z

Young Writers Society


Violence

Assassin's Heart - Ch8

by WishIHadASword


Recap: She nodded and swallowed. “I-I see. Thanks a lot for the pep-talk, Arthur.”

He winked at her, and she couldn’t bolt from the room fast enough.

~~~

     The tight apartment elevator played “All I Have To Do Is Dream” by The Everly Brothers as she walked inside it, which almost made her burst out laughing. It was a sweet song, but she couldn’t hear it without having flashbacks of her mother making 14-year-old Blake sing it at the Charlotte Family Thanksgiving Talent Show Extravaganza—which is what Amanda had called it ever since that night.

     She got lost thinking about the carefree memory as the elevator descended. Her mom and dad had always loved that song and danced to it on their anniversary, and sometimes her dad sang it to her and her sister as a lullaby. Blake hadn’t realized he’d need to bring a talent when the Charlotte’s had invited him to their Thanksgiving, poor guy. And though he had many others, her mom insisted that he grab the guitar and learn the song in half an hour. He’d totally blown Amanda’s off-key performance of “We Belong Together” by Mariah Carey out of the water, although he was red-faced for the rest of the night. Even her older sister Diora had admitted that if there was a winner for the talent show, it would’ve been Blake.

     The sound of the doors sliding open startled her, and her heart felt heavy as she realized that she was surrounded by assassins and not her family. She jogged down the hall to a thick metal door by the kitchen, which she heaved open and slammed closed behind her.

     Her breathing was rapid at the thought of continuing that train-wreck conversation she’d been having with the Rune twins earlier, but she needed to smooth things over if she wanted to stay here. Besides, she’d started to grow attached to them. She may even call them friends. At the very least, they seemed to trust her, and she couldn’t ruin that.

     Her eyes scanned the storage closet she’d entered that was full of metal racks, extra bedding, and washing machines—but had a surprising lack of weapons and bodies. It took her a moment to locate the large trapdoor, but eventually she kicked some dusty pillows aside and found the thick iron handle to pull it up. Her arms strained, but she succeeded in fully opening it and beginning the descent down a damp, dark, winding staircase.

     It smelled like death in the narrow space, which was slightly concerning considering where she was at the moment. But nonetheless she hurried down two treacherous steps at a time, using the rounded brick walls to brace herself. Dim circular lights flickered from in the declining ceiling, making her heart skip a beat. She wondered how long this staircase had been below this apartment.

     Finally, Amanda reached the bottom, but her stomach dropped as she noticed the face-scanner next to the door. Would it even work for her, considering she wasn’t an official assassin yet? She tugged on the handle of the door, but it didn’t budge. Amanda grunted and kicked the door, immediately grabbing her throbbing foot afterward. Why was she acting like an idiot? Kicking doors wasn’t going to do anything helpful for her.

     As she was whimpering over her foot, the door suddenly opened so fast and hard that it slammed into the brick wall. Amanda jumped back to move out of the way of the girl standing there, but they both ended up just standing there in a stalemate.

     The unfamiliar girl looked ghostly pale against the dark brick backdrop, and her vibrant blue hair was loosely tied into a stub of a ponytail. Amanda’s light green eyes were drastically different from this girl’s irises of coal, and the look was complete with a loose Guns N’ Roses tank top that showed off her muscular arms, and piercings in her eyebrow and nose.

     Amanda stuttered for a few seconds under her threatening gaze until she finally spit out, “You aren’t wearing a uniform, is that allowed?”

     It wasn’t what Blue-Hair was expecting her to say. She looked down at her tank top and sweatpants. “Uhh…it’s dinner time. We can change out of our uniforms. Are you new or something?”

     “Yeah, I’m Amanda! And you are?”

     She attempted to smooth the dark circles under her eyes. “McLaine. How are you a red if you just started?”

     Amanda gasped and smiled. “Oh, so you’re McLaine! You’re Robbie’s roommate and you have a pet spider named Jared! Nice to meet you, and to answer your question, I’m just borrowing Robbie’s uniform real quickly. I’m a yellow.”

     McLaine looked confused for a moment, then shook her head. “Cool. I’m starving, so uh, bye.”

     Amanda waved goodbye and rushed past. Now she needed to find the twins quickly so that she could fix everything and tell Robbie the story she told Hansen before they went to meet with him.

     Two separate times she heard someone yell “incoming!” as she bolted to the other side of the training room, and both times she dropped to the ground just before a knife or ax flew past. How could Blake have survived through this? She found herself thinking as she turned into the hallway. He was unbelievably tough, but this place didn’t seem like a great environment to spend your teen years in.

     A couple of people walked out of the locker rooms, now wearing their normal clothes instead of their uniforms. But past all of them, Kaden leaned against the wall and looked at his shoes, now wearing a NYC sweatshirt over a white dress shirt and cuffed jeans. A few seconds after she noticed him and started to walk over, Robbie strolled out of the locker room still wearing her ripped jeans and military jacket, and they crashed right into each other.

     Robbie caught Amanda by her elbows, hoisting her up before realizing who she was. Her amber eyes immediately looked towards her brother, who was already beside her.

