Young Writers Society

Hi upinthearcher,

I am very happy to leave you an review.

Wow! this is poem is just like a wave of emotion that's being swooshed right over you. I love it very much. It's so powerful and it actually made me want to cry.

It's very bold of you that you've written it like a pure reality.

You have really fleshed out the reality of what it is when people and you don't understand yourself or how you can possible be yourself in this world.

These sentences really touched my heart:

"The big fat lie she let herself believe

Begging no one will see through it"

It's as if she is trying to be someone she is not. And she lets her herself believe that and want the people around her to believe that as well. It's really sad and also very deep going if you really take your time and think about it.

These sentences are also sooo typical:
"And now you’re just a boring toy

Never sad

But never exited enough"

These sentences really remind me of two songs that I know of Melanie Martinez: "PityParty" & "Playdate". I read these sentences four times to let the words sink in my head, one by one.

The title you chose: Pause
It Also speaks a lot to me and is very powerful.

I'm very happy I took time to appreciate your poem.
It really made my day and brought a big smile on my face. 😊

When you have time could you please read and review my work:
"Broken mirror image"

It's also a story I wrote about a harsh truth, it's not to brutal but it goes deep. Your poem reminded me of that story.

Keep up the great work! I loved reading it!

- Rinisha

Hello!
This is a raw and introspective poem that captures the feeling of disillusionment and disappointment with oneself. The use of the metaphor of being a spectator of one's own movie is a powerful way to convey the sense of detachment and disconnection that the speaker feels towards their own life.

The description of the smiling dumb girl who doesn't acknowledge the world and whose optimism cracks creates a sense of vulnerability and fragility. The big fat lie that she let herself believe and the fear of being seen through it adds a layer of complexity and depth to the poem.

The line "after the fall you'd think you'd be glad to be alive" captures the paradoxical nature of the speaker's feelings towards their existence. The sense of boredom and lack of excitement, despite being alive, is a poignant reminder of the struggles and challenges of life.

The final lines, "never sad but never exited enough, so hard to be 'it' when you can't even be", encapsulate the speaker's sense of inadequacy and inability to fully engage with life. The use of the word "it" suggests a desire to be part of something bigger and more meaningful, yet the speaker feels unable to do so.

Overall, this is a powerful and thought-provoking poem that explores complex themes of self-doubt and the struggle to find meaning in life. Your use of vivid imagery and metaphor creates a mood of introspection and contemplation that lingers with the reader long after the poem is over.