Aaaaandrew here with a speedy review!
The poem grabs me and elicits different types of emotions than I'd expect from something about the end of childhood (murder isn't the gentlest of metaphors XD)
I really liked these lines
I held her tenderly, inhaling the scent reminiscent of youth -
the smell of fresh, white blossoms on ageing trees, of clement mornings,
biding a reluctant goodbye to her gentle passion and sunkissed bliss.
Really captures the feeling of childhood and summer very well
My biggest critique is actually the breakdown. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm an idiot at poetry, so I don't mind a breakdown. But it is not the existence a breakdown that gets me, its the fact you thought it was necessary. An artistic piece should be able to speak for itself and be able to communicate the metaphor without the outside intervention of the narrator. Animal Farm is an amazing example of this. It's a metaphor for the Russian revolution, but even if you didn't know the details of the Russian revolution (like I don't) or even if you were some person from a far-off land who didn't even know about Russia, the story can still tell you something. You can still get that message that power turns well-meaning revolutionaries into corrupt and oppressive leaders worse than those your overthrow.
Also, if you do know the details of the Russian revolution, the connection can be made without Orwell having to spell it out.
I'd say this story would be stronger if the metaphors and all the weight behind it could be received without the explanation. Maybe a way you could insert into the poem those ideas, without having to say them after the poem.
But that's all just my two cents (and bad ones at that, I'm terrible with poetry) hope it helps!
But, with the context in view, the idea of the poem is well done and very much captures that gut-wrenching feeling of ending childhood. Well done!
Thanks, and keep writing,