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Sunny and the Syntax Errors of Doom: Chapter 4.1

by Spearmint


Robert glanced at the manual Sunny was holding. "Hum. Perhaps the paragraph on incompatible types slipped out when you weren't looking. Weren't you listening earlier? Error descriptions have been escaping their books and flying to Spaghetti Code mountain."

"I-I didn't think you guys were serious…" Sunny waved her arms exasperatedly. "On Earth, words don't just jump off their pages!"

Robert shrugged and offered no further comment on the matter. After a few more fruitless moments of flipping through the manual, Sunny gave up and snapped it closed. For the rest of the ride, she stared at the vehicles passing their cart and wondered how exactly one would go about catching errors. She didn't suppose it was as simple as waving a butterfly net in the air…

Soon enough, their cart rolled to a stop at the outskirts of a village, and the driver swallowed his mouthful of chips. "Here we are. Variable Village!"

Robert thanked him in Javalandian, and Sunny eagerly hopped out of the cart and stretched her legs. Variable Village seemed to be composed of a mixture of boxy houses and shacks connected by rough roads. She saw some people walking down the streets, accompanied by some fluffy creatures. Were they dogs? They looked rather squarish, though… Sunny turned to Robert. "What are those creatures that people are walking?"

"Oh, those are variapets. Like, variables plus pets." He rolled his eyes. "What a lazy name, I know." He started floating down a street to the right. "The error guardian is this way."

Sunny ran to catch up. "Wait, that didn't answer my question! What are variapets? And can I pet one?"

Robert eyed Sunny. "You can try… Well, I'll let Eniac explain more. He's borderline obsessed with them."

"Eniac's the error guardian?" Sunny shifted the backpack higher on her shoulders.

Robert grunted something vaguely affirmative and seemed to float even faster.

"Wow, someone's in a bad mood." Sunny pouted, but followed Robert along a winding path of streets until they reached a small house.

The house was perfectly cubical and above the door was the text, "houseOfEniac." A couple of small shrubs decorated the lawn. As Sunny sketched the building, Robert knocked on the door briskly, still wearing a mildly annoyed expression for some reason. Sunny hoped it wasn't because of anything she'd done.

They waited for a few minutes, but the door still hadn't opened by the time Sunny finished her sketch. Robert frowned. "Let's check the backyard."

The robot floated over to a wooden gate in the fence next to the house and rapped on it with an arm. "Eniac? It's me, Robert, with a guest."

There was silence for a moment, then without any warning, a head of electric-blue hair popped up over the fence. Two narrowed eyes squinted down at Robert and Sunny. "Eh? You're going to rob me of my quest?"

Robert muttered something that sounded like, "I hate repeating myself. Especially when I know he understood me the first time."

Eniac pointed to a blue something in his ear. "Don't blame me, blame the translator."

"A translator?" Sunny looked at the error guardian curiously.

Eniac nodded proudly, his hair flopping around. "Yes, but it's still a work in progress. Right now, it can convert between Java code and Javalandian, but English and Javalandian needs some work. And since I'm testing Javalandian to English to Javalandian, I can't help but mishear things sometimes." He looked pointedly at Robert.

"I see…" Sunny thought for a moment, then decided to try out the speech she'd prepared. "Well, my name is Sunny, and I and my trusted sidekick Robert are on an important quest to retrieve the error descriptions right now. Esteemed error guardian, would you kindly lend us your aid? And perhaps a translator, if you have any extras?"

"Excuse me, I'm not your side–"

Sunny elbowed Robert.

"And we're not retrieving, we're just gathering info–"

Sunny elbowed him a little harder.

Eniac stared at Sunny and hummed for a good thirty seconds. There was a faint yapping from the other side of the fence. Suddenly he ducked his head below fence level again, and before Sunny knew it, the fence was swinging inward to let her and Robert in. Eniac quickly closed the fence behind them.

The error guardian was dressed in bright colors, similar to Professor Polly. His sky-blue suit featured a stripe of lightning yellow and his shoes looked like they'd be golden if the dirt was rubbed off of them. Come to think of it… the rest of his outfit wasn't perfectly clean either. When Sunny looked closer, she could see that the shoulders of the suit were fraying, and Eniac's hair looked a little droopy on the sides. Was this a result of the descriptions escaping? The guardian was rather short as well, although Sunny wasn't sure that could be attributed to the errors.

