Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

A Splash of SeaSalt

by enidskittyteef


Elijah took a small step forward; his legs were wobbling. Here he was, his first day of middle school. Kids were running and screaming, shoving past each other.

"Move nerd," an older kid shoved past him. The kid’s friends snickered, pushing past Elijah with twisted grins. People were pushing past everywhere.Bodies rubbed against his, and screams pierced his ears. It was too much. Elijah took one step back then quickly ran away. All he heard was the bell ring as he ran away sobbing. His heartbeat was coordinated with his feet as they hit the pavement. Tears ran down his cheeks as his feet followed the sidewalk, a pattern of turns and twists ingrained into his brain. He turned left and ran down a steep hill. He was going so fast. His heart skipped a beat, he was now tumbling down the hill. He stopped at the bottom, sobbing in a heap on the floor. He sat and cried for a few minutes until he heard a voice,

“Are you okay?” It was the voice of a small girl. He looked up, startled. There was nobody there. He looked to his left and his eyes locked on someone else's. It was a seagull.“Hello? Who’sthere? This isn’t funny!” he yelled, eyes scanning the beach. Nobody was there but him and the seagull. He turned to look at it, “You didn’t speak, right?” He felt crazy, talking to seagulls. The seagull stared at him for a moment before opening its beak,

“But I did! My name is SeaSalt!” The seagull spoke. She was quite small, a baby. Elijah stared at her in disbelief. He shook his head,

“No. Seagulls cannot talk. I’mgoing crazy. Shoo,” he waved SeaSalt away. She didn’tleave. Instead, she stepped closer to him and pecked at him, almost smiling. Elijah was confused at how a bird could smile but then he saw it was her eyes. They were so happy, smiling at him. He felt a strange comfort and decided to try talking to her, “I’m Elijah, but you can call me Eli. How can you talk?”She smiled with her eyes again, “Hello Eli! I do not know. How can you talk?” She stared deep into his eyes, waiting for a reply.

“I don’tknow. I just can talk, “He shrugged

“Same with me. Would you like to talk with me? You seem...” she trailed off for a second before continuing,, “You seem a bit troubled.”

“Well, I’m supposed to be at school right now. I couldn’t stay there anymore. I just feel so at home here, so safe.”“I also feel so at home here. Probably because this is my home. Would you like to come on an adventure with me? It could help calm you!” She jumped up and began to fly, soaring through the sky. Eli giggled as she swooped down and landed on his shoulder.

“Sure! But what do you have in mind?”“You’ll see.” and with that, she opened her beak and loudly called three times. They both paused for a moment. Eli could notbelieve his eyes. He swept his strawberry blonde hair out of his eyes to clear his vision. It was real. There were hundreds, thousands of seagulls soaring above them. In one big motion they all landed in perfect military rows.

“We are going to fly,” SeaSalt spoke, her eyes shimmering with a smile.“How?” Eli’s face contorted into a look of confusion, “Are you going to leave me?” Tears welled in his eyes.“No! You will see,” she laughed. Then, she called two shrill calls out to the other seagulls. Theyswarmed around Eli, startling him.“Relax. This will be fun!” SeaSalt joined the others in the sky. They all carried Eli into the air, his eyes filled with wonder. He, Eli Morrison, was flying. Better yet, he made a new friend.“What do you think? Fun?” SeaSalt grinned as they soared over the ocean. They swooped and soared for what felt like forever. He felt happy, he wanted to fly forever. “Uh oh,” Eli was brought back to reality when he saw the sun was setting into a blushing pink mixed with orange, it reminded Eli of the strawberry-banana smoothie he had for breakfast that morning. He was supposed to be picked up when school ended but he hadn’t even gone.. He quickly glanced at his watch, it was 6:03. He could see it now, his parents waiting for him at the bus stop, worried when he didn’t get off. That was hours ago. They were probably in hysterics.

SeaSalt was staring at Eli, her head tilted.. She knew what he was thinking and let out a loud shrill call. As soon as she closed her beak, all the seagulls began to gently glide Eli back to the beach. After a few minutes, his feet hit the sand. All the birds went back into their perfect lines, leaving SeaSalt to land on Eli’s shoulder.

“Would you like us to fly you home?” She spoke softly.

“I don’t think so. But you could walk with me!”

