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A Tale of Two

by NoOneInParticular

At the edges of space, two celestials lie
an eternal dance, their orbits intertwined,
Their love, geniune and pure, could last forever
Pluto and Charon, a pair, even in myth

Her eyes were like diamonds, sparkling like stars,
His smile radiant, almost rivaling the Sun
For millenia, it was just Him and Her,
just Them, gazing lovingly, as They circled each other.

One day, Pluto felt a tug, his curiousity piqued,
He followed the object’s (a new celestial?) gravity
to a faintly-blue celestial, much more massive than He
at some sort of gathering, of what kind, He wasn’t sure.

Suddenly, someone tapped Him on the shoulder.
Pluto jumped in fright, for the celestial
was the same faint blue one He followed,
who smiled warmly, “Welcome! Are you a new member?
I’ll get the others, they’ll be ecstatic!”

The others rushed over, and immediately
declared Him a “planet”,
(a prestigious title for celestials)
and invited Him to their “meetings”,
(whatever that entails)
Pluto, while millions of years in age,
was still young and impressionable,
buying into Their promises of
companionship, honour and recognition

It was everything He never knew
He wanted,
friends, respect
It felt like being
in an exclusive club,
only select few were in.
(forgotten at the back
of His mind,
lay Charon, having
drifted apart with time)

But good things
never last.

Terra, or Earth, leader of the Planets
kicked Him out, His orbit too eccentric
(it veered too close to Neptune’s,
that hardly counted)
Poor Pluto was demoted to “dwarf planet”,
as all His honor and pride
vanished before His eyes

Upset and feeling betrayed
travelling alone in the Kuiper Belt
He met Charon along the way
(He was initially annoyed,
but accepting)
who reminisced of the time,
when They were dancing around each other
staring into each other’s eyes
Pluto dismissed Her claims,
yet He knew it was true
the barycenter of their orbits lay
not on Him, nor Charon
(He was not a real planet.)

Pluto brushed it aside
with a casual grin on His face,
and said He was merely wandering
neglecting to mention the part
where He was looking for others
because He felt lonely.

Charon blocked His path, staring at the ground.
“Do you not miss the times, when it was just You and Me,
when We thought it’d last forever?”
Looking into Pluto’s eyes, She pleaded,
“Please, go back to dancing with Me.
Our orbits are intertwined,
We have mutual tidal lock,
I have missed Your gaze, Your radiant smile,
why should the planets matter? No matter what,
You’ll always be My dance partner,
please, come back, We’ll dance together,
like We were always meant to be.”

And at the edges of space, two celestials lie
one accepting the other’s hand, as They continued
Their eternal dance, around each other, They spun
Pluto and Charon, Their love was unbreakable.

Inspired by the Solarballs web series. Do check it out!

(I have zero experience with romantic relationships, much less writing one. I hope it’s alright?)

Is this a review?



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68 Reviews

Points: 6727
Reviews: 68

Tue Jun 11, 2024 9:20 pm
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Coffeewriter wrote a review...

Hi there friendly author! It’s Coffee, here to drop a short, refreshing out of this world review!(see what I did there, haha, sorry) T T
To begin with, I loved how this poem went and I do recall watching some random short on YouTube about Solarballs so I understand where you’re coming from! I love how elegant yet mysterious you made it sound, you turned it from emotional comedy to elegant storytelling!
In particular I loved the cliche of two lovers destined from the start to have an ill-fated relationship and come across many hurdles and obstacles. It’s interesting and you managed to keep it fresh and enjoyable as well as relatively relatable and not too jarring! Great job!
My favourite line has to beee….(ooh this is hard)….This one!

“ Do you not miss the times, when it was just You and Me,
when We thought it’d last forever? “

It hits hard, we all think the same sometimes, right? Whoever it may be about, we all have times we wish to revisit…
Overall, this is beautiful for a trial and error poem-wonderful effort!!^^
Thank you for reading and have a good day/night!

NoOneInParticular says...