She bent down slightly and offered her hand to Eniac for a handshake. "Nice to meet you, esteemed error guardian. I'm Sunny."

"Eniac." Eniac shook her hand firmly. "See, Rudolph? Some respect goes a long way." Sunny nodded in agreement. Rule number 13 said to treat all magical creatures politely, lest they blasted you to smithereens or did something equally unpleasant.

"It's Robert," the robot grumbled.

Eniac waved his hand dismissively, then reached into a pocket and pulled out a pair of yellow earbuds. "Here's the translator you asked for, Sunny. This is an older version, but still, please return them to me unscathed."

Sunny nodded and took them gratefully, placing them into her ears.

"So, Sunny, what do you require my assistance with, other than the translator?" To Sunny's delight, Eniac's voice came through in English. She didn't have to rely on Robert for translations now.

"How come you get her name right?" Robert sulked.

Sunny stuck her tongue out at Robert, then smiled politely at Eniac. "I was hoping to learn more about the incompatible types error, as well as what exactly has been happening to the error guardians."

"Ah." Eniac's expression turned sober. "Yes, of course, I can help with that. But first… would you like to watch a performance by my variapets? I find that it's easier to talk about depressing topics after a lively performance."

Sunny glanced around the rest of the backyard and caught sight of a little stage set up in the middle. A couple of boxy variapets were scampering around it. "Oh, I'd love to! I'd appreciate learning more about variapets as well… Robert didn't deign to tell me anything about them."

Eniac tsked sadly. "Robert, how could you? You should never pass up an opportunity to impart useful information to an interested listener."

"Yeah, yeah." Robert floated over to a tree in the corner of the backyard. "Wake me up when you're done. I think a lack of sleep is making me grouchier than usual." He muttered, "It's either that or having to deal with people…" Without any further ado, the robot powered off.

Sunny walked over to the stage and took a seat on the grass as Eniac crouched by the variapets and whispered encouragement to them. Then he stood up and flourished his arms.

"Welcome, one and all, to Eniac and the Variapets' Show Spectacular!"

Sunny clapped enthusiastically.

"Now, let me take a moment to introduce our performers." Eniac gestured to a fluffy green variapet. "This is the one, the only, Ingrid the Integer! She'll store integers greater than you've ever seen before. She'll perform addition and subtraction in a matter of milliseconds. Prepare to be amazed by Ingrid's inspiring, intriguing, incredible acts!" The variapet cartwheeled onto the stage and danced about on little legs. Sunny oohed and aahed.

"Next up, we have Debbie the Double! She'll do everything Ingrid did, but with a twist– Debbie specializes in decimals. Get ready for her double-tastic daring deeds!" A pink variapet joined Ingrid on the stage and jumped up and down.

"And then we have Bobby the Boolean. He'll answer true or false questions faster than you can blink. Boo to boredom!" A variapet that flashed between the colors orange and blue climbed up on stage.

"Finally, we have Charlie the Character. He'll sing the alphabet song!" A yellow variapet rolled onstage. "Don't be fooled by his simple appearance. He can store all kinds of characters too– even numbers and punctuation."

Eniac did jazz hands. "Give it up for our performers!"

Sunny cheered them on. "Woo-hoo!"

"Now then. The show will start with a feat of mathematics featuring Innnngriiiiid!"


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Mon Dec 05, 2022 6:10 pm
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: I am so far loving the way this quest is progressing here. I think you're really tapping in quite nicely to the ideas of this new village and what it contains, and we've got just about enough mysterious details about this error guardian to keep us occupied while we wait for this performance to finish.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Robert glanced at the manual Sunny was holding. "Hum. Perhaps the paragraph on incompatible types slipped out when you weren't looking. Weren't you listening earlier? Error descriptions have been escaping their books and flying to Spaghetti Code mountain."

"I-I didn't think you guys were serious…" Sunny waved her arms exasperatedly. "On Earth, words don't just jump off their pages!"

