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E - Everyone

"And You Didn't Hear It From Me"

by LuminescentAnt


Emily was a nosy kid and she knew it. She couldn't help but listen to people's conversations when walking through the halls, and that day was no exception. She was on her way to History when she walked past two girls in her class, Iliza and Esmeralda, while they were talking. Emily had nosy ears so naturally she heard a snippet of what Eliza was saying.

"...that I have a crush on Theo!” she heard her saying. Wait what? Emily thought. Since when has Iliza had a crush on Theo? I never heard about this. Emily was in shock. Drama like this almost never happened in the school. It was big news, and she didn't know what to think of it.

After History, Emily was talking to her best friend Brooklyn. "...I mean, there isn't a lot of drama at this school. No crushes or anything. " Brooklyn was saying.

" Well, I wouldn't say that…" Emily said.

" What do you mean?” Brooklyn looked at her suspiciously.

“Okay, fine,” Emily started to whisper in her ear, “I heard somewhere that Iliza has a crush on Theo.”

Theo??” Brooklyn asked, wildly. “But Iliza’s so popular and Theo’s so…you know.”

“Exactly, that’s what I thought when I heard it.” Emily replied.

“Come on, Emily,” Brooklyn pleaded to her, “You have to tell me where you heard it! I need to know.”

“Where she heard what?” a voice said. It was Isla, Emily and Brooklyn’s other friend. “What are you guys talking about?”

“Nothing,” Brooklyn said, “It’s none of your-”

“Iliza has a crush on Theo.” Emily blurted out.

“WhAaAaAaAt??” Isla said, a bit too loudly. “Iliza has a crush on Theo?!

“Quiet down!” Emily whispered, shushing her. “This is a secret, remember? No one should know thi-”

“Iliza has a crush on Theo?” Now two boys, Luke and Levi, who were best friends, came up to the girls to hear more about the gossip.

“Now look what you’ve done!” Brooklyn said to Isla.

“What do you mean, I didn’t say it that loud!” Isla told her.

“Everyone shut up!” Emily whispered loudly. “This was supposed to be a private conversation between me and Brooklyn, none of you guys were supposed to know! You have to keep this a secret, or else-” She thought for a second. “Well, I don’t know what will happen, but something bad probably!”

“You know, you’re the one who told Isla when she heard what we were talking about!” Brooklyn pointed out to her.

“But she only came because you were talking too loudly!” Emily shot back.

“Can someone please tell us more about this?” Levi said to them.

“Yeah, we reeeally need to know.” Luke said mischievously.

“No, you don’t.” Emily said. “And it’s not like I know anything more either! What you need to do right now is not tell anyone, especially Theo. And that goes for all of you!” Emily gestured to the rest of them. “Not a word. You got that?” They all nodded. “Good. And you didn’t hear it from me.”

Little did they know that a group of five people from their grade had walked past them while they were talking, and they had heard exactly what they said. .

After school, Luke and Levi had decided that they would tell their friends, Elias and Ethan, about what they heard.

They figured that if they didn’t tell, it would be perfectly fine.

They didn’t know that Isla had already gone off and told her entire group of friends about what Emily had heard. And the group of five had each told another friend, who told another friend. Ethan and Elias also told more of their friends, including Theo’s best friend, Josiah. All of them had told people not to tell anyone else, but almost everyone had done that. By lunch the next day, everyone in the grade (and more) had heard that Iliza had a crush on Theo.

Except, of course, Iliza and Theo.

Josiah had decided that his best friend deserved to know the rumour that had been going around the grade, and that lunch was the best time to say it. When Theo had cleared his plate and was done with his lunch, Josiah went up to him.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he told him, “It’s important.”

“What? Spit it out.” Theo told him.

“Iliza has a crush on you,” Josiah whispered in his ear.

