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12+ Violence Mature Content

How The Father came to be

by vampricone6783


*This is the origin of a character of mine called “The Father”. You can check out other stories that connect to this underneath my folder titled “The Father”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*



Introduction

Zachary was far too young. Far too young for a family, far too young for love, far too young for death.

Only twenty-five, he burned to his demise.

But why, oh why, did it have to be his life?

Chapter One

Zachary woke up to the morning sun glimmering through the hazy white cotton curtains. Regina lay next to him, ginger hair splayed on the soft pillow.

He nudged her shoulder gently. Regina’s eyelids opened, bringing out her lovely tired blue eyes.

“We have to wake up Nathan and Annie. It’s a big day.” Zachary whispered.

Regina grinned, all signs of tiredness leaving her eyes, replaced with excitement.

It was Nathan’s fifth birthday, but it would be fun for everyone. All four of them would go to the carnival and make a treat out of it!

Chapter Two

THE DRIVE

Annie and Nathan were singing the backseat of car. Zachary was driving, Regina sat next to him. It had been a few hours since they ate breakfast and got ready to leave. They were headed to the carnival for Nathan’s birthday.

“Are you sure that this carnival is safe? It just opened.” Regina whispered.

“Of course it’s safe! It’s not a traveling carnival, the buildings are sturdy.” Zachary whispered back.

Why was Regina asking about it in the car? She had a whole month to talk about it with him but chose to mention it then?

Well, it would be fine. He was certain of it.

Chapter Three

Not too far from them was the looming ferris wheel. Zachary had been driving for a while, but he made it.

“We’re here! We’re here!” Nathan said happily.

Annie and Nathan squealed with joy. Regina still seemed a tad nervous, but she would change her tune once she had some fried corn dogs.

There was joy waiting for them.

Chapter Four

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Zachary and his family waited in line. He had parked the car already. All they had to do was get their tickets checked.

When it was their turn to approach the clown woman, she took their tickets and grinned at Nathan.

“Happy Birthday, little one! You’re going to have a grand time!” The clown said.

Zachary told the carnival it would be Nathan’s birthday, just to make the day more magical.

From he what saw, it worked. Nathan’s eyes lit with joy that was unmatched.

They stepped through and prepared to play.

Chapter Five

Regina’s eyes brightened at the sight of the rides. A smile that Zachary hadn’t seen in years showed through, glowing and genuine.

“Having fun?” Zachary asked.

Regina nodded excitedly.

Chapter Six

“Where would you like to go first?” Zachary asked the children. After all, they were the ones who were going to have the most fun!

“I want to go on the big swing!” Annie said, pointing the towering swing ride.

“You, Nathan?” Zachary asked.

“I want to go on the carousel.” Nathan said softly.

“Hm. Annie, you go with Mommy on the big swing and Nathan, we’ll go on the carousel together.” Zachary said.

Both children beamed at the proposal. Annie took the hand of Regina, Nathan took the hand of Zachary.

Off they went…

Chapter Seven

“Do you smell that? What is it?” Nathan asked.

They were waiting in line for the carousel. Surprisingly, it was an incredibly long line. Zachary didn’t think the carousel would have the amount of attention that it did, but perhaps he was wrong. People liked simplicity.

In the air was a strong burning smell, the scent of smoke.

“It’s food, Nathan.” Zachary said.

But it tingled his senses so. Was it really food or-

Of course it was food, what was he thinking?

Chapter Eight

After a long wait, Zachary and Nathan had made it to the carousel. Nathan took his seat at the white horse, Zachary took his seat at the calico horse.

The burning smell was growing stronger. Thick clouds of black smoke rose in the air. A few people were running to and fro, but the carousel moved on with jittery pipe organ music.

Zachary watched with growing fear as more people began to run.

What’s going on? He thought anxiously.

Chapter Nine

“Stop the ride! Stop!” Zachary cried out. The entire carnival was being covered with smoke, more people began to scream and run.

