Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayy well this was quite the first chapter here. So much going on in so many points of view. Ultimately I think it was pretty good overall but it has its issues mostly to do with quite how many points of view we have. The first part worked mostly okay because they did link up eventually, but the two extra at the end just ended up being a touch too much as interesting as they were a little too much happening in the end.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Light splashed unevenly on the ground through the gaps of the barred window. Unnatural opaque eldritch-like walls stretched for miles, icy blue eyes belonging to a snow-white head, scanned the room in a parallel manner.
The boy wondered — was it a fool's gambit to hope, to dream of a better life, he had heard tales from the orphans of a world not so dark– if one could live with the constant threats of invasion from an alien species and their cultist collaborators– He looked down briefly to his tattered clothes, its yoke reddened by bloodstains. Then he turned to the wall, noticing the innumerable tallies laden within a few meters.
Hmm this is an interesting little start here. We've got ourselves quite the little blend here for this particular opening in terms of the vibes being generated and well on the whole it just mages to come off as being a pretty intriguing little piece here.
How many days has it been, to be honest, it gets a lot harder after the triple digits — 1063, no 1097. what life had been stolen away from him? Was it one that he'd regret ignorance towards?
"Hiba, you haven't eaten, have mine, it's still warm."
He looked at Hiba, idealistic as ever — he smiled at his brother, inching his soup toward him.
Hiba opened the wooden bowl with a shaky hand, taking a spoonful of the warm broth. It made his mouth watery as he ate the contents of the bowl, licking his lips afterward before looking up at Nagasaki who was watching him intently. His pale brows were slightly furrowed, making his small nose appear more prominent than usual.
Well it seems at least despite this being having quite a few things to worry about the people around him are having some reason to relax a little bit. That definitely does spice things up a little bit in telling us sort of what might be going on here for these people. Well let's see what we've got.
"Why do you look so worried?" He asked, handing him back his bowl.
"You're still weak, your fever hasn't gone down yet." Nagasaki replied, leaning forward to get a closer look at his face.
Hiba shook his head, waving him away.
"It's fine, really." He said, trying to avoid eye contact. "I'm just tired."
Nagasaki sighed, his expression softening.
Ooooh well now that, that does heighten everything quite nicely here. It appears we've got a little bit more going on here besides just two people having different scenarios. One of them being sick and the other one being quite worried about definitely paints an entirely different picture and now once again this opening is proving to be quite interesting in yet another sort of light.
"That's no good," Nagasaki added quietly, averting his gaze. This wasn't how siblings acted together-it felt … unnatural and almost jarring to witness when he'd lived his entire young childhood growing into a teen surrounded entirely by orphans under the same grueling circumstances as he.
"…But it probably isn't too late… for the Kansen to save us." Hiba stated. Nagasaki stared at him blankly as he raised an eyebrow meaningfully — Hiba shrugged internally without explaining himself any further, though, recalling exactly what prompted those words of sympathy in the first place. For some reason — a lackadaisical explanation coming to mind, even in retrospect, that seemed ludicrous based purely upon observed fact or rationality.
Hmm well things definitely seems like we're setting off on a somewhat gloomy course with what we've set there. I think with that you do manage to now almost immediately get us quite worried for these two and feel quite a bit more invested than you might expect us to be with this being so early in the story.
Ships. Ships crashed every day, lost from navigation despite perfect visibility with precise knowledge regarding position. Lifeboats were launched and liferafts deployed, but inevitably, it often wasn't enough, either due to malfunction or improper use-something that's happening right here in the present.
This, however, went out the window with mirror seas. If one went in, it was essentially crossing the rubicon line. You may be suddenly met with a rough shore, deadly seaquakes, or even a typhoon. And say that by some god-sent miracle it ceased to exist. The prison was hidden very well, say, for a few crevices and recon drones that passed by. The only way anyone would find out about it was if the Sirens handed the information to them on a silver platter.
