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Is That Autumn I Hear?

by Moonglade


A deep blue midnight sky

Crowns my eyes, shining starlight on my cold face

An old brown owl cooes and cries

A mournful song that blankets the night with soft grace

***

My fingertips brush dewy glades of grass

Wrists twisted inwards like a ballerina daring to poise and dance

My delicate lips whisper to the tulips as an hourglass

Falls to the forest floor - I step onwards without a glance

***

Cicadas trill ever so quietly

As I tiptoe through the loud darkness

And rest tiredly

On a tree's crackle of branches flowerless

***

Even the snap and crack

Of sticks and shattered stones

Sown under my cold feet seems to smack

Into my ears in a never-ending drone

***

And with a pale finger upon my lips

I let the leaves flutter from their hollow branches

Like dandelion wings as into the wind they slip

And away they silently dance


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351 Reviews


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Sat Jul 02, 2022 7:55 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



When the time of autumn comes,I swear I can smell something.I feel like the season has a certain smell to it.Another thing,Halloween.I get so excited for the holiday.Watching the movies,wearing the costumes,looking at the decorations,getting the bakery treats.I don’t really like candy or scary movies,but that’s just me.Lovely poem reflecting autumn.I hope that you will have a fantastic day and night.




Moonglade says...


Thank you so much, Vampricorne!



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Tue Jun 28, 2022 12:43 pm
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Buranko wrote a review...



Hi Moonglade! We meet in the review section simply because I loved you poem way too much to shut up.

You combined seeing with hearing and created a fantastic landscape. One with deep blue skies, stars like crowns, where owls and cicadas create a lovely song to echo between the blades of grass.

The title doesn't really tie in the poem's content until the fourth stanza. The idea of cold in this setting is implied with the epithet "cold feet". Even though it was hinted in the description of the sky, we can't really feel it until this part, which is a lovely way to tie everything together, title and poem.

One thing I disliked was how monotone the first stanza felt. The article "the" is your friend in these situations. Use it in certain places to add a distinct flavor to your poem. When repeating a/an it feels rushed and detaches the poet/voice which sees and presents this from the poem. Simply saying "The blue midnight sky/ crowns my ..." adds a lot more depth to the poem. "an old brown owl" is alright but saying it cries "a mournful song" brings back the feeling I mentioned above. You can say "its mournful song" or simply "mournful song".

Loved the poem, feel free to ask me more or ignore my advice, because poetry is all about freedom and one can't tell you what to do. But if you listen you might find some things to up your poems a level or two




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Fri Jun 24, 2022 3:44 am
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Queenie wrote a review...



Hi Moonglade!
I love this poem! Honestly, it's perfect for me because my favorite season is fall and even though I'm currently loving the sun and the warmth, I'm definitely looking forward to those cooler days with the beautifully colored leaves and that unmistakable autumn feel. You did a fantastic job with imagery and vivid descriptions and I can practically imagine myself in the moment. My favorite descriptions are "a mournful song that blankets the night with soft grace" and "wrists twisted inwards like a ballerina daring to poise and dance". Those are absolute beautiful lines! I'm a big fan of rhyme schemes because I think they help to add to a flow of a poem and make it read more easily and sound well put together so I am very glad that you added one, it works very nicely! I also like how you added a lot of audio descriptions like "cooes and cries", "mournful song", "crackle", "snap and crack", "smack", never-ending drone", and "silently". I think it adds to the imagery and taking the reader to the moment idea really well. Great job with this poem! I look forward to reading more of your works! Good luck and happy writing!




Moonglade says...


Thank you so much for the review, Queenie! I'm really that you enjoyed it! (I'm a big fan of Summer because of holiday and my birthday... hehehe... but I've always loved the beauty of Autumn.



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Mon Jun 20, 2022 5:35 pm
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LizzyTyler wrote a review...



Good morning/afternoon/evening.

I really liked your poem! It was the title, that caught my eye at first. Really draws people in! I love the imagery that you incorporate in your poem. It really allows the reader to picture what is happening, and it really gives substance to the tone you are trying to convey. Speaking of tone, I love the peacefulness tour poem conveys. The slow, but inevitable turn off time, and the peacefulness of forests getting ready to sleep.

I think my favorite line, what is this; “An old brown owl cooes and cries/A mournful song that blankets the night with soft grace” such a haunting line. It may not be rich in imagery, but it does allow the reader to almost hear barn owl’s delicate song. The descriptive language, in this line, is incredible. The rhyme scheme of this stanza matches perfectly, and the hauntingness of this one line, for me, really brought the whole poem together.