Yet the carousel persisted with its screeching pipe organ music, accompanied by the screams of those on the ride.

Why didn’t they stop the ride? Why it keep spinning? Could they not hear him? Did he have to shout louder?

Zachary coughed, his went blurry with tears.

Would anyone listen?

Chapter Ten

Zachary was lost in the smoke. He could not find Nathan, Annie, or Regina. He couldn’t find anyone.

All he heard was the crackling flames and the anguished screams. At first, Zachary thought that he was in Hell, but something inside told him that he was still in Earth.

When would the smoke clear?

Chapter Eleven

He was starting to see something other than the smoke. A bit of land. A few dead bodies, but not his family.

Wait…no…could it be…lying together…

Zachary needed to get a closer look.

Chapter Twelve

Everything was clear. No smoke lingered. Lying huddled together was him, Nathan, and Annie. A family of three, eyes closed as if sleeping, soft skin burned.

Zachary screamed, but it came out more as a deafening, despairing, demonic howl from the ether.

They were all dead.

Chapter Thirteen

All around him were the cries of souls and the cries of people, in shock, petrified to a state of terror unknown to them. Regina sat next to their bodies, heaving great, broken sobs.

There were whispers of it being a “freak accident”, a “mistake”, but how could such a thing happen? How could anyone be so careless?

Zachary thought back to Regina’s worry about going to the carnival. About it being too dangerous.

She was right. If we hadn’t gone, we would all be still alive. Zachary thought to himself.

Why…why didn’t he just listen?

Chapter Fourteen

“Nathan? Annie? Where are you?” Zachary called out. If they were all dead, then surely, his children would be around, yes?

No response.

“Nathan?! Annie?! Can you hear me?!” Zachary shouted.

There was nothing. He heard many voices, saw many families, both living and dead, but not his own children.

His heart raced faster as he ran throughout the carnival, calling their names and hearing nothing in return. Were they in Heaven? Hell? No, they were only children. They would never go to Hell.

But did that mean he was…alone?!

Chapter Fifteen

No, he didn’t have to be alone. There were other kids in the world. Lost kids, lonely kids.

Zachary could take them as his own, could care for them as his own.

Yes, that was a plan.

Chapter Sixteen

Electric pain shot through his body, twisting and turning his hands up to the Heavens.

Pale fingers contorted into jagged black claws. His body grew, grew to the height of seven feet tall.

Zachary screamed a second demonic howl.

Was it his destiny to be a monster?

Chapter Seventeen

Zachary crawled on the boiling cement ground, away from the sorrow, away from the burning. No one could see him. No one would notice.

There were children crying out, children in need, children alone. He could hear all of their pitiful souls, shivering in their husks of bodies.

The children were his calling.

Chapter Eighteen

Zachary crawled even faster, heart pumping rapidly in his veins.

He hungered for blood, he hungered for flesh. He needed life, to feel the pulse of another being, to taste years being taken away.

The children’s cries were getting more desperate, more sorrow-tinged.

Chapter Nineteen

But what would he be? He couldn’t let the children call him Zachary, that was his first name. He couldn’t let them call him “Dad” or “Daddy”, because that was for Nathan and Annie.

What about…The Father? He was their caretaker, but he wasn’t their father. He was a guardian, a friend.

He was The Father.

Chapter Twenty

He had crawled for what seemed like forever, but finally, The Father had made it.

Right in front of him was a small blue house. In one of the rooms was a distraught child, a child who still thought of their parents. He sensed that she lived with grandparents, that her parents were taken from her.

Don’t cry anymore, I’m here. The Father thought as he approached the house.

Epilogue

The Father had taken in a young girl by the name of “Kali” in his arms. Did she cry? A little, but he made her tears go away.

He waits in the corner of dreams, at the edge of minds. He wants love, he wants children.

His heart breaks a little bit more with each day that passes. With each day that he doesn’t find Nathan and Annie.

