Young Writers Society

Hey there! This is such a fun idea! I especially love that this is marked as a script when it could have been marked as a kind of poetry format. Plays throughout history have made use of poetry, from Classical Greek to Shakespeare to modern musicals. I love that you are adding to this tradition in such a fun and twenty-first century way.

I think the next step for you would be to dive into the rhythm of these lines. You do a great job with the rhyme scheme, but without consistent rhythm, the flow is not very smooth. I also find that adherence to rhythm is where many of my best uses of poetic devices comes from--being limited in syllables and stresses really pushes us to find new ways to describe things.

Another thing might be to make the individuals in this chat text more differently from each other. Maybe they have consistently different syllable counts, or different rhyme schemes, or one uses more text-speak than the others. They all read with a similar vibe now, but you could really sell them as characters (and not just as parts of a poem) by giving each person more individual style.

Overall, I agree with Wisteria. The overall message about recovery, and to some extent finding hope in community, is clear. And I would love to see this formatted through a chat simulator.

Last, if you want some inspiration for your modern-speak poetry, check out a poetry movement called New Formalism. Maybe you can find some collections at a library!

Great work!
-Vento

Hey, Kate!

I'm loving the new form of poetry! I love the concept of chatroom poetry. You've worked very hard to make this. However, the method you used to create this poem breaks the illusion a little. The spellcheck makes it clear this was written in a document. Also, sent messages are usually on the right while received messages are on the left, so two message chains on the right feel off. There are apps and websites you can use to make a fake chatroom that mimics WhatsApp or Discord, depending on the vibes you want. Such as Chat Simulator! Next time you make a poem like this (and I recommend you do!) I would suggest using a site like this.

The wording of a lot of the messages confused me, though that could just be the hour I'm writing this. A lot of the phrases confuse me such as, "It came true." What are they referring to? What came true? And "situ had an improve late" makes no sense to me.

However, I do love the message. It feels like a poem about recovery and how even in bad times, we can recover and move on. It's such a strong foundation for a poem because of its inherent beauty. Personally, my advice would be to rewrite this poem on a chat website. Define the conflict of this poem more so there's more of an impact. This poem deserves a good bottle of polish because it has so much potential. I don't want to discourage you, but I have a lot of faith in this poem. I know this can be amazing. You got this!!

Happy Writing!
Wist