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E - Everyone

Chapter 1: You don’t get to see the title

by hannah314159

Eleven, my friend                                                                                                                                     It is nearly time to

tuck you in and say goodbye to                                                                                                            your house on 

Memory Lane. It won't be easy

but it is time to say goodbye.                                                                                                                  The eleventh friend I've left behind.

You're not the only one. Shall we take a                                                                                                   stroll down Memory Lane?                              

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278 Reviews

Points: 18563
Reviews: 278

Sat Jun 04, 2022 2:35 am
LittleLee wrote a review...

Hey Hannah, Lee here for a short review!

Straight off, I love the format of this poem; it's very aesthetic and doesn't feel forced. Good on you! I also like how you've made use of enjambments throughout the piece to led it a good sense of continuity.

I have just one nitpick :P
After "my friend," there ought to be a comma, don't you think? Either that, or the following line shouldn't begin with a capital letter. This isn't a huge issue, of course, just a small observation.

I enjoy the general sense of sadness in this poem; i can relate to losing friends. :(

This was a lovely read! Good job and keep writing!


User avatar
38 Reviews

Points: 168
Reviews: 38

Fri May 27, 2022 10:44 pm
Sunflowerdemon3712 wrote a review...

Sunflower here for a quick little review!
Okay it's alway the short poems or stories that end up getting me going: "Wow people are amazing with what they can come up with!". Quite honestly I loved this, it's short it's simple it's wonderful! Maybe it's the music I'mm listening to to help add to the wow factor I'm not sure but either way I love this and it deserves some recognition! I could probably say more about it but I don't think I need to the beauty of the work speaks for itself! I hope you have a fantastic day/night and keep on writing! Bye!

hannah314159 says...

Hi, thank you so much for the review! There is a whole novella/novelette being spun from this, so there is more where it came from. :D thanks so much!

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
— William Shakespeare