She nodded and let out a tiny squawk. The seagulls went their separate ways.Eli began walking silently home. His stomach twisted in worry; his parents were going to be furious. He spaced out until he realized he had reached his street. He slowly walked, it felt like trudging in molasses.He approached his house, stopping at the door. As he reached for the handle, SeaSalt flew away, eyes sparking. He had a feeling he would see her again soon.

He took a deep breath and opened the door, he saw his mom, she looked sick with worry.

“Mom! I’m so sorry. I got so nervous and-“. She pulled him into a huge hug, stopping his apology. His dad came from behind and joined in. Eli learned a lot today, he could do whatever he put his mind to, even fly. Better yet, he made a new friend.


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Fri Dec 09, 2022 10:22 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: OKayy this was quite the peace here. I thought it was going to be so many things and yet it managed to really defy my expectations at very turn and I find that quite enjoyable. Its not often a story this simply often manages to really go ahead and so much and I really liked that.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Elijah took a small step forward; his legs were wobbling. Here he was, his first day of middle school. Kids were running and screaming, shoving past each other.

"Move nerd," an older kid shoved past him. The kid’s friends snickered, pushing past Elijah with twisted grins. People were pushing past everywhere.Bodies rubbed against his, and screams pierced his ears. It was too much. Elijah took one step back then quickly ran away. All he heard was the bell ring as he ran away sobbing. His heartbeat was coordinated with his feet as they hit the pavement. Tears ran down his cheeks as his feet followed the sidewalk, a pattern of turns and twists ingrained into his brain. He turned left and ran down a steep hill. He was going so fast. His heart skipped a beat, he was now tumbling down the hill. He stopped at the bottom, sobbing in a heap on the floor. He sat and cried for a few minutes until he heard a voice,


Well this is quite the start here. Definitely raises a few red flags there right off the bat about the kind of situation that we have going on here. I think you manage to get our attention quite quickly here with some pretty strong emotions being on display pretty much right away here.

“Are you okay?” It was the voice of a small girl. He looked up, startled. There was nobody there. He looked to his left and his eyes locked on someone else's. It was a seagull.“Hello? Who’sthere? This isn’t funny!” he yelled, eyes scanning the beach. Nobody was there but him and the seagull. He turned to look at it, “You didn’t speak, right?” He felt crazy, talking to seagulls. The seagull stared at him for a moment before opening its beak,

“But I did! My name is SeaSalt!” The seagull spoke. She was quite small, a baby. Elijah stared at her in disbelief. He shook his head,


Oh wow, well that, I did not see that coming in the slightest there. Definitely caught me very much off guard this one. Wow, now I see why we had that title be capitalized in that odd manner. Well, this is certainly a lovely twist here. Let's see how far this ends up going here.

“No. Seagulls cannot talk. I’mgoing crazy. Shoo,” he waved SeaSalt away. She didn’tleave. Instead, she stepped closer to him and pecked at him, almost smiling. Elijah was confused at how a bird could smile but then he saw it was her eyes. They were so happy, smiling at him. He felt a strange comfort and decided to try talking to her, “I’m Elijah, but you can call me Eli. How can you talk?”She smiled with her eyes again, “Hello Eli! I do not know. How can you talk?” She stared deep into his eyes, waiting for a reply.

“I don’tknow. I just can talk, “He shrugged


Okayy....that went from doubt to acceptance pretty fast but then with the way this is formatted this seems a bit more suited to be a universe where a random animal can talk just because and not have it be taken seriously so I'm going to let that one slide for the moment here.

“Well, I’m supposed to be at school right now. I couldn’t stay there anymore. I just feel so at home here, so safe.”“I also feel so at home here. Probably because this is my home. Would you like to come on an adventure with me? It could help calm you!” She jumped up and began to fly, soaring through the sky. Eli giggled as she swooped down and landed on his shoulder.


Okayy this is an interesting twist there, never did I ever think that I would envision a duo with a seagull and a human and expect the results to actually be pretty good, but of course here we are, let's see where this takes us.

“Sure! But what do you have in mind?”“You’ll see.” and with that, she opened her beak and loudly called three times. They both paused for a moment. Eli could notbelieve his eyes. He swept his strawberry blonde hair out of his eyes to clear his vision. It was real. There were hundreds, thousands of seagulls soaring above them. In one big motion they all landed in perfect military rows.