Where did they go, those poor children?

Where?


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Wed Jun 12, 2024 9:37 pm
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Plume wrote a review...



Hey there! Plume here, with a review!

I can't say I've read any of your stories starring The Father, but after reading this one, I might go back and read some of them! I found myself really liking this origin tale, and would be interested in reading more about Zachary/The Father.

I think the idea of The Father is super creative; it felt like a very believable urban legend. It reminded me just a bit of La Llorona just because of the connection to children. For such a short work, I think you managed to create a pretty good example of a tragic hero, which gave the story complexity and made it all the more enjoyable to read.

There were a few parts I thought could use a little more explanation; we never get the information as to why the fire is officially started. We also don't really learn why he becomes a monster after death; it's somewhat implied that his longing for his children turns him into that, but I feel like it could be clearer that that's the reason why. Since it's the origin story, I feel like you can afford to be more blunt here than you would otherwise.

I also found that the chapter sections felt unnecessary to me; I think the story would have flowed just as well (if not better) without them.

Overall: nice work! I liked this origin story a lot, and might go back to read the others! Until next time!




vampricone6783 says...


The fire was a freak accident.

You can read the other stories underneath my folder titled %u201CThe Father%u201D.

Glad you enjoyed!



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Tue Jun 11, 2024 4:54 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!


First Impression

Well this was quite a sad tale. I was intriguing from the beginning about what happened to the father and the further we go, the worse it seems what actually happened there, and well it is quite the transformation.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

Zachary was far too young. Far too young for a family, far too young for love, far too young for death.

Only twenty-five, he burned to his demise.

But why, oh why, did it have to be his life?


Well that's quite the moment to end on here. Oh dear. Looks like this one's starting with a proclamation of all the evil that's about to befall this poor man and it's going to be one of those unstoppable ones.

Zachary woke up to the morning sun glimmering through the hazy white cotton curtains. Regina lay next to him, ginger hair splayed on the soft pillow.

He nudged her shoulder gently. Regina’s eyelids opened, bringing out her lovely tired blue eyes.

“We have to wake up Nathan and Annie. It’s a big day.” Zachary whispered.

Regina grinned, all signs of tiredness leaving her eyes, replaced with excitement.

It was Nathan’s fifth birthday, but it would be fun for everyone. All four of them would go to the carnival and make a treat out of it!


Oooh well we'll see how this plays out. Well I am familiar with some sections of this having read Annie's recounting of the incident but I'm sure things will be much different sounding from Zach's perspective here.

Annie and Nathan were singing the backseat of car. Zachary was driving, Regina sat next to him. It had been a few hours since they ate breakfast and got ready to leave. They were headed to the carnival for Nathan’s birthday.

“Are you sure that this carnival is safe? It just opened.” Regina whispered.

“Of course it’s safe! It’s not a traveling carnival, the buildings are sturdy.” Zachary whispered back.

Why was Regina asking about it in the car? She had a whole month to talk about it with him but chose to mention it then?

Well, it would be fine. He was certain of it.


Well he probably should have considered that one just a little bit. I don't think the previous story revealed that it was a new carnival but that definitely ups the likelihood of how something could go so badly wrong.

Not too far from them was the looming ferris wheel. Zachary had been driving for a while, but he made it.

“We’re here! We’re here!” Nathan said happily.

Annie and Nathan squealed with joy. Regina still seemed a tad nervous, but she would change her tune once she had some fried corn dogs.

There was joy waiting for them.


Well this is off to a happy start as it were from the looks of things, but its good to see that the nervousness was there from the start and Zach was mostly trying to ignore it.

Zachary and his family waited in line. He had parked the car already. All they had to do was get their tickets checked.

When it was their turn to approach the clown woman, she took their tickets and grinned at Nathan.

“Happy Birthday, little one! You’re going to have a grand time!” The clown said.

Zachary told the carnival it would be Nathan’s birthday, just to make the day more magical.