     “Get yourself out of here, Amanda—we don’t need your drama at the moment,” Robbie spat. “C’mon, Kaden.”

     “My drama…?” She trailed with a raised eyebrow. Oh…she doesn’t believe what I said about Blake.

     They started to walk away, but Amanda lunged and grabbed the back of Kaden’s dark blue sweatshirt. He spun around and gently removed her hand, letting it drop to her side and giving her a sympathetic look like she was an upset toddler. It made him look ten years older.

     Robbie sneered and stepped in front of Kaden, pushing her back in the process. “Touch him again and you lose that pretty manicured hand, Barbie. I said get out.”

     Kaden opened his mouth to speak, but Amanda beat him to it, holding her hands up in defense. “Just hold on, please! I need to explain myself and…and Blake.”

      That got their attention. And even if they hadn’t looked alike, anyone would’ve been able to tell the two were twins by the identical troubled expressions they made.

     Amanda tugged on the collar of her uniform, forcing air into her lungs. She just needed one last look around the deserted hallway, and then she felt confident enough to share some of the story.

      “Well…Blake was my best friend. Had been ever since 7th grade gym class when he accidently hit me in the head with his basketball and had to take me to the nurse,” She reminisced with a small smile, recalling how after he’d taken her to the nurse they’d skipped the rest of class and talked the entire time. “You obviously know that Blake worked here. We wrote letters to each other while he was here and—”

     “Wrote letters?” Robbie narrowed her eyes, but the corners of her lips twitched like she wanted to smile. “That’s definitely not allowed. Never imagined Thornton would defy direct orders.”

     Amanda looked down, her smile fading slightly. You’d be surprised, Robbie. “Yeah, well, in those letters he said that…he said that he was going to—” her voice caught and she wrung her hands. Her gaze drifted from one twin to the other, and Kaden moved his sister aside to brush Amanda’s hand like he could tell she was on the verge of tears.

      “He said he was going to die,” she finally finished. A lump formed in her throat, but she swallowed it down. Cool it, Amanda. This isn’t news. It’s just the bitter truth. History.

     For the first time, Robbie’s practiced stoic expression broke and she looked horrified. She grabbed fistfulls of the front of Kaden’s sweater and her whole body shook. “Oh my go—Kaden, what if Blake is really dead?” She cried out, and with wide eyes, he put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed her arms up and down to console her.

     Kaden looked over her shoulder to Amanda, his bright eyes showing concern through his glasses. “All we know is that one morning we all woke up and Arthur was running around looking for Blake. No one could find him, and Hansen wouldn’t talk to any of us. Do you know—” He glanced at Robbie who was staring blankly at the New York logo on his sweatshirt, and then lowered his voice. “Do you know what happened to him?”

     She couldn’t tell them all the details. Not yet. She needed to stay with Group 13 so she could find out for herself what really happened. “No, I don’t. I just had to come here in his memory. This place…it was all he had, truly.”

     Robbie spun around, looking as if her little freak-out hadn’t happened at all. “We have to get Hansen to tell us what happened. He can’t be dead, not Blake Thornton. He would assassinate Death. I’ll talk to Hansen, Kaden and I are supposed to be meeting with him right now, anyway.”

     “Wait!” She yelped. The twins stared, and she rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “I still need to tell you the story I made up in case Hansen asks. Y’know, how I supposedly found this place?”

     Robbie rolled her eyes. “Right. Let’s hear what you came up with.”

     Amanda recounted the tale she’d told about how she’d been looking for an apartment and found Robbie. Kaden found the story hilarious, but his sister didn’t find it all that amusing. Once she was sure she’d included all the important details, Robbie sighed.

     “Yeah, okay Barbie. I guess I can work with that as long as I can make up an excuse for why I was standing outside the apartment talking to strangers. You owe me big time.”

      She smiled. “I know I do, big time.”

     Robbie saluted and Kaden waved, and the two walked down the hallway to Hansen’s office. After sharing a special twin look, they walked inside, and Amanda turned around and groaned. It was probably time to start that huge recruitment packet. Joy.


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Thu Aug 11, 2022 5:41 pm
Spearmint wrote a review...



Hiya, it's mint, (finally) here with a review! ^^' Sorry it took me a while, but I'm here now, and ready to jump back into Amanda's adventures! And ooh, it looks like we have a new character too... Exciting!! =D

Even her older sister Diora had admitted that if there was a winner for the talent show, it would’ve been Blake.

Aww, I love this memory. :') I agree with RandomTalks-- it makes me feel for Amanda, and it brings more depth to Amanda and Blake's relationship. It sounds like they had some good times together. C:

It took her a moment to locate the large trapdoor, but eventually she kicked some dusty pillows aside and found the thick iron handle to pull it up.

This is just a random thought, but now I'm wondering how all the other assassin students get around... It seems like it'd be a lot of work to remove and replace the pillows all the time, lol. Are there secret passages in this place, perhaps? :3

Why was she an idiot? Kicking doors wasn’t going to do anything helpful for her.

I mean, it might release some frustration? xD

