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E - Everyone

Song

by legendarycomputerpoetry


Sometimes my

Only consolation is

Never running to

Grotesque ends.


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1333 Reviews


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Fri Oct 28, 2022 6:53 am
Hannah wrote a review...



You mention that the meaning of this poem is left up to the reader, so I'll tell you what it means to me. It means that I feel like I'm a good person because I never tried to kill myself even though life is hard.

Also, I see why you've made the title SONG, as it shows the beginning letter of each line, but... it doesn't make me want to read the poem and doesn't add anything to the poem after I've read it, so I'm wondering if you might consider changing the title for that reason.

I think that you could also take away the capitalization at the beginning of each line and just let it be capitalized like a regular sentence -- otherwise the capital letters kind of break up the way I read the lines in my head and make it feel unnatural to me.

I hope these ideas are helpful to you. Just brief opinions on a brief poem.

Let me know if you have any questions or comments by replying here or messaging me.

Hannah




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Thu Oct 06, 2022 12:15 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



This is an interesting little thing that you wrote. The title is “Song” and the actual writing piece talks about being afraid of the end. Could it be that the narrator looks at life as a happy-go-lucky song, which has a sweet as sugar ending to it? And then when dark times arise, to repeat the same song over and over and over again? That’s for us, the readers to decide. I would like to see an expansion of this, because there is so much lore that could come from this story…

I wish you a wonderful day/night.






thank you for your comment! i do not intend of expanding on this. its just a little vent poem, which its meaning is exactly what you said: up to the reader. again, many thanks!




fun fact i hear my evil twin once wrote a story about a hacker who used the name fyshi33k bc there are 33k-ish species of fish and she liked phishing so fyshi-33k made sense but then she got super embarrassed when someone forced her to explain
— VyperShadow