Oohh okay...well this is quite something to tell us about there. It seems we've got some very fancy sci fi esque stuff going on there amongst what appears to be some magic as well. Love that we get glimpses of this here. It works really well layered on top of the concern we already feel to draw us deeper into this story.
There weren't many ways to get here. After all, they were essentially cornered by mirror seas. Nagasaki could only fall upon one point, they knew the odds, and if everything else failed … If Azur Lane couldn't save them, that's what being a true brother meant– giving all the comfort you can muster until, eventually, whatever awaited passed along with the stars themselves
Unbeknownst to the two, however, fate had other plans in store.
Ooooh it seems our narrator does know that some things are about to take some turns here. We love to see it, as sort of cliché as that has become, when used in moments like this it really does manage to be quite effective at getting our attention and getting it quite promptly.
Riggings surfed against the angry white foam of the Pacific. The once golden Sakura blossom was now tainted with macroalgae and coral — the blue kimono surrounding it, however, was fine for the most part, say, for a few minor tears.
Kaga grimaced, a brief flash of light and applause from her cannons joined with the thunder and strike of lightning soon after. Yellow-veined creatures screamed alive as dozens of pieces of burning tungsten soared overhead before gravity forced its hand; a crown of fire erupted in the center, with humanoids and production models alike being burned indifferently.
This was not how Sirens were supposed to act. Akagi had seen enough of her sister's exploits to know this. They had with them the same overwhelming gap in technology was present… however, they moved smarter. Exploiting gaps in the fleet's defensive line, testing systematically for weaknesses, and almost never assaulting the same place twice. Akagi craned her neck. Something was off.
Ooooh well we're jumping into a little battle here. Well this is lovely. And it also seems on top of these being some pretty cool bits of action being described there we're also witnessing something that's a bit of anomaly taking place which naturally makes things even more interesting. Well, well well. Let's see where this is headed. Already we've got many many hooks for the readers lying in wait in this first chapter.
"Kaga, something isn't right, their behavior is too radical from normal Sirens."Akagi stated, only to be disregarded by her sister.
"I have no time to quarrel today bootlicker" Kaga snarled.
'Listen here canvas I-"
She was cut off, grunting as she forced her rigging left to avoid the white-hot plasma. Kaga in kind returned fire: the source of the attack, did not last much longer.
"So what?" Kaga remarked" Is the mighty Amagi class finally giving in, you boast so highly of your ability to turn tail and run. I'm sure you would be much more reliable taking potshots with the rest of the fleet.
Slightly clunky there on the description of returning fire but besides that, its a cool little addition, and its always really fun to see characters squabbling about and chatting calmly in the face of what appears to be quite a bit of danger. Now it does have the effect of making the situation feel less powerful thought because if the characters aren't treating it fully seriously we assume it can't be all bad.
Akagi twitched, her gaze looking as if she could eviscerate Kaga. She turned her cannons homing in on something, and a bright flash erupted, her shot arching over the Siren fleet impacting the base of the monolith structure. This did not go unnoticed for the wrong reasons: and the source of the discipline was not expected. Akagi frowned as the quiet but rage-stricken voice of her sister burst through the comms.
"Akagi explain yourself."
"Nee-sama. How can I let her off with sullying your na-
"You have a mission." Amagi sighed" Reconcile with each other and push forward, your sisters have bled enough today."
"The future of the Sakura Empire lies in your hands. Reconcile and live happily ever after."
The two siblings begrudgingly shook hands with the tiny embers of resentment waned. They gave a nod toward one another before continuing their assault.
OKayy well that felt a bit random there for the moment. I feel like whatever moment we were meant to feel there really doesn't resonate at all given this is so early into the story and we know absolutely nothing about any of these people so while that was a fun scene, it also just tails off very randomly there.
Nagasaki held his brother in his arm. His perception of the world still blurry and vibrating even after the structures shuddering ceased.
"That was naval artillery" he mulled, peeking through the gaps in the bars. He could make out blackened patches on the sharpened rock and above what was undoubtedly smoke rose from them before fading. He slumped down wide-eyed. This godforsaken prison was being assaulted.