From he what saw, it worked. Nathan’s eyes lit with joy that was unmatched.

They stepped through and prepared to play.


WEll this is sweet so far, Zach really trying to make this a happy and magical day for his children and its really going very well, but you can certainly also see the little dark cloud floating over everything here.

Regina’s eyes brightened at the sight of the rides. A smile that Zachary hadn’t seen in years showed through, glowing and genuine.

“Having fun?” Zachary asked.

Regina nodded excitedly.

“Where would you like to go first?” Zachary asked the children. After all, they were the ones who were going to have the most fun!

“I want to go on the big swing!” Annie said, pointing the towering swing ride.

“You, Nathan?” Zachary asked.

“I want to go on the carousel.” Nathan said softly.

“Hm. Annie, you go with Mommy on the big swing and Nathan, we’ll go on the carousel together.” Zachary said.

Both children beamed at the proposal. Annie took the hand of Regina, Nathan took the hand of Zachary.

Off they went…


Well there comes that little moment of them separating, it'll be very interesting to see how the fire looks for someone that wasn't actually on that particular ride and what it did to the rest of the carnival.

“Do you smell that? What is it?” Nathan asked.

They were waiting in line for the carousel. Surprisingly, it was an incredibly long line. Zachary didn’t think the carousel would have the amount of attention that it did, but perhaps he was wrong. People liked simplicity.

In the air was a strong burning smell, the scent of smoke.

“It’s food, Nathan.” Zachary said.

But it tingled his senses so. Was it really food or-

Of course it was food, what was he thinking?


Well looks like Zach here was really turning down a lot of bad signals that he good. He was just much too determined for everyone to have a good day that he completely seems to have forgotten to have a safe day.

After a long wait, Zachary and Nathan had made it to the carousel. Nathan took his seat at the white horse, Zachary took his seat at the calico horse.

The burning smell was growing stronger. Thick clouds of black smoke rose in the air. A few people were running to and fro, but the carousel moved on with jittery pipe organ music.

Zachary watched with growing fear as more people began to run.

What’s going on? He thought anxiously.


Ooh here we go, looks like Zach finally can't ignore all the signs and has to come to the conclusion that something has in fact gone terribly wrong and he is going to have to do something about that particular problem.

“Stop the ride! Stop!” Zachary cried out. The entire carnival was being covered with smoke, more people began to scream and run.

Yet the carousel persisted with its screeching pipe organ music, accompanied by the screams of those on the ride.

Why didn’t they stop the ride? Why it keep spinning? Could they not hear him? Did he have to shout louder?

Zachary coughed, his went blurry with tears.

Would anyone listen?


Oh dear poor Zach is trying his best now finally knowing that something is off but it seems no one's ready to listen. That carnival really looks like something went very horribly wrong for this level of carnage to occur with no one to stop the rides.

Zachary was lost in the smoke. He could not find Nathan, Annie, or Regina. He couldn’t find anyone.

All he heard was the crackling flames and the anguished screams. At first, Zachary thought that he was in Hell, but something inside told him that he was still in Earth.

When would the smoke clear?

He was starting to see something other than the smoke. A bit of land. A few dead bodies, but not his family.

Wait…no…could it be…lying together…

Zachary needed to get a closer look.


Oooh well we're starting to see what happened Zach here. That was the biggest mystery from the end of the previous one, so this will be quite an interesting reveal here.

Everything was clear. No smoke lingered. Lying huddled together was him, Nathan, and Annie. A family of three, eyes closed as if sleeping, soft skin burned.

Zachary screamed, but it came out more as a deafening, despairing, demonic howl from the ether.

They were all dead.


Oh dear that does not seem good at all, and its very interesting that this does confirm Regina surviving and the three of them dying and it seems even here Zach is lost in his own thing. We'll see what actually becomes of him soon I'm sure.

