Young Writers Society

When the time of autumn comes,I swear I can smell something.I feel like the season has a certain smell to it.Another thing,Halloween.I get so excited for the holiday.Watching the movies,wearing the costumes,looking at the decorations,getting the bakery treats.I don’t really like candy or scary movies,but that’s just me.Lovely poem reflecting autumn.I hope that you will have a fantastic day and night.

Hi Moonglade! We meet in the review section simply because I loved you poem way too much to shut up.

You combined seeing with hearing and created a fantastic landscape. One with deep blue skies, stars like crowns, where owls and cicadas create a lovely song to echo between the blades of grass.

The title doesn't really tie in the poem's content until the fourth stanza. The idea of cold in this setting is implied with the epithet "cold feet". Even though it was hinted in the description of the sky, we can't really feel it until this part, which is a lovely way to tie everything together, title and poem.

One thing I disliked was how monotone the first stanza felt. The article "the" is your friend in these situations. Use it in certain places to add a distinct flavor to your poem. When repeating a/an it feels rushed and detaches the poet/voice which sees and presents this from the poem. Simply saying "The blue midnight sky/ crowns my ..." adds a lot more depth to the poem. "an old brown owl" is alright but saying it cries "a mournful song" brings back the feeling I mentioned above. You can say "its mournful song" or simply "mournful song".

Loved the poem, feel free to ask me more or ignore my advice, because poetry is all about freedom and one can't tell you what to do. But if you listen you might find some things to up your poems a level or two

Hi Moonglade!
I love this poem! Honestly, it's perfect for me because my favorite season is fall and even though I'm currently loving the sun and the warmth, I'm definitely looking forward to those cooler days with the beautifully colored leaves and that unmistakable autumn feel. You did a fantastic job with imagery and vivid descriptions and I can practically imagine myself in the moment. My favorite descriptions are "a mournful song that blankets the night with soft grace" and "wrists twisted inwards like a ballerina daring to poise and dance". Those are absolute beautiful lines! I'm a big fan of rhyme schemes because I think they help to add to a flow of a poem and make it read more easily and sound well put together so I am very glad that you added one, it works very nicely! I also like how you added a lot of audio descriptions like "cooes and cries", "mournful song", "crackle", "snap and crack", "smack", never-ending drone", and "silently". I think it adds to the imagery and taking the reader to the moment idea really well. Great job with this poem! I look forward to reading more of your works! Good luck and happy writing!

Good morning/afternoon/evening.

I really liked your poem! It was the title, that caught my eye at first. Really draws people in! I love the imagery that you incorporate in your poem. It really allows the reader to picture what is happening, and it really gives substance to the tone you are trying to convey. Speaking of tone, I love the peacefulness tour poem conveys. The slow, but inevitable turn off time, and the peacefulness of forests getting ready to sleep.

I think my favorite line, what is this; “An old brown owl cooes and cries/A mournful song that blankets the night with soft grace” such a haunting line. It may not be rich in imagery, but it does allow the reader to almost hear barn owl’s delicate song. The descriptive language, in this line, is incredible. The rhyme scheme of this stanza matches perfectly, and the hauntingness of this one line, for me, really brought the whole poem together.

I really didn’t have very many critiques. The only thing I really noticed was sometimes the rhyme scheme was a little off. It doesn’t really matter, because it doesn’t draw away from the poem as a whole, but I was unable to ignore it. Anyways, I really loved your poem and hope to see more of your work around soon. Stay safe, and keep writing!

-Lizzy

Hi it's Gem here for a review!
I am a tad rusty so don't mind that.
I will do my best.

I love the piece, the atmosphere is very beautiful and interesting. The otomatopoeia is a more unique choice and the fact that you made it rhyme is I think a good choice. It is catchy. You describe everything vividly and the colors seem to hang in the air. It feels like time has stopped to let you pass it in an enchanted forest. Loud darkness may not be an oxymoron but it feels like one, darkness is usually portrayed as still and silent, the word choice gives the piece a different feel.

I love your poem. Though I think if you wanted with your imagination you could make some thrilling free verse poetry. Don't be afraid to explore new styles and types of poetry. You are a good poet and I have faith that you can do anything you attempt, though practice helps you learn from your misgivings

Keep writing and being awesome!

This is Gem hoping back into The Finders <.<.

hiya, i'm penn, and ooooh, i like this.

there's a neat colorization in the beginning. everyone loves a perfect night sky, of course, but one that's deep blue evokes more emotion than a pitch black midnight. combined with owls and graceful songs establishes your atmosphere immediately, and you keep it up too.

you're entirely poem is wonderfully descriptive, and i hear and feel pretty much every one of them. it actually makes me wish i could go outside, if not for the mosquitoes or hundred degree weather.

all in all, i give this a glad two thumbs up!