this is a very beautiful poem. you described growth so well, the idea of striving for a better life, then realizing that YOU have to give yourself that life, the overall theme of how you shouldn't stop trying to be a better person, but that road is messy. That it's not as easy as it sounds to turn your life into something perfect overnight; how your past will keep coming back to haunt you and your regrets, but now it's time to come to peace with your past and start moving on. This entire theme is so refreshing!!
other than all that, I love your whole rhyme scheme here, it's so fun to read out loud and has this whole rhythm to it, which I love. Rhyming itself can be quite complicated but you managed to make almost every line rhyme, and that too in which it makes sense. Your lines are very carefully put together too, my favorite are:
My little addiction.
‘Idle hands are the devil’s workshop’
Oh, how I wish I could just stop.
What the hell am I going to gain ?
All Its causing me Is pain and my health is going down the drain.
My life needs to go somewhere,
Maybe I do need a little prayer
Because these worldly things give me such a scare.
Stuck in an everyday nightmare.
There’s someone else I got to look out for now
We’ve got to make It somehow.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes
But now I am fully awake.
you just described the stages of growth very well. Like @Thediffident said, addiction, realization, and redemption.
One thing you should definitely do is use paragraph breaks, so the entire poem can be separated into stanzas, which will make it more organized, easy to read, and follow along.
I do have one question though: why is this poem titled "My goodbye poem"? is it because you're saying goodbye to your past??
Anyways, this was a wonderful read. Bye!