I really didn’t have very many critiques. The only thing I really noticed was sometimes the rhyme scheme was a little off. It doesn’t really matter, because it doesn’t draw away from the poem as a whole, but I was unable to ignore it. Anyways, I really loved your poem and hope to see more of your work around soon. Stay safe, and keep writing!

-Lizzy




Moonglade says...


Thank you so much for the review, Lizzy

I am really happy that you enjoyed the poem! I'm very pleased to hear you liked the tone - it has been something our English lessons have been focusing on quite recently. (Turns out I can name 41 "tone words" in five minutes for "You're beautiful" in a negative tone.) Ooo... I really like your interpretation of a forest about to sleep - I might use that as a reference for a poem.

I think that is my favourite line as well... it gives a slight tingling sensation. (It may have a good rhythm due to the alliteration and meter...) I think owls are so beautiful and peaceful, it really resonated with the tone for me. I'm glad you like the rhyme, I've been trying to experiment with rhythm and it makes it much easier.

Hm... that's a crit I was confused hadn't come up with. I used half-rhyme for this poem. This means it could be slightly 90% rhyme or less but not full rhyme as long as it sounds similar. For example, branch and dance and branches and dances rhyme but "branches" and "dance" is half-rhyme.

I'm really happy you liked it and am more than excited to post new works.

Moonglade



LizzyTyler says...


Oh, a half rhyme! I don%u2019t think I%u2019ve ever heard of that. That%u2019s really cool!



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Sat Jun 18, 2022 6:55 pm
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shatteredstones wrote a review...



Hi it's Gem here for a review!
I am a tad rusty so don't mind that.
I will do my best. :)

I love the piece, the atmosphere is very beautiful and interesting. The otomatopoeia is a more unique choice and the fact that you made it rhyme is I think a good choice. It is catchy. You describe everything vividly and the colors seem to hang in the air. It feels like time has stopped to let you pass it in an enchanted forest. Loud darkness may not be an oxymoron but it feels like one, darkness is usually portrayed as still and silent, the word choice gives the piece a different feel.

I love your poem. Though I think if you wanted with your imagination you could make some thrilling free verse poetry. Don't be afraid to explore new styles and types of poetry. You are a good poet and I have faith that you can do anything you attempt, though practice helps you learn from your misgivings

Keep writing and being awesome!

This is Gem hoping back into The Finders <.<.




Moonglade says...


Thank you so much for the review!

I found it much more insightful than many any other reviews I have received. I particularly liked your attention to deal and how you noted small details.

I really glad you liked the onomatopoeia. Recently I%u2019ve been working on meter and rhythm though I have much more experience with free verse poems. (Hoping to write one soon%u2026 maybe next time I can get myself stuck in your write-in. I was really trying out rhyme mostly for rhythm and I really wanted to try something ABAB CDCD etc. I%u2019m so glad you like the description and environment. I%u2019ve been doing a lot of work to create an environment in a poem. So that isn%u2019t so abstract, so you can cement yourself. I%u2019m really happy you like the poem! (I%u2019m up for a new style any time - unless it is like 6 or more stanzas of different rhyme or weird rhyme and weird meter. Thank you, it is vey heartwarming for me to receive such a wonder compliment!

Holding thumbs The Finders keep on running smoothly!

Moonglade



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Fri Jun 17, 2022 12:43 am
penngreen4776 wrote a review...



hiya, i'm penn, and ooooh, i like this.

there's a neat colorization in the beginning. everyone loves a perfect night sky, of course, but one that's deep blue evokes more emotion than a pitch black midnight. combined with owls and graceful songs establishes your atmosphere immediately, and you keep it up too.

you're entirely poem is wonderfully descriptive, and i hear and feel pretty much every one of them. it actually makes me wish i could go outside, if not for the mosquitoes or hundred degree weather.

all in all, i give this a glad two thumbs up!




Moonglade says...


Hello Penn!

I%u2019m really glad you liked it! (The colorisation is just thought in my head at the moment - if a blue is dark enough it is black - now I want to write a poem about that. Hahaha.) I%u2019m happy you liked the atmosphere! (I really did try to create a picture of the place and the sounds.)

I%u2019m really happy to hear that you liked the description and that it evoked a reaction. (I like the idea of buzzing mosquitoes, for some reason it sounds like it might work well in a poem if I could try and create an annoyed tone or maybe just a poem about sitting at a lake%u2019s edge.)

Yay! I just wanted to ask. Is there anything you think was a tiny bit rough and double be improved? Or anything you think sounded out of place?

Thank you so much for the review
Moonglade




Sometimes poetry is inspired by the conversation entered into by reading other poems.
— John Barton