Robert shrugged and offered no further comment on the matter. After a few more fruitless moments of flipping through the manual, Sunny gave up and snapped it closed. For the rest of the ride, she stared at the vehicles passing their cart and wondered how exactly one would go about catching errors. She didn't suppose it was as simple as waving a butterfly net in the air.


Why do I feel like that's foreshadowing ahhh... Also I love the image of the errors from this book just flying off sneakily while Sunny was still asleep for some reason. At any rate, this little bit of confirmation on what might have happened is proving to be a lovely touch here. Let's see what else we're going to end up seeing here.

Soon enough, their cart rolled to a stop at the outskirts of a village, and the driver swallowed his mouthful of chips. "Here we are. Variable Village!"

Robert thanked him in Javalandian, and Sunny eagerly hopped out of the cart and stretched her legs. Variable Village seemed to be composed of a mixture of boxy houses and shacks connected by rough roads. She saw some people walking down the streets, accompanied by some fluffy creatures. Were they dogs? They looked rather squarish, though… Sunny turned to Robert. "What are those creatures that people are walking?"

"Oh, those are variapets. Like, variables plus pets." He rolled his eyes. "What a lazy name, I know." He started floating down a street to the right. "The error guardian is this way."


Well...there have been worse names for things in the past, at the very least they are pretty easy to trace towards what they describe. ALso loving the description of this new place here. Its once again pretty simple, but I think it just about captures the general vibe of the place well enough here.

Sunny ran to catch up. "Wait, that didn't answer my question! What are variapets? And can I pet one?"

Robert eyed Sunny. "You can try… Well, I'll let Eniac explain more. He's borderline obsessed with them."


Well that certainly makes these variapets a lot more mysterious than I initially gave them credit for when we ran into them.

The house was perfectly cubical and above the door was the text, "houseOfEniac." A couple of small shrubs decorated the lawn. As Sunny sketched the building, Robert knocked on the door briskly, still wearing a mildly annoyed expression for some reason. Sunny hoped it wasn't because of anything she'd done.

They waited for a few minutes, but the door still hadn't opened by the time Sunny finished her sketch. Robert frowned. "Let's check the backyard."

The robot floated over to a wooden gate in the fence next to the house and rapped on it with an arm. "Eniac? It's me, Robert, with a guest."

There was silence for a moment, then without any warning, a head of electric-blue hair popped up over the fence. Two narrowed eyes squinted down at Robert and Sunny. "Eh? You're going to rob me of my quest?"


Well that is certainly quite the entrance there for this person. Robert being in a suspiciously bad mood is also a bit of a cause for concern there. Well, it seems like we've got ourselves a lot of little details to be concerned about in this particular instance. And we've just about barely got started here.

Eniac pointed to a blue something in his ear. "Don't blame me, blame the translator."

"A translator?" Sunny looked at the error guardian curiously.

Eniac nodded proudly, his hair flopping around. "Yes, but it's still a work in progress. Right now, it can convert between Java code and Javalandian, but English and Javalandian needs some work. And since I'm testing Javalandian to English to Javalandian, I can't help but mishear things sometimes." He looked pointedly at Robert.

"I see…" Sunny thought for a moment, then decided to try out the speech she'd prepared. "Well, my name is Sunny, and I and my trusted sidekick Robert are on an important quest to retrieve the error descriptions right now. Esteemed error guardian, would you kindly lend us your aid? And perhaps a translator, if you have any extras?"


Okayy...well Sunny seems to have prepared pretty well on that. For a first time speech, that was pretty good work there. It looks like she's taking well to this whole situation although I have a feeling the reception for said speech might not end up going quite as well as she would've hoped here.

"Excuse me, I'm not your side–"

Sunny elbowed Robert.

"And we're not retrieving, we're just gathering info–"

Sunny elbowed him a little harder.


Ahhh I think I've mentioned this before, but ahhh I love this dynamic. It is the somewhat classic quest duo, but it never quite gets old especially when re done with something a little new like this.

The error guardian was dressed in bright colors, similar to Professor Polly. His sky-blue suit featured a stripe of lightning yellow and his shoes looked like they'd be golden if the dirt was rubbed off of them. Come to think of it… the rest of his outfit wasn't perfectly clean either. When Sunny looked closer, she could see that the shoulders of the suit were fraying, and Eniac's hair looked a little droopy on the sides. Was this a result of the descriptions escaping? The guardian was rather short as well, although Sunny wasn't sure that could be attributed to the errors.