All around him were the cries of souls and the cries of people, in shock, petrified to a state of terror unknown to them. Regina sat next to their bodies, heaving great, broken sobs.

There were whispers of it being a “freak accident”, a “mistake”, but how could such a thing happen? How could anyone be so careless?

Zachary thought back to Regina’s worry about going to the carnival. About it being too dangerous.

She was right. If we hadn’t gone, we would all be still alive. Zachary thought to himself.

Why…why didn’t he just listen?


AHh well here comes that guilt crashing in cause Zach here does in fact know if he'd paid a bit more attention to all the red flags that came his way things could be better in this moment.

“Nathan? Annie? Where are you?” Zachary called out. If they were all dead, then surely, his children would be around, yes?

No response.

“Nathan?! Annie?! Can you hear me?!” Zachary shouted.

There was nothing. He heard many voices, saw many families, both living and dead, but not his own children.

His heart raced faster as he ran throughout the carnival, calling their names and hearing nothing in return. Were they in Heaven? Hell? No, they were only children. They would never go to Hell.

But did that mean he was…alone?!


Ooh well this is making for a very intriguing moment, I didn't think the difference was going to come down to just Heaven and Hell in the moment but that does make for a very intriguing little moment in terms of what Zach thinks of himself and what the kids were thinking.

No, he didn’t have to be alone. There were other kids in the world. Lost kids, lonely kids.

Zachary could take them as his own, could care for them as his own.

Yes, that was a plan.

Electric pain shot through his body, twisting and turning his hands up to the Heavens.

Pale fingers contorted into jagged black claws. His body grew, grew to the height of seven feet tall.

Zachary screamed a second demonic howl.

Was it his destiny to be a monster?


Oh dear well yup looks like all that guilt succeeded in sending him to heaven here and it seems as an extra punishment he's also turning into a monster probably driven by his very own guilt from the looks of things.

Zachary crawled on the boiling cement ground, away from the sorrow, away from the burning. No one could see him. No one would notice.

There were children crying out, children in need, children alone. He could hear all of their pitiful souls, shivering in their husks of bodies.

The children were his calling.

Zachary crawled even faster, heart pumping rapidly in his veins.

He hungered for blood, he hungered for flesh. He needed life, to feel the pulse of another being, to taste years being taken away.

The children’s cries were getting more desperate, more sorrow-tinged.


Oh dear that does not look good at all. Looks like he really went in full monster there, and he's slowly starting to lose sight of he is. This is quite a sad fate for someone just trying to be a good father.

But what would he be? He couldn’t let the children call him Zachary, that was his first name. He couldn’t let them call him “Dad” or “Daddy”, because that was for Nathan and Annie.

What about…The Father? He was their caretaker, but he wasn’t their father. He was a guardian, a friend.

He was The Father.

He had crawled for what seemed like forever, but finally, The Father had made it.

Right in front of him was a small blue house. In one of the rooms was a distraught child, a child who still thought of their parents. He sensed that she lived with grandparents, that her parents were taken from her.

Don’t cry anymore, I’m here. The Father thought as he approached the house.


Well that looks like the most terrifying evolution possible there although we do have to see if he really gives in fully to his urges and turns evil or if he just wanders around sadly trying to find his children that he can never find.

The Father had taken in a young girl by the name of “Kali” in his arms. Did she cry? A little, but he made her tears go away.

He waits in the corner of dreams, at the edge of minds. He wants love, he wants children.

His heart breaks a little bit more with each day that passes. With each day that he doesn’t find Nathan and Annie.

Where did they go, those poor children?

Where?


Ooh looks like we did go with that second option there, I honestly wasn't expecting that, I thought we'd have a more sinister conclusion, but this does make for a sadder ending here and just well shows just how unlikely it is that the Father will find his children.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall a very powerful tale, it was really quite exciting from Annie's perspectives but I think this little origin story really highlights it in a different light of someone who was a bit more aware of how it took place and the ending is just devastating there.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate


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The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening