Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

Quite an intriguing piece this one I think. You really do a great bringing up a fun couple of moments there, and a few really interesting characters. The dynamic of this world also has quite a few fun moments to it.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

[qote]"Good morning everyone! Today's morning game is Tic-Tac-Toe!" A voice rang out. "You all know the consequences of losing!"

"Why must we do this? For us to suffer?" A 20-something blonde boy in some sort of... prison outfit? piped up.

The man in the checkered suit and white heels turned around. His rook-shaped earrings looked as if they were made of porcelain. When he heard this question he stopped and thought about it.[/quote]

Oh dear. Love this opening already because the whole vibe of this game themed scenario is already so intriguing. The world that can be formed with rules like this is genuinely not something I've seen before. So very captivating little opening right here.

"Well dearest Checkers, I believe that you'd have to play a game to get an answer to this."

"I am not playing another one of your twisted games!

"Why not? I find that I've suffered enough for them not to be called twisted!"

"You have not suffered like you've made us suffer.

"Oh dear. The Rook may be in pairs, but is stronger alone."

Ahh the rules of this world are honestly beautiful. Its not the easiest thing to try ad make full sense of it but I sense that's almost the intention, this one person's trying to play mind games with the other to avoid being put back in prison perhaps and we just have the most randomly profound lines being dropped.

"What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry about that. Just know that Scrabble is for Two and Chess is for Three."

The man in heels walked away, each step making a clicking noise as he moved forward. A trail of tears followed him. Maybe he wasn't as cynical as they thought. Maybe he had a reason.

Ooh well looks like the little gambit (see what I did there) to escape didn't quite end up working although we have left ourselves an impact there on our other character with that little note towards the end.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall I think you've gone and done a pretty good job there. Its not the easiest plot in the world to understand but I think I've understand what went down there and it really does make you want a little more of this world. Its just so intriguing.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate

Salutations, curious mind!

Rinisha here, ready to dive into the pages of this intriguing story. 📚!

Buckle up, 'cause we're diving into my review magic! ✨

The Good Stuff:

First of all, let's talk about the parts that really rocked!

I think this is a very neat concept! I would definitely recommend you to continue this if that is your wish.
The idea of the prisoners having to play games in order to judge their punishment is a great idea.

Because this is a short start with starting characters, I can't really give too much critique on them. I do think this story has the potential to become something great.

Areas to Improve:✒️

Over here I would suggest you give some more details about the setting from where the voice is coming from.
E.g. A voice rang out from the speaker which was placed in the high corner of the big hall. There weren't a lot of things in the room which caused the voice to echo all the way in the tiniest corner.

"Good morning everyone! Today's morning game is Tic-Tac-Toe!" A voice rang out. "You all know the consequences of losing!"

~~~

Over here perhaps you can give some more details (descriptions) about how he thought about it. I know it can sound weird, but e.g. The man turned up his brows and scratched his head thinking, “Did it actually make sense?”

The man in the checkered suit and white heels turned around. His rook-shaped earrings looked as if they were made of porcelain. When he heard this question he stopped and thought about it.

~~~

Some nitpicks: You forgot some of the closing quotation marks:

"I am not playing another one of your twisted games!
"Why not? I find that I've suffered enough for them not to be called twisted!"
"You have not suffered like you've made us suffer.
"Oh dear. The Rook may be in pairs, but is stronger alon

Nailed It!💐

Your title is just the best! (I think you can remove the point at the end) You chose a specific title and a very bold one, that was one of the reasons I clicked on this work. Your title summarises your work in a couple of words.

Though Scrabble is for Two, and Chess is for Three.

Overall Feelings:

This is definitely the start of something great. I would definitely suggest you to continue this story if that is what you like. Apart from adding some more descriptions and depth this is a perfect tale. The cliffhanger in the end leaves me wondering what'll happen next. You did great!

Have a nice day or night further! Keep writing! You are amazing!

Hi tea! I'm going to review your story using the YWS S'more Method!

This was an interesting story. I'm guessing the vagueness is a writing style choice? Anyway, I will start reviewing now.

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
My first impression of this when I read the first part was actually that it reminded me of a POV haha. (It's not, right?) The first line sounds kind of menacing and also interesting, where someone says that someone else is going to play a possibly deadly game of Tic-Tac-Toe. The boy is angry, and doesn't want to play. (Also POV-like??) Then the man in the checkered suit says some cryptic and mysterious stuff, but the boy changes his mind about him.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
Okay, firstly, for the dialogue, you didn't say who was saying the stuff at the beginning, so I was just a teensy bit confused of who was talking. As in, maybe mention who are the speakers in these two lines:

"Well dearest Checkers, I believe that you'd have to play a game to get an answer to this."

"I am not playing another one of your twisted games!

Just a suggestion so you can clarify to the reader.
Another thing is that I think you could clarify if the voice at the beginning was the man in the checkered suit, because you didn't say that in the story. For all we know, it was someone else, which it could be. If so, maybe clarify that in some way.
Okay this is the last one, but really quickly, you made the same person emphasize the word "not" two times in a row, which kind of breaks the flow of the dialogue and makes it sound a little repetitive, so maybe only one of them is emphasized?

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I like how you described the man in the checkered suit visually, that was a nice detail in the story, and his outfit is interesting.
I also liked the "trail of tears" thingy, as well as the line that is the same as the title. Basically, I really liked your metaphors. You did a nice job of describing stuff in a poetic way, which makes sense because you are a poet.
Finally, the start really hooked the reader, because the opening line was something that made the reader want to find out more about the story.

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
Overall, this was a genuinely interesting introduction, and it really makes me want to read the prequel(s)/sequel(s). I hope you'll continue writing this story.
Happy Writing!