Thanks for the review! Pluto has a whole character arc in the series, so the source material was quite easy to work with, though I did change the story a bit for the sake of length. I appreciate your feedback and glad you enjoyed!

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48 Reviews

Points: 3583
Reviews: 48

Tue Jun 11, 2024 6:54 pm
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TheRebel2007 wrote a review...

Hey there! Rebel here for a short review!

Haha, it happens to me too! Sometimes, I am set up on writing a work with an idea in mind and end up writing something entirely different. Now, to talk about the poem itself:

I like how you have capitalized the pronouns "He", "She", "We", "Me", "You", "They" etc. whenever you referred to Pluto and/or Charon, it was cute. I also liked the little story you weaved there - Pluto and Charon were a cute couple, they had a little riff when Earth discovered it and called it a planet and he got some taggers-on ("fake friends", if you will), then Earth decided to set Pluto as a dwarf planet because, well, Science (and the fact that Charon is almost as big as Pluto and the trans-Neptunian orbit of Pluto is full of debris), and all his fake friends left him. Then he went back, all sad, when Charon - his lover and his bestie accepted him back with open hands, like a true friend.

I liked how you anthropomorphized the planets and made a little narrative poem out of it and sprinkled its-and-bits of astrophysics and astronomical history throughout it. Well, now, I don't have a lot to criticize but - according to Greco-Roman mythology, Charon and Pluto were both male, and you could have also mentioned the other four satellites of Pluto: Nix, Hydra, Styx, and Kerberos. You could have played a bit more into the mythological origins of Pluto and Charon - with Pluto being the god of the underworld and Charon being a Psychopomp, but well, a rushed poem will only get you so far - so, it's alright.

Anyway, that's all. It was a cool read. Keep writing! :p

P.S.: This review is brought to you by Team Tortoise! :p

NoOneInParticular says...

Thanks for reviewing! I considered incorporating some mythology into the story, but I wasn%u2019t sure how to include it. Glad you enjoyed!

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39 Reviews

Points: 4284
Reviews: 39

Tue Jun 11, 2024 5:08 am
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Isbah wrote a review...

Hi!! This was a really nice poem to read. I was actually holding my breath before the last stanza to see if Pluto accepts Charon again or not :) Most of the story is told by personifying the planets, but the sixth stanza, it feels more like a personal story than the story of the planets. I guess the whole poem's about leaving the person you really belong with to go to the group of people you don't belong with, but want to belong with. And maybe it's also about trying to be socially acceptable instead of being yourself. Both of which I relate with very well.
My suggestions are to use more star imagery in the middle of the poem. I mean, you start out really strong like,

At the edges of space, two celestials lie
an eternal dance, their orbits intertwined,
Their love, geniune and pure, could last forever
Pluto and Charon, a pair, even in myth"

But after the third stanza, the poem could use more imagery that's just about stars. For example, in the second last stanza, I would like it if you spoke more about Pluto and Charon's properties and used that to describe their relationship. You've already talked about his "radiant smile" at the start, so I don't think it's a grid idea to use it again. The second thing is, I think in this poem, uniform four line stanza's would work better, but that's totally up to you.
Overall I really love the idea of the poem, and its very gripping. My favourite parts are,
Pluto brushed it aside
with a casual grin on His face,
and said He merely wandering
neglecting to mention the part
where He was looking for others
because He felt lonely.

This part and then specially how Charon then blocks his way. I love it.
Also, I don't have any experience with romantic relationships either, except in books, so that's okay.
Have a great day/night!

NoOneInParticular says...

I admit, the poem was kind of poorly planned-out, so I get the part where it could use more star-related imagery. Regarding the stanzas, I tried to give the sense of %u201Ccompleteness%u201D when they were together, but he grew doubtful after joining, so the lines grew shorter and kept running on (if that made sense?), but maybe your suggestion would work better. Thanks for taking the time to leave a review!

Wist is Ley's mind, confirmed
— WeepingWisteria