Hi there @loveissourgrapes! This is a very adorable poem and I can very much imagine the speaker giving the poem to a close friend and them just loving it. It's sweet that you dedicated it to your YWS friends as well in the literary description.
Here's some of my comments -
In all writing Word Choice can really make the difference between a good piece and a fabulous piece and this is especially so in poetry where fewer words are used than in prose!
To have a good word choice it's important for your descriptions to fit in the same imagery/theme family (ie. if you are writing about cooking, you don't want to suddenly have a metaphor about space or sports because it feels confusing and inconsistent) and to have good word choice you also want to be specific and use the best word for the job, staying away from "filler" or "generic" words when possible.
I think for the most part you did a nice job of using strong words to make your poetry stick, but there were a few places I thought maybe the word was a bit generic:
"A friend is a great person you've never knew" <- here I think "great" could be replaced with a stronger more specific adjective.
"A friend will do things for you" <- here again, I'm not sure what "things" you're talking about, the word doesn't give me any new information as a reader, so maybe could be replaced with a more specific word or phrase.
Other generic words that one should usually stay away from: good / bad, alright, cool, small, big...
I thought one thing you did great with in this poem was your use of Repetition by repeating the "A friend..." many times but also adding a few times in the poem where you broke the repetition to add interest like in the final line. That helped keep the poem fresh, and cemented in the idea of what the poem was about. Good technique!
I like your Metaphor that a good friend is "sweet like apple pie" but I wonder if that could even be expanded a bit more! The phrase "sweet like apple pie" is a pretty common metaphor, but adding a little more information or description on how that applies specifically to this scenario I think would bring the poem to the next level.
Overall the phrasing, grammar, and spelling seemed pretty consistent throughout and I didn't find any issues outside of one line I wasn't sure of "You've never knew" should be "you've never known" I think.
Thanks for sharing your poem, and I hope you found this review helpful! Keep on writing and sharing your poems!
alliyah
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