Theo was shocked. He didn’t think anyone would have a crush on him…he didn’t take care of his hair very well, and people considered him to be a nerd. Why would a popular girl like Iliza like him? “Are you sure?” Theo asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure! That’s what I heard.” Josiah said. “Maybe you should confront her.” He said quietly.

“No way! Are you crazy?” Theo exclaimed.

Now it was time for Iliza to find out about the rumour. After third block, Adriana went up to Iliza.

“So, Iliza, how do you feel about everyone knowing your secret?” Adriana sneered maliciously.

“What are you talking about Adriana?” Iliza said, rolling her eyes.

“You know, about your crush!” Adriana said.

“I don’t have any crushes,” Iliza said. “You must have mistaken me for someone else.”

“Oh, quit pretending,” Adriana told her, “everyone knows you have a crush on Theo.”

Theo?! Who on earth told you that?!” Iliza whispered loudly.

“Everyone knows, Iliza. Everyone knows.” Adriana said as she walked away with an annoying amount of confidence. Iliza couldn’t believe it. Who was spreading that rumour? She had to stop it.

That night, Iliza spent hours texting people about where they heard the rumour from, and texting that person. She couldn’t believe how much people went through to get some juicy gossip. Finally, after texting and texting, she got to the last person: Emily. There was no one in the class left, so Iliza decided she would tell her in person the next morning, since it was getting late already.

The next morning in school, Iliza came up to Emily.

“Where did you hear that rumour about me?” she demanded.

Emily looked a little scared. “Oh…you found out about that. Sorry.”

“Why have you been spreading lies about me? Do you hate me or something? Is that it?” Iliza asked angrily.

“Of course I don’t hate you,” Emily reassured her. “I just overheard you saying that to Esmeralda, and somehow everyone found out about it.”

“I would never say that! When did you hear that?”

“Right before Second Block, on Wednesday. You were walking to English.”

Iliza thought for a second and then answered. “Oh, that’s not what we were talking about…”

2 days earlier…

“So how was Camp Starview? Tell me everything!” Esmerelda said, slinging her white backpack over her shoulder as she walked out of the Chorus classroom.

“Okay, so I have this crazy story to tell you,” Iliza told her with excitement in her eyes. “So at the end of last year, Theo and I became good friends, because we have Latin together, right? And like, all the other people in Latin aren’t my friends, so I realized that Theo and I have a lot in common! So then, in Starview Camp, we both picked the same slot time for Kayaking. And in kayaking, you get to choose your partner, and I chose Theo because I wanted to continue our conversation from the last time we met! But then annoying Amber from Sapphire Prep kept saying that I have a crush on Theo, but no one believed her luckily.”

Just then, Emily walked past them. She seemed to be staring at them. How weird.

Present time…

“Ohhhh. That makes so much sense.” Emily said.

“Yup! I didn’t have a crush on him at all, it was just taken out of context. Next time, maybe don't tell people about something you eavesdropped, especially if it’s taken out of context.” She didn’t seem too angry. Emily was relieved.

“I’m sorry I spread that rumour about you. I’ll try to keep things I hear to myself next time.” Emily said.

“It’s okay! I might have done that once too…” Iliza said, trailing off.

“Wait, what?” Emily asked excitedly.

“Okay,” Iliza told her, “so in 5th grade, there was this thing where…”

THE END


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Sat Sep 30, 2023 2:33 am
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spottedpebble says...



[center]Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This is a story about a girl named Emily who spread a rumour that one of her classmates, Iliza, had a crush on another classmate, Theo. The rumour spread like wildfire, but Iliza didn't know about the rumour.

Toasted, but Slightly Burned Marshmallow - What Can Be Improved
There are no problems with the plot or the story that I think need to be improved upon, but there are a few typos that I think should be fixed. Throughout the story, you're really good at putting commas after people speak like, "“Okay,” Iliza told her," and "“Oh, quit pretending,” Adriana told her," but in some places you just put a period where a comma should have gone. Examples taken from the story: "That makes so much sense.” Emily said" and "That’s what I heard.” Josiah said."