He did not know why, how they found it, or the reasoning behind the assault. In principle, this was an impossibility. How did they navigate the mirror sea? Bypassing the heavily guarded lanes leading to them? Nagasaki pondered for a bit, the orphans had no reason to lie to him. However, it was not out of the question that their information was outdated.
Ooooh okay this is a fun little connection. Now that does make things a lot more interesting there to see sea battle earlier connecting with our two siblings and now things are in an interesting little perspective because we must figure out exactly who we're meant to support here. At the moment the siblings appear to be the ones in a worser more sympathy demanding position.
"That must be it." He clasped a bawled hand into his palm.
It was no secret that the various acquaintances the boys met were human once also. He heard tales of mythical heroines who rode the sea like valkyries. Tales of beings who could call down judgment from the sky, and sentences with their cannons. As inspiring as it was, logically, the information was from times forgotten, which meant one of two things.
The Kansen either died out and humanity was lost, which was unlikely; if they had lost, what reason did the Sirens have for continuing the prison's island-like facade. Furthermore, the Sirens from what he could tell were trying to strengthen Azur lane- forcefully. He had heard chatter from the orphans, that the Sirens, as technologically advanced as they were, could not handle the minor threat the Kansen posed to them, which essentially amounted to sticks and stones.
Hmm that little bit of information was slid in well enough I think but it was teetering on the line of being a little too far away from the flow of the scene itself there. You want to be a little bit careful about that sort of things.
"Nissan, what's wrong?" Hiba craned his neck from his brother's embrace, worried about his brother's stupor.
"Nothing," Nagasaki replied; for the first time, he meant it. He did not lie whitely to spare his brothers' feelings.
Hiba nodded and looked away with a sigh. Based on the fact that the explosions halted furthered the notion the day would pass without further incident, but that was not entirely true.
There was one thing he noticed during the long hours spent together in the cold stone room: Nagasaki was always tense and jumpy.
Well lots of mixed feelings getting tossed about in this one and it continues to get a little bit confusing now in terms of exactly what we're meant to be feeling here. ALthough I'm assuming its just that we're a little bit overwhelmed by some new characters here so I'm going to led that slide a little for the moment here.
At first, he thought it was merely nerves, since they were imprisoned, and that was understandable. But it was far more profound than nervousness. The tension radiated off him. Hiba knew he hid it well most of the time–he knew after what they had been put through that the smile was more of a facade to relieve him than anything. But today was different; the moments burdened with one-sided talking had dissipated along with the repressing of one's true thoughts.
Hiba took note of every twitch and shift of his body. He saw it now: Nagasaki's eyes darted back and forth. His fingers curled tight into fists. When he spoke, his words came out short and clipped. And when he didn't speak, he stared at nothing.
Hmm oh this is interesting. Going from Nagasaki and his concern for his brother being a little sick coming full circle to Hiba actually studying Nagasaki and realizing there's a little more there than meets the eye and that Nagasaki is actually under some sort of pressure there. Well it certainly ends up making things very interesting here.
This wasn't normal behavior for someone locked up in a cell-their behavior in the cell could rarely be called normal, but this was different. Something was bothering him, and Hiba felt compelled to help his brother work through whatever it was.
"Hey," he said softly. "Are you okay?"
His voice sounded strange coming from his mouth; it felt odd being the one giving the comfort.
Nagasaki blinked slowly. Then he turned to face Hiba.
Hmm well it looks like Hiba is starting with the direct approach even though all the evidence that we have seen upto this point suggests that said approach is very much likely to be completely ineffective. Well let's see where this takes us I suppose.
"Yes..." he answered quietly. "I'm fine."
But he knew he wasn't.
And he could not figure out why.
Meanwhile, Nagasaki did something that was contradictory to his personal rules. He prayed, his belief in his gods had been blundered these past 3 years, for no matter how much the orphans cried out, whether they be Catholic, Protestant, Christian, even cries of the most dedicated of Islam and Shintoist seemed to be omitted. But he did not have much of a choice. The next hours for their rescuers would be jarring, and if they finally got into the facility itself, the true extent of their mental forbearance would be tested.