She bent down slightly and offered her hand to Eniac for a handshake. "Nice to meet you, esteemed error guardian. I'm Sunny."

"Eniac." Eniac shook her hand firmly. "See, Rudolph? Some respect goes a long way." Sunny nodded in agreement. Rule number 13 said to treat all magical creatures politely, lest they blasted you to smithereens or did something equally unpleasant.


Well that actually worked a lot better than I really expected that speech to. I must say I am impressed there Sunny. I also adore that line where Eniac talks about being polite. Definitely something you don't see enough in quests these days. And these rules, well I've gushed about them enough by now I suppose.

"It's Robert," the robot grumbled.

Eniac waved his hand dismissively, then reached into a pocket and pulled out a pair of yellow earbuds. "Here's the translator you asked for, Sunny. This is an older version, but still, please return them to me unscathed."

Sunny nodded and took them gratefully, placing them into her ears.


AHh, I look forward to seeing some hilarious mistranslations to come with this one. The potential is amazing, especially if these are even older versions that Eniac's. Of course this is also a lovely solution to the problem where Sunny otherwise would have to always rely on Robert to communicate with anyone.

"So, Sunny, what do you require my assistance with, other than the translator?" To Sunny's delight, Eniac's voice came through in English. She didn't have to rely on Robert for translations now.

"How come you get her name right?" Robert sulked.

Sunny stuck her tongue out at Robert, then smiled politely at Eniac. "I was hoping to learn more about the incompatible types error, as well as what exactly has been happening to the error guardians."


Well, it seems Sunny is going straight to the point there. We do love to see that. Hopefully the error guardian isn't too far gone, although clearly the earlier description did suggest that somethings had started to go wrong here.

"Ah." Eniac's expression turned sober. "Yes, of course, I can help with that. But first… would you like to watch a performance by my variapets? I find that it's easier to talk about depressing topics after a lively performance."

Sunny glanced around the rest of the backyard and caught sight of a little stage set up in the middle. A couple of boxy variapets were scampering around it. "Oh, I'd love to! I'd appreciate learning more about variapets as well… Robert didn't deign to tell me anything about them."

Eniac tsked sadly. "Robert, how could you? You should never pass up an opportunity to impart useful information to an interested listener."


Well that's good news, because I definitely need to learn about variapets and see they can do but I do have to say I find this deflection towards the show a little bit suspicious here. I have a feeling there's something there that Eniac's trying his best to hide.

Sunny walked over to the stage and took a seat on the grass as Eniac crouched by the variapets and whispered encouragement to them. Then he stood up and flourished his arms.

"Welcome, one and all, to Eniac and the Variapets' Show Spectacular!"

Sunny clapped enthusiastically.

"Now, let me take a moment to introduce our performers." Eniac gestured to a fluffy green variapet. "This is the one, the only, Ingrid the Integer! She'll store integers greater than you've ever seen before. She'll perform addition and subtraction in a matter of milliseconds. Prepare to be amazed by Ingrid's inspiring, intriguing, incredible acts!" The variapet cartwheeled onto the stage and danced about on little legs. Sunny oohed and aahed.


Well this quickly turned into a full on circus almost complete with a crowd to do the cheering and honestly I am not going to complain here, especially because I need to see how integers are going to be turned into a happiness inducing live performance.

"Next up, we have Debbie the Double! She'll do everything Ingrid did, but with a twist– Debbie specializes in decimals. Get ready for her double-tastic daring deeds!" A pink variapet joined Ingrid on the stage and jumped up and down.

"And then we have Bobby the Boolean. He'll answer true or false questions faster than you can blink. Boo to boredom!" A variapet that flashed between the colors orange and blue climbed up on stage.

"Finally, we have Charlie the Character. He'll sing the alphabet song!" A yellow variapet rolled onstage. "Don't be fooled by his simple appearance. He can store all kinds of characters too– even numbers and punctuation."

Eniac did jazz hands. "Give it up for our performers!"

Sunny cheered them on. "Woo-hoo!"

