Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This was a nice pair of chapters again. The one issue I have here is that the fourth chapter doesn't seem like it needs to be its own chapter, but otherwise I think chapter five was pretty much my favorite chapter so far because we learn a lot about the characters and get some time to process everything that's happened so far.
Anyway let's get right to it,
"MY MAGIC!!!!" yelled Cheyenne. "OW! It hurts! Dang it!" We all gasped even though it wasn't that surprising. "Yup!" I said, even though this was the wrong moment to be cheerful. She wept with sorrow. "What do we do?"
"We go on a quest, of course." said Mochii. "Yay!"
Hmm this chapter seems a bit small?. I feel like it doesn't make sense to isolate this as a separate chapter because it could easily work at the end of chapter three. Besides that though well, a quest does sound lovely although I have to wonder why Mochii is so excited in what does seem to be a pretty sad situation. That's a bit suspicious there.
Me again. Yup. Mochii was so excited to finally leave Cheyenne's house for once (I was too, in fact) that she said she couldn't write right now, so here I am! Yay! *jazz hands* she said she was getting her "Map paper" ready so she could draw a map of everything we saw. (The map so far looked... not so good. [I say the nicest way I can.]) When Mochii finished it she threw it away, then restarted.
I walked into her room and looked around, then at her suitcase she'd packed. "What do you need a ghost tracker and a bowl of noodles for?" I asked, and was impressed by the mess she had made. She was sitting on her loft. A lamp was lit, setting a nice glow in the dark room. Her clock read: 12:36 A.M. Mochii looked very tired. "Can you help me wake up?" she asked grumpily.
"Take a cold shower?" I said but it was more of a question. Mochii dashed up the stairs and walked into the shower. You could hear water running and a few gasps and/or yelps. Finally, she walked back into her room. She was shivering but wide awake.
Well I see this is where that humor section really comes into its own as we move on from the more threatening and dangerous things to an almost relaxed atmosphere as they try and prepare to actually start out on this particular quest here.
"Thanks." she said grumpily. "At least it worked." She dried off, then tossed her towel on her bed.
"You should clean up." I observed. Mochii's room was a mess. Other than the towel, her beanbag had little red balls falling out, a pillow in the middle of the room, and two paintings were put in random spots everywhere.
"Why?" asked Mochii. "We're going on a quest. We'll be back soon. Probably. Maybe not. NO, probably not." That wasn't reassuring.
We walked downstairs to the kitchen/living room, with Mochii dragging her suitcase behind her. The T.V was paused in the middle of season five, episode seven, Once Upon A Time, which I had never seen before. The green couch was in front of a brown coffee table with a drawing pad on it, along with the Haunted Mansion series, too. The kitchen had an island with three stools standing by it. The walls were fancy, covered in wood furnishings. There was art and a shopping list on it, along with a second T.V, playing-what else? Cat T.V. Mochii turned it off, and we walked out the door she painted gold (even though she wasn't supposed to.)
Well we're certainly getting a lot of fun little details here. I'm really liking this chapter as a result I think because its giving us a little bit of a break from all of the action just to process everything that has so far happened in those first four chapters.
"Morgan is helping me put a suitcase in an alternate dimension full of lockers so I don't have to carry it," she said.
We raced outside, where everyone was waiting for us, looking tired. Even Cheyenne, and hey, at least she got some sleep.
"Come on!" said Sam.
"We cannot wait until morning?" asked Froggie.
"The sooner we leave, the sooner we catch Toren." said Morgan, so we opened the door...
Nothing happened.
"Sorry!" Cheyenne fumbled with the keys. Now The door opened, for real this time. We stared at the darkened forest, and began a crazy quest full of danger.
Well that's a lovely little moment there to end on. A bit of a classic hiccup and then things begin. I think its a wonderful little setup there. I can't wait to see what happens in chapter six. It looks like that's when things will all just build to a little climax.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall I think we've got a really solid piece right here. It does its job quite well just sort of pooling everything that's happened so far and setting us on this quest. I look forward to seeing how this quest goes.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
Points: 254038
Reviews: 4101
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