Well...that's a good place to cut away there. You manage to build just about tension there that now when we realized this is swinging back and forth we are actively worried about that quite a bit more and we're seeing things really taking shape towards some sort of little climax here.
Kaga winced painfully as she got ashore; it had been 16 hours and it was now close to 4 in the morning; Akagi looked too exhausted to remark, her once beautiful crimson attires now in tatters. Alas, they still had a mission to complete.
In front of them were two massive steel squares clad in stygian. Below it was a tall structure sharing many similarities with the building itself, only smaller, and with a hexagonal surface, blinking a dark shade of amber every passing moment. Akagi walked over to the alien machinery stretching out her palm over its surface. The blinking stopped, her ears twitching in response to the two obsidian slabs droned to life, the hallway behind It lit up revealing… ah cathedral-like room
Okayy this is going some interesting places there as it seems we've gotten deeper here. And now we're seeing perhaps both of these groups are in fact on the same side and this attack is actually some form of rescue attempt. There's definitely lots of possibilities to think about on this one. I'm very curious to see what we'll see here especially if perhaps the Sirens from earlier being out of the normal is going to have affected things here.
Something about this whole situation felt eerily foreign. The attack was more coordinated than the usual Siren assault; they attacked sparingly and did so in the most effective way possible, and now this room. It looked ominously human. The normally neon lighting replaced by more ancient gas lamps, the floor was clad in black and white tile, and the structure itself had a strong Grecian influence.
The sisters took some time walking without aim throughout the floor. It was obvious the Siren blood spilt was not for mere tiling and comfort.
Kaga was not known to be apt with tactics. However, she could tell when something was amiss. This mission was complex well before they stepped here. The fleet itself was assembled with little regard for quality or plan. The admiralty said to capture the fortress, and both implied and said directly not to destroy it on a number of occasions. Not to mention the fact that they cast aside reserved notions acting as this had been done before.
Ooooh now these are some very important facts that are being tossed out in this moment. It looks like whoever is breaking into this fortress here has no real idea of what exactly is meant to happen and is just attacking, and the forces that are defending it seem like they're somehow more prepared for all of this than they should have been as well. Things definitely create lots of nice little mysteries there and that's wonderful for a first chapter.
In fact, they seemed scared more than anything but of what or better yet who? What organization or individual had the ability to threaten the admiralty. She felt her blood cool down the more she mulled.
These men were among the most powerful in Japan, they answered to no one, not the national diet, not the armed forces, and certainly not the people of their nation. These men had not walked on the streets of Tokyo for years, but been chauffeured in their grandeur cars to and from their luxury apartments, or to their ceremonial cottages outside the cities. They barely shopped, and when they did it was with hefty escorts, and only shopped in the most lavish of stores and were only served by well-established doctors in clinics for the wealthy, because of all of this they were considered masters of their own destiny.
For someone to threaten them…
Okayy well we're learning even more now and suddenly the plot is really starting to solidify here and gain quite a few layers quite quickly there. I do love seeing how that's panning out. It appears we're certainly about to see quite a bit of excitement there. It definitely promises to be quite the tangled little web and that's again lovely in a first chapter.
Kaga shook it off. It was too early to make conjecture yet. She would have to wait until the base revealed its secrets. But were to lo-
She stopped dead in her tracks. An always-present voice assaulted her endlessly from anywhere it pleased. It spoke of malice and cruelty beyond imagination. Pounding her head into submission. But she followed it like a moth into fire; then, like fire always does, it flickers out. Her hearing, smell, and thoughts all went dark. All that was left was sight.
In front of her stood a boy similar, albeit younger than herself. His eyes looked beyond her with alarm and dread. His filth-ridden hands prodding even more with staff, the mix of urine and fecal matter was a vile combo.
Well that was definitely quite the sight there. Well, well. It looks like perhaps we're discovering exactly what this fortress is about and Kada here is about to see a lot more of exactly what sort of fortress she was meant to be taking here. Definitely a very powerful reveal right there.