"Now then. The show will start with a feat of mathematics featuring Innnngriiiiid!"


Ahhh well that's certainly quite the show there. I can't wait to see what madness manages to pour forth from that. I am definitely cheering right along with Sunny so far at this show. All the performers certainly seem to have quite a lot of potential here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, I am so far loving where this is headed. You're really leaning into the whole idea of this world so well in the most random of ways and I'm loving it. You've so far balanced it well with all the actual quest related stuff so we're always left with the newest bit of information simmering in the background as the other bits unfold.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Thu Nov 24, 2022 8:51 am
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Liminality wrote a review...



Hey mint! Lim here with a short review.

First Impressions

This was a cute chapter! I love the introduction of Eniac and the variapets. I wonder what’s going on with Robert? Hmm maybe he didn’t recharge fully? Or is it something else? I also enjoy Sunny’s enthusiasm for the variapets and Eniac wanting to do a performance with them before getting back on topic.

Characters

Something I liked in this chapter was the characterization, because each character felt vivid and distinct. I like how you keep the characters in motion, for example:

There was silence for a moment, then without any warning, a head of electric-blue hair popped up over the fence. Two narrowed eyes squinted down at Robert and Sunny.

Eniac moves around very suddenly like this, which reminds me a bit of a cartoon character, and so makes him stand out (and the blue hair does, too!). In general, the descriptions of how the characters are moving helps keep things really lively.
"Eniac." Eniac shook her hand firmly. "See, Rudolph? Some respect goes a long way."

I also like that I can tell Eniac is proud of himself and what he does, not just when he’s talking about it directly but also in interactions like the above.
"Yeah, yeah." Robert floated over to a tree in the corner of the backyard. "Wake me up when you're done. I think a lack of sleep is making me grouchier than usual." He muttered, "It's either that or having to deal with people…" Without any further ado, the robot powered off.

Relatable, Robert xD Not sure if I mentioned this before, but having Robert be a less bubbly and more grounded character than Sunny definitely produces a more interesting dynamic between the two. I’m not sure if their frenemy-ship will change in the future though – at this point it kind of feels like they’ve settled into a slightly bickering pattern.
Sunny stuck her tongue out at Robert, then smiled politely at Eniac. "I was hoping to learn more about the incompatible types error, as well as what exactly has been happening to the error guardians."

I do like that Sunny is a bit ‘mean’ to Robert, as it gives more nuance to her personality.

Setting

Variable Village seemed to be composed of a mixture of boxy houses and shacks connected by rough roads. She saw some people walking down the streets, accompanied by some fluffy creatures.

I really like the idea of Variable Village. One of my favourite little details was the fact that there was a text label floating above Eniac’s house, like in a video game. I thought that was a nice touch that really reminds the reader of the coding theme. I kind of wish we had a bit more description of what the village looks like as a whole. Like, what’s the weather like? Are the clouds cube-shaped too?
I enjoyed how you matched the different variable types to the variapets. It’s impressive that you managed to give each on an alliterative name, and I like how their appearances sometimes match their characteristics, for example, Bobby having two colours.

Overall

This chapter leaves me eager to see what’s next, not just for the variapets’ performances (and maybe what they might have to do with the plot?) but also for what Eniac has to say about the error descriptions.

Hope this helps and feel free to ask for more feedback!
-Lim




Spearmint says...


Thank you so much for the review, Lim!! ^-^
Eniac moves around very suddenly like this, which reminds me a bit of a cartoon character, and so makes him stand out (and the blue hair does, too!).

Yes!! And yay, I'm glad you found the characters lively! :]

I kind of wish we had a bit more description of what the village looks like as a whole. Like, what%u2019s the weather like? Are the clouds cube-shaped too?

Ooh, those are some good questions! Truth is, I didn't really flesh out the village well enough in my mind, so I didn't describe it fully... >.> But I'll make sure to add more description later!

Thank you again for the helpful review and have a wonderful day/night! =D <3



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Snoink wrote a review...



Robert glanced at the manual Sunny was holding. "Hum. Perhaps the paragraph on incompatible types slipped out when you weren't looking. Weren't you listening earlier? Error descriptions have been escaping their books and flying to Spaghetti Code mountain."


