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Devil in His Eyes

by angelinamar


He could change an angel into a demon 

and a demon into an angel 

He'll only come out at night 

If you're in it for love, you ain't gonna get too far 

I wouldn't if I were you, he could really rip your world apart 

You couldn't help yourself with him

One touch and the angel in you vanished 

And there was a devil in his eyes

That intrigued me

Persuaded me 

To fall

In the pit

Of his love


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Points: 276
Reviews: 3

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Thu Apr 11, 2024 7:06 pm
cacapants45 says...



This poem was amazing! I was drawn in by the demon theme (it's a running theme in my work lol) and it didn't disapppoint at all! I love both the obvious and underlying themes at play here. Invoking the demonic aspect implies a sort of sinful, conniving, possibly wicked nature in this specific case, contrasted by the gentleness and innocence of the angel. Both showing us the "yin and yang" nature of love.

*ahem, as far as a more technical review, I have nothing much to complain about. Definitely a free-style setup, so no patterns to go wrong with. Your word choice was spot on, telling a gorgeous story and building some vivid, gorgeous imagery.

My favorite part was this, here:


One touch and the angel in you vanished

And there was a devil in his eyes


I felt like this was the perfect way to connect the "angels and demons" imagery to the theme of love and desire, and it worked SO good.

Overall, this poem was incredible, nicely done! :D




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Points: 276
Reviews: 3

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Thu Apr 11, 2024 7:06 pm
cacapants45 wrote a review...



This poem was amazing! I was drawn in by the demon theme (it's a running theme in my work lol) and it didn't disapppoint at all! I love both the obvious and underlying themes at play here. Invoking the demonic aspect implies a sort of sinful, conniving, possibly wicked nature in this specific case, contrasted by the gentleness and innocence of the angel. Both showing us the "yin and yang" nature of love.

*ahem, as far as a more technical review, I have nothing much to complain about. Definitely a free-style setup, so no patterns to go wrong with. Your word choice was spot on, telling a gorgeous story and building some vivid, gorgeous imagery.

My favorite part was this, here:


One touch and the angel in you vanished

And there was a devil in his eyes


I felt like this was the perfect way to connect the "angels and demons" imagery to the theme of love and desire, and it worked SO good.

Overall, this poem was incredible, nicely done! :D




angelinamar says...


bru go away Julie



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Points: 276
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Thu Apr 11, 2024 7:05 pm
cacapants45 says...



Image




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203 Reviews

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Tue Apr 02, 2024 8:36 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello, My Friend!

This poem was amazing! I was drawn in by the demon theme (it's a running theme in my work lol) and it didn't disapppoint at all! I love both the obvious and underlying themes at play here. Invoking the demonic aspect implies a sort of sinful, conniving, possibly wicked nature in this specific case, contrasted by the gentleness and innocence of the angel. Both showing us the "yin and yang" nature of love.

*ahem, as far as a more technical review, I have nothing much to complain about. Definitely a free-style setup, so no patterns to go wrong with. Your word choice was spot on, telling a gorgeous story and building some vivid, gorgeous imagery.

My favorite part was this, here:

One touch and the angel in you vanished

And there was a devil in his eyes


I felt like this was the perfect way to connect the "angels and demons" imagery to the theme of love and desire, and it worked SO good.

Overall, this poem was incredible, nicely done! :D

Image




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29 Reviews

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Sun Mar 31, 2024 9:28 pm
Moonlily says...



It seems my thing glitched Dont mind this.




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29 Reviews

Points: 1911
Reviews: 29

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Sun Mar 31, 2024 9:27 pm
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Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello hello first off welcome to The Young Writers Society I hope you enjoy your time here. Secondly, I do apologize if this review is short however I will try to give you some helpful feedback. For a short poem, you do well to paint a picture of the type of person this is about, honestly, it gives me the same vibe as the song " My Oh My."

Overall I do like the use of angels and demons but I feel you push it a bit more. Perhaps by using imagery Such as Lucifer, God's beloved son who fell from heaven represents the darker side of life. You then could loop in the idea he is also known as the light bringer showing how looks can be deceiving. If not I feel the story of the story of Adam and Eve could fit this, building on the idea you are playing.

keep this in mind this could just be my creative process as I do love those kinds of parallels.
All in all, keep writing, Welcome and drink water!




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Thu Mar 28, 2024 8:49 pm
angelinamar says...







Remember: the plot is nothing more than footprints left in the snow after your characters have run by on their way to incredible destinations.
— Ray Bradbury