Young Writers Society

Hey there! I really love this poem, so I thought I would stop by and leave your review! Let's jump right into it, shall we?

This poem, paints, such a clear image in my head. I imagine someone sitting on a beach, sitting in the sand while it's dark at night. They are going through a lot, and they are very sad, reflecting on their life and feeling alone. Perhaps other people walk by, but they don't see that person because it's dark. Even though no one can see them, they're still smiling, trying to look happy, even though they are not. Then they cry, but they continue to smile even through this. It seems that something very hard must've happened to them, because they were thinking a lot about moving on and not even sure how to feel right now. I love how you apply healing to losing people. It says the healing is what takes away those memories. I never thought of it that way, but that's very beautiful and profound to say. Very poetic. This poem was not overly complex, but you still use these lovely words. They are simple words, but they have the same effect, for example, "happiness and sorrows". At the end of the poem, you come to the conclusion that you were better off alone without anyone. That's a very lonely way to feel, but it makes sense to feel that way if you've been hurt really bad by other people. I'm so sorry for whatever you've gone through, but thank you so much for sharing this lovely poem. I love the organization and you're straightforward tone. You said a lot and such a short poem. Have a wonderful day and keep on writing!

Your friend,
Ellie

Hello! I read your poem and really wanted to write my thoughts on the piece. First, I want to thank you for having the courage to share your poetry online, it takes a lot to share that part of your mind with strangers who can pick it apart. I will begin with things I found favorable in my eyes before moving on to any suggestions (if I have any). Let’s begin!

→ This poem really embodies that feeling of loneliness, but a type of loneliness that feels necessary in order to protect oneself from harm of others. It’s a clear emotion portrayed from beginning to end, and is a really relatable emotion that people struggle with on knowing who to trust, or if they should even let anyone in once they are hurt.
→ The opening line

The night grew darker

Memories don't fade away
as soon as they fade away from your life.

Hey BlackMagician!! I hope you're enjoying YWS so far. ^-^
I found this to be a really interesting poem; I love that it covers the theme of loneliness, which I don't see as commonly in poetry. The sounds are also excellent, such as the long "i" sound with night/eyes/sight/life.
It's been a bit since I've reviewed poetry, so perhaps I'll break this review down using my reactions to every few lines.

The night grew darker.

I sat there all alone by myself,
nobody's hand to hold at night.

People passed me as if
I was not visible to their eyes.

The night became lonelier.

Sitting on the seashore with a smile on my face,
even though I wasn't happy.
I smiled with tears rolling down from my eyes,
seeing the beautiful sight.

Moving on is not as easy as it seems.
It is impossible to forget the memories,
whether they are happy or sad.
Memories don't fade away
as soon as they fade away from your life.

I couldn't bear the thought of losing someone I love again.
So I chose to be alone, all alone.

I shared my happiness and sorrows only with myself,
distancing myself from everyone.
It feels like a relief.

I think I am better off alone,
without anyone.

Hello, fellow author! I saw your work in the Green Room and decided to deliver a Songbird Review for you, partially inspired by the YWS S'more Method! Let’s dive right into it! (Bird-style, of course)

Sitting on the seashore with a smile on my face,
even though I wasn't happy.
I smiled with tears rolling down from my eyes,
seeing the beautiful sight.