WAIT.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT.

WHAT.

THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS ARE AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Like, I know that they decorated with punctuation... but it looked pretty, so why not? Then I was surprised to see them eating HASHbrowns. But I thought that it was just funny. Then when Adelia (have I mentioned yet that I like that name? Because I love that name!) talked about using a bus with food, I realized that these symbols were important.

But like... this kind of implies that these symbols and punctuation and letters and everything else are not just... there... and exist. But instead, it implies that they must have some sort of sentience! Which is a crazy idea, because if they are sentient, what does this mean??? Will they be like minions that Sunny gets to face? Kind of like reanimated monsters who don't really have any power, but are summoned by some sort of big bad? Are they actually sentient and running away from the people that use them because they feel as if they are enslaved???

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???????

Robert shrugged and offered no further comment on the matter.


Is... this... guilt? *raises eyebrows*

For the rest of the ride, she stared at the vehicles passing their cart and wondered how exactly one would go about catching errors. She didn't suppose it was as simple as waving a butterfly net in the air…


I mean. I would be like... looking around suspiciously trying to see if any letters or symbols were bouncing out of the cart or whatever because I AM SO SUSPICIOUS.


Robert thanked him in Javalandian, and Sunny eagerly hopped out of the cart and stretched her legs.


So he doesn't automatically translate everything!

"Eniac's the error guardian?" Sunny shifted the backpack higher on her shoulders.


WAIT. I thought she left her traveling backpack at home??? Or did she get one when she set off from Polly and Adelia's house??? Or did I miss something in my sleep deprived haze yesterday????? *goes to check*

EDIT: OH. YOU DID MENTION IT:

When breakfast was over, Professor Polymorphism handed Sunny the bag she'd requested the day before and listed some of its contents: food, water, books, and an extra battery for Robert.


Honestly, I would probably make a bigger deal out of her getting her travel backpack... like, make her excited that she has it. :)

Sunny ran to catch up. "Wait, that didn't answer my question! What are variapets? And can I pet one?"


How are the variapets acting like around her, since she is the only Earthling around? Are they regarding her any differently? Do they keep on trying to sniff her or something? Does she want to pet them just because they seem to be regarding her in a friendly manner?

As Sunny sketched the building,


...why is she sketching the building? Will her sketches disappear too?

Robert frowned. "Let's check the backyard."


WAIT. Is this a good idea?? I would hesitate to intrude on a Guardian's house, LOL. Maybe you should have Robert mention that he likes to stay outside so that it seems normal and not completely shady, lol. (Also, when I first read it, I was a bit afraid he disappeared??? MAYBE HE WAS KIDNAPPED SINCE THE ERRORS DID IT. OH NOES.)

"Eniac? It's me, Robert, with a guest."

There was silence for a moment, then without any warning, a head of electric-blue hair popped up over the fence. Two narrowed eyes squinted down at Robert and Sunny. "Eh? You're going to rob me of my quest?"

Robert muttered something that sounded like, "I hate repeating myself. Especially when I know he understood me the first time."


This would be funny in a movie, but it was a bit confusing in print for some reason...

Consider either changing taking it out OR changing it a bit more so that it is incredibly obvious. So like...

"Eniac? It's me, Robert, with a guest."

There was silence for a moment, then without any warning, a head of electric-blue hair popped up over the fence. Two narrowed eyes squinted down at Robert and Sunny. "Eh? You're going to rob me of my quest?"

Robert muttered something that sounded like, "I hate repeating myself."

"You hate being an elf?"

"Eniac! Stop doing that!"

"Stop being a bat?"

"Stop being a brat, more like," Robert muttered to himself.

Eniac narrowed his eyes. "WHAT DID YOU SAY???"


Like. Just amp up the ridiculousness so that it becomes incredibly clear that this is a joke. It'll translate better that way. :)

Sunny decided to step in. "Hello, esteemed error guardian! My name is Sunny, and no stealing of quests will be going on here. In fact, I and my trusted sidekick Robert are on an important quest to retrieve the error descriptions right now. Would you kindly lend us your aid?"

"Excuse me, I'm not your side–"

Sunny elbowed Robert.

"And we're not retrieving, we're just gathering info–"

Sunny elbowed him a little harder.