The Melty Hershey's Chocolate Bar - What I Loved
I have a soft spot for good dialogue. You used a lot of dialogue in this story and you did it well! When people talk, they talk just like real people do. None of it sounded fake or robotic. I also loved that little section where the boys are having a conversation in text. How did you do that? It's awesome!

Graham Cracker - Overall Impressions & Closing Thoughts
Overall, this is a great story. It sounds like something that really could have happened and the writing style reflects that. I like that it leaves with some dialogue that suggests that Iliza may have spread some rumours herself. I really want to know what happened in 5th grade now! :)




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Sat Sep 30, 2023 2:32 am
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spottedpebble wrote a review...



[center]Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
This is a story about a girl named Emily who spread a rumour that one of her classmates, Iliza, had a crush on another classmate, Theo. The rumour spread like wildfire, but Iliza didn't know about the rumour.

Toasted, but Slightly Burned Marshmallow - What Can Be Improved
There are no problems with the plot or the story that I think need to be improved upon, but there are a few typos that I think should be fixed. Throughout the story, you're really good at putting commas after people speak like, "“Okay,” Iliza told her," and "“Oh, quit pretending,” Adriana told her," but in some places you just put a period where a comma should have gone. Examples taken from the story: "That makes so much sense.” Emily said" and "That’s what I heard.” Josiah said."

The Melty Hershey's Chocolate Bar - What I Loved
I have a soft spot for good dialogue. You used a lot of dialogue in this story and you did it well! When people talk, they talk just like real people do. None of it sounded fake or robotic. I also loved that little section where the boys are having a conversation in text. How did you do that? It's awesome!

Graham Cracker - Overall Impressions & Closing Thoughts
Overall, this is a great story. It sounds like something that really could have happened and the writing style reflects that. I like that it leaves with some dialogue that suggests that Iliza may have spread some rumours herself. I really want to know what happened in 5th grade now! :)




LuminescentAnt says...


Sorry for the late reply, but thank you for the review!



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Sun Sep 24, 2023 1:53 am
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ariah347 wrote a review...



As someone who has been called "nosy" myself, I was immediately drawn into this by the title and first paragraph. Alice was curious or "nosy," and I think the best of us are that way! However, curious minds do not have to lead to curious mouths... This is a great example of how quickly things can spread. It makes me reminiscent of high school. They say high school never ends, but I find it depends on who you surround yourself with. There are those who cannot tame their tongue and spread words like a cough that can't be cured. Then, there are those who know to hold secrets to themselves, and rumors die when they reach that person's ears. There are a lot of names in this that I may or may not have skipped over while reading, but it didn't detract from the read or understanding. I often focused on the names "Theo," "Iliza," and "Emily." I enjoyed this, overall. The message is loud and clear. My favorite part is how the victim also ends up guilty of the same crime! Bravo! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world <3




LuminescentAnt says...


Sorry for the late reply, but thank you for the review!



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Mon Sep 18, 2023 10:58 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Hi, Foxmaster here for a quick, quick review
OOooh, I loved this! It was such a nice short story, and I totally liked it so much! I love the way you portrayed the characters here, and I actually kind of wished it would go on longer.
But. First of all, I find that you didn't really describe things well, and in addition, also it seems slightly unlikely that Emily would only hear a little snippet of the conversation, and not more, but that's just me.

Emily was in shock. Drama like this almost never happened in the school. It was big news, and she didn't know what to think of it.

After History, Emily was talking to her best friend Brooklyn. "...I mean, there isn't a lot of drama at this school. No crushes or anything. " Brooklyn was saying.

" Well, I wouldn't say that…" Emily said.

" What do you mean?” Brooklyn looked at her suspiciously.

“Okay, fine,” Emily started to whisper in her ear, “I heard somewhere that Iliza has a crush on Theo.”