Amanda jumped back to move out of the way of the girl standing there, but they both stood frozen in a stalemate.

Just a small thing here-- I don't quite understand how Amanda could jump back and freeze at the same time. Did she jump back, then freeze? Or perhaps she only was about to jump back? Tiny wording thing! ^^

“You aren’t wearing a uniform, is that allowed?”

Oh wonderful, Amanda, try and insinuate that the assassin is breaking the rules, great idea. =P Though at least it's better than begging the assassin not to kill her. xD

McLaine looked confused for a moment, then shook her head. “Cool. I’m starving, so uh, bye.”

Okay, my thoughts on McLaine: she seems chill. I bet she can be fierce when needed, but in general, it seems like she just goes with the flow. Although I am curious about those dark circles... Does she train all night, or sneak out, or is she just tired? >.>
Anyways, I like that you're introducing more assassins! It adds to the feel of this being a whole community. I can't wait to see any other characters you have planned! :]

Had been ever since 7th grade gym class when he accidently hit me in the head with his basketball and had to take me to the nurse,

Oof. I've gotten a nosebleed from getting hit in the face by a basketball before, so I can relate. XD

He would assassinate Death.

Ahh, Robbie has a lot of confidence in Blake. I wonder what happened to him? :S He said he was tracking down a killer, but... there must be something more. Is this organization corrupt or something? >.>

It was probably time to start that huge recruitment packet. Joy.

Lol, good luck with that, Amanda!

Overall, I enjoyed reading this chapter, and I'm excited for the next one! Have a wonderful day/night! =D






Thank youuu! Your feedback is so helpful and motivating haha, and its been a bit but I'll definitely get cracking on that next chapter!



Spearmint says...


:D I look forward to it! <3



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Mon Aug 08, 2022 3:29 pm
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RandomTalks wrote a review...



Hey!

I had no idea the next chapter was out, so I am a little late with the review!

This was a pretty solid continuation of the story! I am very glad that the trio made up as I have grown quite fond of them in a surprisingly short span of time. I think what makes them work is the different dynamics each of them bring to the group, and I love how distinctive all of their personalities are. You highlight these unique mannerisms, these small inconsequential moments in between dialogues that make us pause and say - yes, Robbie would have done that; or, that is so like Kaden! I feel more engaged in the story because of how clearly I can associate the characters with their dialogues and their little scenes.

Poor Blake hadn’t realized he’d need to bring a talent when the Charlotte’s had invited him to their Thanksgiving, and though he had many others, her mom insisted that he grab the guitar and learn the song in half an hour.

Technically, there is nothing wrong with this sentence. I just that it goes on for too long. Especially, if you put it in context with the rest of the paragraph, you will realize that most of the sentences here are a little long and have much to say. So I think if you shorten the length of this one a bit and divide it in two, you can bring in some variation and make it easier for the readers to connect with the memory.

That said, I loved this trip down memory lane. I really appreciate you giving us this glimpses of the relationship between them - not only does it establish the two characters more firmly but it also makes me invest in Blake's story and want to figure out what actually happened to him. There is also that emotional connection with Amanda, and we cannot help but feel for her every time she reminisces about her lost friend.

and her heart felt heavy as she realized that she was surrounded by assassin’s and not her family.

This is really just a nitpick, but lose the apostrophe in 'assassin's'. You don't need it!

Why was she an idiot?

I think the question you have posed here is more of a generalized one and since it is a direct thought of Amanda's, I think it works better as, "Why was she being an idiot?"

The assassin she’d never met looked ghostly pale against the dark brick backdrop,

Again, there is nothing technically wrong here, but I think you could state the fact that Amanda was unfamiliar with the assassin in a less direct way and in a later context where it feels more natural. Because of the way you have put it, the first description we get of this new character is that she is an "assassin she'd never met" and it kind of broke the flow for me.

Also, I believe because of this introduction and the fact that she is Robbie's roommate, this new character is going to assume a bigger role in the story at some point in the future?

She reminisced with a little giggle,

Now since this is a fairly emotional moment taking us back to the moment Amanda and Blake first met, I don't think 'giggle' really fits the mood of the conversation going on. People generally reminisce with a 'soft smile' and I think it is more appropriate for this context, considering that this is bittersweet memory that makes her feel happy and sad at the same time.

That's all!

Keep writing and have a great day!

Until next time!






Thank you so much, I'll definitely fix some stuff up and get working on the next chapter!



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Sun Jul 24, 2022 3:02 am
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Spearmint says...



Woot new chapter! :D Am currently busy with YWS roleplay month shenanigans xD but I will definitely give this a review sometime soon!! ^-^






Haha, thanks! Have fun with roleplaying ;)




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