She craned her neck, left, to see a line of children, despite nationality, creed, or gender, all sang the same song of melancholia. A cloaked, stygian-haired man overlooked them all.
An awful crack and scream as the boy fell into tainted water coughing as he stood back up; only to be back on his knees with another strike. His clothes unravel almost instantaneously. His fangs bared on his own tongue as he fought every urge to scream, looking back at a boy with green fox ears, his message clear.
"Don't cry."
Well things are absolutely escalating to some pretty intense proportions here and things definitely are reaching some rather powerful heights in this one. I am very excited to see where this now ends up connecting to the other part here, this is definitely looking like a rescuer sort of scenario.
Kaga arched upward as her haze faded. She stared in front of her, and she saw a hand plump and coated in something black it felt tense and almost sorrowful; she looked up, locking with her sibling's eyes.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." This, is what sisterhood is like? To feel empathy without interference. Unfortunately, she had no time to enjoy this moment however rare it was. She got to her feet as her instincts guided her to the same place, she touched uneven steel as an opening at the end of the hallway split open, the floor revealing its neon-red veins pulsing every few moments. Kaga could barely make curvature in the distance. The two sisters walked albeit slowly, to better heed their surroundings.
Oooh well that's an interesting point to cut away at, lovely little bit of impending doom there. Its a nice addition there on top of the pretty shocking image of all the children just to make things here just that little bit more intriguing. Well let's see what more ends up coming off of that one.
Kaga felt herself getting weaker again; she tried to resist the urge to fall forward and rest. She made it to the end of the corridor; her vision blurred as she approached the door, her senses dulled by the thick metal walls, she opened the door and stepped inside. The room before her was a massive circular chamber with a single chair, and a large table in the center covered with illuminated wires, alien switches, and obsidian dials, the air smelled stale and old, as if the building itself had forgotten how to breathe.
But by the chair, there was a holographic panel, laden with intangible symbols. Her hand hovered over the panel, the system hummed as it came online, a robotic voice echoed through the metal hollow of the building.
"System activated, analyzing subject status
OKay...so it seems somehow we've skipped past that entire section with the bit of doom. Not entirely sure what prompted that decision, but I suppose things had to go a certain way here. at any rate we do appear to have slipped into a new and just as intriguing area so not much to complain about exactly.
Analyzation complete"
Numerous data filled the screen it was an archive of some sort, and there was a menu located at the screen's upper left side. What was odd is there were categories, test date, test type, model, and model number.om.
Ooooh well this definitely seems's like we're running into a very interesting little long here. The question is of course exactly what this could be talking about and if there's something to be gleaned from all of this.
6/4/79-EX insertion test 368 KG-Success subject transformation complete.
6/4/79-EX insertion test 367 AM-Success subject transformation complete.
OOooh well that is quite the long series of tests there. It looks like something pretty serious was going down there and the fact that somehow at the end it seems not only were a lot of these test subjects killed, two people were in fact somehow succeses. We're definitely adding to the pile of forming questions here.
Those numbers and letters made all the other data conceivable, and its implications, what people had likely suffered through, whether the perpetrator be Siren or something else, they had not only played god, they had probably altered the course of history itself. Soon each revelation became clear: why the admiralty was so fervent with the mission, and their orders to capture the base.
But it also raised more; no Siren no normal one anyway did this, if they were Siren the goal they have just accomplished would make humanity stronger than ever regardless of the amount of failures they succeed greatly. but, this wasn't the time for ponderance these people have suffered for far too long. It's time they received salvation.
Well we're seeing more about these Sirens once again. This time though its a bit harder to trace exactly what these conclusions are supposed to be leading us towards given they do seem to be ever so slightly more leaps of logic there. Well let's see what happens as things progress forward from here.
