Young Writers Society

This poem is great! I really love the foreshadowing of the knife here as well its personification of it feeling lonely. The right side of the reality is very well done and this character is very believable and realistic The triplication and cyclical cycle is also nice! You don’t see those a whole lot in literature. Overall, great use of language and structure!

Very interesting poem! I love the unique format you chose to use for this poem. The indents between what you're saying vs what you think is "the truth" are very interesting and I am loving it. Very interesting take on the theme where someone is expressing their love for someone where you also express your inner thoughts. If I had to suggest any steps to make it even better I would say the main thing is consistent formatting. I noticed that for the majority of the poem, the words were indented, however, in these lines the indents are gone:

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

Hi @EsmerayaRose, I just wanted to give a short review!

I really liked this poem. What I liked about this poem was that you could tell how you felt. This poem was really emotional. This poem is also very deep

That's all, I hope you have a good day/night!

if you needed time to think, then that person shouldnt be unco-operitive. they should accept that you need time to think and heal. you shouldnt be sorry, they should. and everyone needs to love themselves. you cant love anyone unless you love yourself, thats what ive been told. i understand that being mentally unstable isnt okay. you needed TIME. and that person didnt want to give it. so maybe they arnt the right one for you. be with someone who accepts you fully. and if they " claim to love you" then they would give you time, wouldnt they? if they cant give you time, they their not worth your time. thats what i have to say that about it. your too good for them, trust me. people like that dont deserve someone like you, someone who seems like their willing to do anything for their loved ones. your not an unloveable creature. if they wont love you, love yourself! if your willing to go out of your way to be loyal to someone like that, you must be a wonderful person! there is bound to be someone better who will love you, right? i know the world is cold and you shouldnt trust anyone. start with loving yourself, and maybe things will become brighter, okay? besides, if someone like that falls, then you shouldnt have to be there to catch them. where are they when your falling? if you have to catch yourself, then they will be just fine catching theirselves. and as for that knife, i know what your thinking. stop thinking it. dont do it 🛑✋ tell that knife to beat it and make it go sit in the corner. itll find its own friends. leave it alone. and you dont have to save anyone from yourself. especially the one who wont give you time and love. go find someone better. and if you ever need someone for company, im right here, okay? you can do it. you got this. things will get better. when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade with one half and with the other half you throw it in lifes face!

Hey! I can't explain how much I love this. This poem really shows how it feels not being able to love someone the way they expect you to. And then feeling guilty over it. I also loved the format and it added so much to the poem.

Also I think the phrase "I could never save you from falling because I´m too busy trying to catch myself" just really explains how you are trying to get better yourself but end up feeling worse because you feel like you're not being what the others wish you were.

I really loved this, it's amazing.

Hey there, Alice here to give a review!

MY THOUGHTS

A beautiful poem you have there. The idea of how can I love someone when I don't know or love myself yet was clearly showcased through your writing. The guilt when someone loves you much and you can do or give them nothing in return, we all must have felt it once in our life, it's a sad feeling, to say the least

I could never save you if your falling

because I'm too busy trying to catch myself