Okayy that does not sound like its about to end well. That is quite a lot of seagulls to contend with when we've got just the one human, not to mention it seems they've forgotten the one important feature that humans can't actually fly on their own.

“We are going to fly,” SeaSalt spoke, her eyes shimmering with a smile.“How?” Eli’s face contorted into a look of confusion, “Are you going to leave me?” Tears welled in his eyes.“No! You will see,” she laughed. Then, she called two shrill calls out to the other seagulls. Theyswarmed around Eli, startling him.“Relax. This will be fun!” SeaSalt joined the others in the sky. They all carried Eli into the air, his eyes filled with wonder. He, Eli Morrison, was flying. Better yet, he made a new friend.“What do you think? Fun?” SeaSalt grinned as they soared over the ocean. They swooped and soared for what felt like forever. He felt happy, he wanted to fly forever. “Uh oh,” Eli was brought back to reality when he saw the sun was setting into a blushing pink mixed with orange, it reminded Eli of the strawberry-banana smoothie he had for breakfast that morning. He was supposed to be picked up when school ended but he hadn’t even gone.. He quickly glanced at his watch, it was 6:03. He could see it now, his parents waiting for him at the bus stop, worried when he didn’t get off. That was hours ago. They were probably in hysterics.


Okayy well that seems dangerous but I love it simply cause of quite how ridiculous it happens to be as a concept. Its just crazy enough that I think it works, not to mention I love that you chose to inject a dose of reality into the mix and have him remember his parents waiting on him, that's not something that often gets remembered and I love this detail.

SeaSalt was staring at Eli, her head tilted.. She knew what he was thinking and let out a loud shrill call. As soon as she closed her beak, all the seagulls began to gently glide Eli back to the beach. After a few minutes, his feet hit the sand. All the birds went back into their perfect lines, leaving SeaSalt to land on Eli’s shoulder.

“Would you like us to fly you home?” She spoke softly.

“I don’t think so. But you could walk with me!”


OKayy well that is an interesting moment. I was expecting this journey to be more of the fun type but to have SeaSalt notice something off an actually take steps to try and fix that is adding a layer of emotion I didn't expect to see but definitely this is something I am very much pleasantly surprised by.

She nodded and let out a tiny squawk. The seagulls went their separate ways.Eli began walking silently home. His stomach twisted in worry; his parents were going to be furious. He spaced out until he realized he had reached his street. He slowly walked, it felt like trudging in molasses.He approached his house, stopping at the door. As he reached for the handle, SeaSalt flew away, eyes sparking. He had a feeling he would see her again soon.

He took a deep breath and opened the door, he saw his mom, she looked sick with worry.

“Mom! I’m so sorry. I got so nervous and-“. She pulled him into a huge hug, stopping his apology. His dad came from behind and joined in. Eli learned a lot today, he could do whatever he put his mind to, even fly. Better yet, he made a new friend.


Okayy that ended honestly a lot better than I though it would once you introduced the mom factor to the equation. I think you really managed to surprise us at pretty much every possibly turn here which I love.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, this was quite the piece here. It left me with much to think about and definitely introduced us to quite some exciting ideas here. I honestly think this just ends up feeling a bit incomplete here as a result and really I find myself just wanting more because as it stands it almost seems sort of to be priming itself for more to come without really following through any singular idea. I don't know if that was intentional but it is he vibe I get.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Tue Dec 06, 2022 7:24 pm
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ccarson wrote a review...



-Cleo Carson speaking

Nice writing! I found your description of middle school to be incredibly accurate! I like the idea of returning to a safe place for comfort. Also the fact that Eli reacted basically in the same way anyone else would if a seagull started talking to them.

-Corp. C. Carson
-[REDACTED] County Sheriff's Office






Thank you so much! Glad you liked it :3



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Mon Dec 05, 2022 3:12 pm
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regularpaperclip768 wrote a review...



I really felt what Elijah was going through in the beginning, and SeaSalt was so cute. I do want to say that you should watch your spacing of words. There are quite a few times that words tend to be squished together. Also, dialogue needs to be spaced out more as if each character talking is its own separate sentence.

For example:

"Hey, Tom!" Valarie said, waving."

"Hi Valarie," Tom replied. "How was your weekend?"

Other than that, however, your writing is very good.






Thanks! I'll make sure to fix that!




I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.
— Walt Disney