"Akagi " Kaga called, only to be left in silence. Where did she wander off to? Now of all the times the bootlicker lets her guard down. She probed the room, vehemently looking for the brunette battle cruiser. She crossed her arms; the hefty metal walls were dulling her senses. Finding her by hearing was out of the question. Her scent would be drowned out by all the other unnatural structures here. So she looked to her surprisingly faithful ally, the Siren monitor, a brief dance of fingers engraved security on the menu before the feed of multiple cameras filled the monitor.
She briefly gazed thoroughly over each feed, attempting to find her exuberant sister, there; on the third feed she noticed her standing out in the open. She typed again into the terminal, giving her a layout of the base, then made her way through the halls.
Hmm well it seems we've hit a bit of a lull after that burst of excitement although it does look like were are looking at this slowly just building tension in the background now as things remain quiet just for this one moment here.
Thoughts again pounded her mind as she curved through the maze-like infrastructure. Why was she standing there? More simplistic than her previous muses but no less baffling. She veered her body left, then continued before doing so again. She did this erratic dance with the dark corridors until she was face-to-face with another door.
She opened up her cold rage clearly defined in the room's very well-done lighting. She looked at her sister, still in stupor. Her gaze had not moved from the frontal position it was in Kaga looked In front of her as her body went rigid.
The discord and melancholic chants forced the sister's gaze downward on the young orphans. There were hundreds of them. Malnutrition, bone-pale skin, and vomit were common sights. They looked to see unbolted capsules; a blue pulse emanating from their sides; inside the capsules were hefty restraints and masks. Behind the capsules, themselves lay a variety of remedies and medical equipment.
Oooh well yup here we go. We're getting pretty quickly into the horrors within this place there. It seems those children aren't going to just be the one mention so we are in fact seeing some sort of rescue mission to come. Well let's see how this proceeds. We do still seem to be in that sort of bated breath stage for the moment.
Then the foxes froze to the side were two new arrivals. Both clad with crowned fox ears and nine tails and the same old tattered clout. What looks to be the eldest one was clad in soot-tainted snow-white fur and icy blue eyes, his stature tall and gave off a protective aura to the one next to him. He donned green fur with accompanying green eyes; he wore a scarf covering his mouth and drooping just below his waist.
The boys stared upward, gazing upon the foxes for what seemed like an eternity. Kaga's jaw dropped; she and Akagi, whether they liked it or not, now had brothers.
Their brotherly bond became clear as day when the elder spoke.
He stood there looking at them. He began to say something. His voice sounded deep and gruff.
"Hiba, it's over."
Ohhh okay there we go. There comes that connection and that really did manage to actually live up to to the dual sort of tension being built there although we're kind of still not entirely certain how things go from there. That was a pretty vague place to cut away on there.
Mikasa had mistaken her evaluation, personal intelligence given to her had suggested the admiralty's clandestine efforts were to hide something. But this… she simply had no words. The commander who, as much as he saw, did not accept it when he first heard the melancholic static.
Some girls vomited after they saw the archives, and others after they decrypted the security footage. But Mikasa could only stare, venom and bitterness was all she felt.
This blood stained her hand. Not the honorable blood spilled at Tsushima, but the blood of hapless children. Her blood boiled as she looked at the finished obituary. Her hand trembling as she read.
Well okay this is an interesting one. We've managed to just jump to an entirely different place now. That's an interesting choice. I wonder if this will also somehow link back up here or if this is perhaps actually meant to be someplace different. Either way this is a pretty shocking starting point there.
And she could not stomach anymore when taking a peek at the size and quantity of the files.
The death of one man is a tragedy; the death of a million is a statistic; the death of children is a calamity no matter the quantity. She shook her head fervently, allocating all her mental vigor to her goal. There had to be a connection.
Her eyes darted across the evidence board.
There had to be.
Then she noticed something, a picture of Hinata, but more importantly, the date of disappearance.
Oh wow we're definitely leaning in hard on the atrocities here and seeing through this it does appear that we're dealing with perhaps the records of this prison here and so it is in fact connected, just that we haven't quite met this character yet or perhaps I'm making a wrong connection there.