Eniac stared at Sunny and hummed for a good thirty seconds. There was a faint yapping from the other side of the fence. Suddenly he ducked his head below fence level again, and before Sunny knew it, the fence was swinging inward to let her and Robert in. Eniac quickly closed the fence behind them.


I would probably put their official meeting here. Like, make him go, "I like you. My name is Eniac." That way, Sunny doesn't have to introduce herself twice.

Sunny decided to step in. "Hello, esteemed error guardian! My name is Sunny, and no stealing of quests will be going on here. In fact, I and my trusted sidekick Robert are on an important quest to retrieve the error descriptions right now. Would you kindly lend us your aid?"

She bent down slightly and offered her hand to Eniac for a handshake. "Nice to meet you, esteemed error guardian. I'm Sunny."


You should combine these two scenes together!

"Eniac." Eniac shook her hand firmly. "See, Rudolph? Some respect goes a long way." Sunny nodded in agreement. Rule number 13 said to treat all magical creatures politely, lest they blasted you to smithereens or did something equally unpleasant.

"It's Robert," the robot grumbled.


I love these lines individually, but they seem jumbled up... I would probably write it as...

"Eniac." Eniac shook her hand firmly. "See, Rudolph? Some respect goes a long way."

"It's Robert," the robot grumbled.

Sunny nodded in agreement. Rule number 13 said to treat all magical creatures politely, lest they blasted you to smithereens or did something equally unpleasant.


Though, I might add some more inner dialogue in Sunny as she seems as though she would be secretly pleased to see her being right and Robert being wrong with his rudeness, lol. Schadenfreude!

But first… would you like to watch a performance by my variapets?


SEE? This is one of the reasons why I want to see how variapets react to Sunny, lol. In fact, it would be funny if Eniac's variapets got really excited to see her. It could be yet another reason why Eniac decides that Sunny is Good People, lol, whereas Robert is just annoying, lol.

"Finally, we have Charlie the Character. He'll sing the alphabet song!" A yellow variapet rolled onstage. "Don't be fooled by his simple appearance. He can store all kinds of characters too– even numbers and punctuation."


WAIT. Can he gather the lost characters that are disappearing???

Hahaha, this is all so random. Let's see the show!




Spearmint says...


Hehe, thanks for all the reviewwsss!! ^-^
But instead, it implies that they must have some sort of sentience! Which is a crazy idea, because if they are sentient, what does this mean??? Will they be like minions that Sunny gets to face? Kind of like reanimated monsters who don't really have any power, but are summoned by some sort of big bad? Are they actually sentient and running away from the people that use them because they feel as if they are enslaved???

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???????

LOL I love all your theories!! XDD (The summoning may or may not be correct... we'll see about the other ones, though ;))

Honestly, I would probably make a bigger deal out of her getting her travel backpack... like, make her excited that she has it. :)

Ooh, good idea! That's true... getting the backpack makes the quest more official, so Sunny would be excited xD

How are the variapets acting like around her, since she is the only Earthling around? Are they regarding her any differently?

Hm, so I was thinking the variapets were some distance away, but now I realize that doesn't make sense because they're all walking on the same streets... They're probably curious about Sunny, although I'd imagine most of them are friendly to all strangers! *Makes a note to edit that when I have more brainpower*

(Also, when I first read it, I was a bit afraid he disappeared??? MAYBE HE WAS KIDNAPPED SINCE THE ERRORS DID IT. OH NOES.)

Omg. XDD That's def a good idea, though (having Robert mention something, maybe about his variapets show, not the kidnapping XD although the kidnapping would be hilarious...).

Like. Just amp up the ridiculousness so that it becomes incredibly clear that this is a joke. It'll translate better that way. :)

Ooh! I love the impromptu scene you came up with. xD Thanks for the feedback!

Hahaha, this is all so random. Let's see the show!

Yeah, I'm totally making most of this up as I go along. I had a general list of things to cover, but the show was something I came up with on the spot... xD We'll see if it works out. >.>

Thank you so so much for the reviews, Snoink!! They're all extremely helpful and fun to read. :3 Until next time!! <333




i got called an enigma once so now i purposefully act obtuse
— chikara

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