“Theo??” Brooklyn asked, wildly. “But Iliza’s so popular and Theo’s so…you know.”

“Exactly, that’s what I thought when I heard it.” Emily replied.

This is just a quick snippet, but, throughout this story, I feel like you said Emily's name a lot, and in some moments, it could be changed to "she."
Well, that's all!
Happy writing,
-Foxmaster




LuminescentAnt says...


Hi foxmaster, thank you for the review!
Emily only heard a snippet of the conversation because they were walking fast, and she was thinking too much about what she said that she didn't hear what she said next.
And I used "Emily" instead of "she" to differentiate between her and the person she is talking to.
Thanks again!



foxmaster says...


oooh ok, thanks for the explanation!



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Mon Sep 18, 2023 12:57 pm
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brookewritesbooks wrote a review...



hi there! this is my first review/comment/post/anything on this site, but i've reviewed for a quite a few other authors elsewhere, so i think i trust myself to give you my thoughts on this!

this is a really cute story! the names are great -- creative and slightly unique, but not over-the-top -- and the moral is nice. a few things that stuck out to me:

1. adverbs; you use them a LOT. pretty much all modern authors agree that adverbs should only be used when necessary. if you find yourself writing one in, try to backtrack and replace it with a word that conveys the same meaning. (for example: replacing "walked quickly" with "ran" or "sped".) not only does this erase what's seen as a "lazy" form of writing, it makes your work much more detailed and lively!

2. description; this story is very thin in terms of descriptive words. try taking things slower-- pause to tell the reader about the flow of a character's hair, the tenor of their voice, the atmosphere of their room. even with a short story, you can sort of 'oversaturate' your writing with tons of sensory details and interesting metaphors. draw the reader into the scene and don't let them go-- make them really feel like they're in the story with the characters, watching the action go down.

i hope this helps! you've got some great stuff here :) looking forward to seeing more of your work!




LuminescentAnt says...


Hi, thanks for the review and welcome to YWS! Sorry this is late. This review was really helpful, thanks for telling me this stuff honestly!



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Mon Sep 18, 2023 3:26 am
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Ventomology wrote a review...



Hahaha! What a fun modern fable! Since I'm guessing your goal was to teach a lesson about gossip and eavesdropping, I'd say mission accomplished. Great work.

Now then, I'm going kind of write this review with the assumption that you meant this as a fable, so, you know, if anyone comes to you complaining about the lack of detail and description... you heard it from me: you don't need it. You're fine. Tales of morality--especially the short ones--have a lot of leeway when it comes to things like setting and character description. I think several versions of Aesop's tortoise vs hare story don't mention where they race at all.

One thing that I think would really make this much stronger as a fable would be to have Emily experience some kind of consequence. While I think the ending is cute (the cycle begins again LOL), for it to really have a teaching moment, I think she should suffer for a little bit before Iliza ultimately forgives her. OR, it might be very funny for Emily instead to be the person who is about to tell a story, and you could sort of hint that she is going to get a taste of her own medicine. This should help reinforce that what she did was, while not malicious, silly and ignorant, and no one involved should have helped spread the rumor.

Another thing that might be interesting for you to try would be to play around a little with the style of the narration. You've made it pretty sparse, which is fine, but since you're telling really a modern fable, I don't think you need to hold yourself to any standards set by translations of Aesop or Grimm or any other classic tales of morality. It could be helpful in the telling of the tale to, for instance, try a super colloquial narrative style, as if the narrator were one these teens themselves. (Then you'll get this almost... meta? layer to this story? Just... a whole onion of layers.)

Anyway, hope this helps! This was a fun read! Happy RevMo!

-Vento




LuminescentAnt says...


Hi! Sorry for replying so late, thank you for the review! That makes sense, maybe that is something I could change. This was really helpful! Thanks again!




That there's some good in this world, Mr Frodo - and it's worth fighting for.
— Samwise Gamgee