"Excuse me, Shirou?" Mikasa requested her confidential informant as a skinny but somewhat muscular man came through the door.
The ginger man yawned before drowsily wiping the gunk from his trough. He was used to all-nighters, but not in succession. This was the longest caste of the sixteen he'd been assigned this week. But he knew Mikasa personally and owed her a favor that he'd rather pay sooner rather than later; given a Kansens lifestyle, he'd rather not be thrown into situations necessitating him getting near Sirens.
"So Mikasa-San, finally have a lead?"
"Perhaps," Mikasa responded,
Well those names are at the moment kind of confusing to look through. We can see some connections being formed by the characters here but clearly we can't really see much beyond the simple weight of these deaths disappearances on random people.
"Shirou, don't you find the nature of the parent's death's to be quite odd?" the horned woman pointed to the evidence board, Shirou took a few steps before squinting.
"They all died near the date of their child's disappearance."
"How did they die so soon."Mikasa mused "Shirou, can you tell me when was the disappearance of Alleron was confirmed."
Shirou nodded as he rapidly typed the information into his monitor, blinking a couple of times before responding.
Okayy well that does look like its a fairly reasonable sort of lead to try and pursue there. Making enough sense that it does feel like a natural sort of leap that could be made. Definitely makes that lead much more interesting as a result.
"1 O'clock sharp on the 30th Mikasa-san"
Mikasa caressed her chin.
Every child on this list had two things in common. Their parents were dead, followed by a disappearance. Normally this could be pinned on their northern neighbor, but they unified long ago and were in too good of relations, to risk their reputation. Still, there was always a possibility.
"Shirou, did the children disappear near beaches?"
Well okay as we progress here this does seem to different a bit from the prison scene after all, but nonetheless we are seeing a very interesting little investigation play out here and I am quite intrigued to see where this might actually be headed here.
"no, not that I know of, all in urban centers or in crowded suburban areas, " The Ginger said before lighting a cigar.
"I'll say this, whoever took the kids did a damn good job of not being noticed, I've cycled through the security footage of the last time any of the kids were seen fifteen times. I saw nothing."
"Loop recording?" Mikasa inquired
"In the urban sprawls they lived in, unlikely. I would have definitely seen a car or person repeat movements."
Well we're definitely learning quite a few interesting details on this one. The more we learn of these children and these people, the more curious this whole thing appears to become here. It definitely makes you very curious too.
This meant one thing, whoever or whatever-maybe a bit of both-Had eyes and ears in the deepest crevices of the Sakura empire. It wouldn't be too far-fetched given their effectiveness in the assassinations and kidnappings, to say that they had a fully functioning intelligence network, sleeper agents and all.
"Have you found any cultist groups in the area?"
"Every law enforcement department from every ward has already gotten word of this tragedy Mikasa san, they are already looking into it," Shirou replied, relieving himself with another puff.
With that said, Mikasa was done for the night. She gathered up her belongings before dawning her naval cap and exiting. Shirou, running towards the veteran with a pennant firmly grasped in his arms
Well... it does seem like we've got ourselves a pretty serious investigation happening into it all and some very interesting groups that seems to be considered through it. At the moment it is all a bit of an information overload though, because we really have no context for most of these things.
"You forgot this."
Mikasa gave a chuckle taking the hat before brushing off the little dust atop it. She turned to Shirou with a mild gleam before speaking.
"Thank you for fulfilling my Request Shirou on such short notice."
The ginger male waved his hand dismissively." It was the least I could do to repay the debt, after what you did for me.
"Don't be so orthodox, as the grandson of an intelligence officer at Tsushima, saving your life was a tally long overdue."
The two friends gave each other a gentle embrace, both walking their separate ways.
OKayy that one is a bit of an odd moment again due to the lack of context but it does seem at least like its a pretty interesting little side quest there so that's another question to add onto the list there and that's always good to see.
Mikasa contemplated her options for a moment.
She did not know how deep into cover their spies were, nor the extent of their undercover operations or their political and financial ties. She did not even have solid evidence to back up her claim. so she would gather some.
