds to it. I adored the line "Add dreams, but carve them down. Keep them small enough to fit in a dollhouse, a wedding ring, or a corner office with glass walls—but never the ceiling.". I think it's a genius line and I loved it! The writing is very descriptive and I think it adds a lot. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece and I think you did a great job!

Hey there Ley! This instantly caught my attention, and I thought I'd leave a few of my thoughts!

Overall, WOW, I love this. The chosen format is familiar, bold, and unique. Perfect for an effective satire piece. Generally speaking, user manuals are written for the consumer to better understand how the product they purchased can be used to better their life. This particular manual is presumably written for the male consumer who finds himself in the possession of a vulnerable "girl" who he can manipulate and mold to fit his fantasies and desires. Chilling!

Thank you, by the way, for being so kind as to leave a text version to make copy and pasting text easier! :3 Here are a few of my thoughts/recommendations on the details!

Overuse may lead to cracks. Society prefers these hidden.

They like their women quiet, like the hum of a well-oiled machine.

Begin with a girl.

(Remember: confidence should smell sweet, not bitter or sharp.)

• It is crucial that the model functions flawlessly under scrutiny. Her worth is measured in stares.
• Run hot and cold as needed; don’t forget to adjust for his comfort.

Hi there Elektra! Atticus here with a review.

I'll start by saying that I've seen you around the site, but never encountered one of your works before! I'm glad I stumbled across this today and was able to get a glimpse into your style and the themes of your work. Starting with first impressions, I really loved the formatting here. The font matches what I would expect to see in a user's manual, which aligns with the idea behind the poem. There's some clever font colors, asterisks, bullet points, and paragraph formatting that shows careful planning and attention to detail. Those small touches show a lot of thought, as well as a lot of consideration as to what you wanted to express in this poem, so I commend you for that!

I really enjoyed the way that there were parenthetical notes added to each instruction throughout. It added a poetic note and some more elaboration to different points while also keeping the manual brief. You did an excellent job at sticking to a user's manual format while also providing enough detail, themes, and imagery to give this work the feel of a poem. That's a difficult balance to strike, and one that you did excellently.

As far as the subject of the poem, I think this is a very important topic to address through art. The overarching theme of the poem is the hyper-specific standards that women are held to. However, I also appreciate the more subtle themes that run throughout the poem - attractiveness, ambition, confidence, outspokenness, and other characteristics. Specifically, the user's manual makes it clear that women will never hit the balance that is expected for each of these qualities. The subtle way you wove each theme through and brought each to their conclusion was excellent.

The one critical note I have for you is that you seem to contradict yourself in some sense here. There are a few warnings about offering praise & affirmation to maintain the "model's" sense of self-worth, with the implication being that the model should, to run properly, have some sense of self-worth. However, at other points, it seems to be suggested that the ambition and self-worth that the "model" displays is a downside - something to be minimized and adjusted. I recognize that, societally, there's a balance that women are expected to strike - be ambitious enough to be appealing to men, but not so ambitious that it is a threat. However, I'm not sure that tension is fully realized in this poem. It seems to come across more as a contradiction rather than a tension, if that makes sense.

Another thought I wanted to throw out while I have you is to possibly conclude this poem differently, perhaps more dramatically. Something to the effect of "Remember: This model will be your greatest asset if properly maintained and cared for, but a significant detriment if maintenance suffers." Something that acknowledges the role of women in society, while also providing a more conclusive ending than what you have currently. I wouldn't say this poem is particularly lacking in a conclusive ending, but given the dramatic nature of the poem, it wouldn't hurt to end more emphatically.

Overall, this was a very enjoyable read that addressed several important societal themes and handled a heavy topic in a refreshing, lighthearted, and unique way. It was a pleasure to read and review. I hope that some of my thoughts were helpful to you as you revise and consider what may be done differently in the future. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out, and I'd be happy to clarify.

Best,
Atticus