It was time for her- for the last time she could not be certain of- to rise to the title of war god once more; For Aoki-No; for the Orphans.
OKayy well that is a nice little uplifting note to end. Very appropriate for the sort of investigation that was being carried out in that particular scene there. I think it works well for it.
Light poured in through the now morning sky, filling light in the now-captured base. Commander Hoshino was still quite dubious of what he had been told would be walking through his front door any minute now. He sighed, taking a moment to muse. Five hundred and ninety children died here.
He was best known for his ability to stomach things. It earned him the highest of acclaim from the admiralty along with the most labor-intensive missions. How long since Macau, was it seven or eight years? Did it really even matter? Hoshino gave a melancholic sigh.
The Sakura Empire had been protecting the Pacific for the past 18 years. He remembered the day the rearmament treaty was signed, and the glee on his grandfather's face when he joined the Sakuran navy.
Hmm okay we've got yet another opening scene. This time it feels a bit too much thought. Its just so many things to keep track of and crammed into this one giant chapter it's now starting just be too much and there's the point where things go from mysterious to just confusing and a little hard to keep track of. So I would be a bit wary of that.
Then, like war always does, it throws its romantic persona aside and bares its true fangs. First Kai, then Itoh, Captain Mita…, soon they were all gone, taken slowly for what seemed to be for no reason other than a sick joke of fate until he remained. The saddest part is, to him this was no mental rant of self-pity. more for his rash decisions. He had sworn on Mita's grave; he would find some goal, some holy grail able to defeat the Sirens.
But as time whisked away, so did hope. The hordes of ships just increased, and their attacks only grew more powerful. No matter how many ships the Kansen sunk, they would just keep coming back. And some sick part of him had believed the admiralty had a plan, that Azur Lane was not throwing one last desperate bone, and believed that humanity could win. Holy grails only ever existed in dreams.
Alas, it was not a strong stomach or hyper-engrossment on a singular goal that gave him the will to move forward. It was more self-distraught and pitiful than anything. In fact, it was quite a testament to how high expectations are often bred for the simple reason People needed heroes.
Okayy...not nearly as exciting either this part. We're just seeing quite a bit of summary happening. We are learning about this person, and that's a decent bit of the personality that we're able to see but besides that its a bit limited her compared to some of the other scenes in here.
He could only laugh at the irony.
To his people, he was an exemplary man.
To the citizens of Macau a god.
To himself, just another sad man who had seen more than he should. The same could describe his thought process last night
Last night any melancholy, self–reflection, or time to mourn was drowned out with alcohol. He craned his neck, seeing the blue and red-tinted glass scrutinize him from behind the mulberry curtain generously left behind by the previous owner.
Well this is perhaps the most we actually get some glimpse at little more than just a summary and its decent again. This scene just mostly has not much to write home about and ends up kind of feeling unnecessary as a result even if we didn't have the problem of too many introductions.
He wondered, did he have any right to feel more grief than the young orphans here, life was not kind, and certainly not fair. He could respect these orphans. It was bittersweet, their parents are dead along with childhood memories. They had been beaten, maimed, and forced into labor. But they still had hope, aspirations, and resolve he thought humans were incapable of.
He heard a knock at the door. He steeled his face, his frown forced into a neutral facade as … what do you know five foxes entered the room.
His thoughts were soon interrupted when … well what do you know, five foxes entered his office.
"I think it's best that I speak to you 3 alone." The commander said as the boys left the room along without noticeable opposition.
"What is this about shikikan-sama?" Akagi blinked.
OKayyy well that's at least a little bit of a cliffhanger there to end on so that was a nice little addition to end on. Always a decent choice to end the first chapter on something like that except here this one isn't quite earned and the moments to come before it echo through as well so overall, its a bit disjointed ultimately even if it is effective.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall a decent first chapter here. It has its flaws but I think overall it does manage to actually be interesting enough to create a few characters that we do actually find ourselves a little invested and it does enough to be interesting that we do find ourselves wanting to know more and read on.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
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